The Dream Shake - a Houston Rockets blog: Inner Musings of a Superstar

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Inner Musings of a Superstar

I think I finally figured out what is going on in Tracy's head. As I took a flight out for a little vacation to visit my brother in South Carolina, this little insight into Tracy McGrady came to me. With the way he dominates and then all of the sudden goes back to shooting a completely unnecessary three in transition with no one down to rebound, it just has to be what's going on.

VS.

TMac: Only 7 games left in the season, time to kick a little NBA ass! I’m going to dunk on everyone that dares to even feigns to guard the great TMAC!! Once again I will wreck this shit!

Tracy: Dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about, we’re tired and injured, I’m going to take it easy and sleep walk through the rest of the season.

TMac: Injuries are for pathetic weaklings! What we have is a mind over matter situation; they are merely the equivalent of flesh wounds. If you won’t man up, I will have to take over for us and dominate.

Tracy: Seriously, we’re 28 going on 47, what kind of domination do we have left. When you tried to jump us up out of bed yesterday I was already looking for the horse tranquilizers.

TMac: I’m 28, ladies are all over me, I have to beat them off with a stick. Hell, 47 is still younger than Deke and that cookie monster talking mofo runs the court just aching to wag his finger at the ladies in the crowd.

Tracy: Come on man, what are you doing to me? I like those 34 foot jumpers; no one ever hits us when we take those. I’m willing to compromise, how about 12 of those for every 1 drive to the lane? Is that fair?

TMac: TMac is no woman; I take it to the hole with a vengeance. When I go up, screams of joy and pleasure from the ladies are all I want to hear!

Tracy: Come on, we have a woman’s name, no reason we can’t be at least lady like on occasion. I’ve seen the amount of jewelry we wear! I’m tired of the pain!
TMac: What pain, I feel no pain! The only pain I see is that which the rim endures as I dunk on these fools.

Tracy: I’m tired of this attitude, we ain’t no spring chicken no more, we have to take it easy.

TMac: TMac doesn’t take it easy, TMac makes it LOOK easy. That’s how I roll.

Tracy: We agreed when we were 19 and playing hard defense every night that slowly I’d get to phase you out. Now you want to take back your word?

TMac: No, we just took it easy all season, it’s about to be playoff time, and The Great Wall is down, people need to see TMac again in all his manly glory.

Tracy: Well, we did shoot a lot of jumpers this year, and you’ve only made me drive about 3 times a game, so I guess I can give in.

TMac: How about we start tonight?

Tracy: Come on guy, let’s not be hasty, the playoffs aren’t here yet. We can lollygag and still make the playoffs.

TMac: Hey man, the more games we win the easier the games in the playoffs can be!

Tracy: Now that’s what I’m talking about! I’ll tell you what, for the next 7 games you can drive to the hole 5 times a game instead of 3, but I require at least 25 shots a game or else.

TMac: Well we both love to shoot, so no problem, let’s get this party started!

2 comments:

atthehive said...

Hahahahah, Lee. This is ridiculously awesome. "I've seen the amount of jewelry we wear!" Oh man.. classic.

Kevin said...

rofl