Dave and I are men, and we lost a bet: Part 1

Dave and I made a bet with MyUtahJazz, that whoever won the series would get 2 posts on the other team's blog. This is Part 1 in the 2 part bet:

Here is a little update on what the Rockets have been up to:

Teacher: Welcome back class. How has everyone's Summer Vacation been so far?
Rockets players in semi-unison: Good teacher…
Teacher: Today I want to hear from some of you. Please stand up and give the team a quick report on how you've been spending your summer vacation up to this point. Tracy, why don't you go first…

T-Mac: Well, I went golfing with my cousin Vinnie. We tried to golf 18 holes…but after 15 holes I had no legs and couldn't finish. Um…what else…I bought a new Ferrari, just because I can. This was another great summer because I didn't miss my summer vacation I had planned in early May. That was nice.

Teacher: Thanks Tracy. It sounds like your summers are the same every year…lucky you. Who's next? Yao?
Yao: My foot still hurt. My government use special witchcraft to prepare me for Beijing Olympic team. Probably lose first round…want to be like Tracy. He my BFF. Carlos Boozer send me many 'Thank You' cards. I don't understand why.

Teacher: Thanks Yao. How about you Shane…
Shane: Well, I plan on going to Salt Lake this summer to hang with my old college buddy Carlos Boozer. He said if I mow his lawn and help around the house, he'll get me an interview with Coach Sloan and Larry Miller. I just want to get back to my winning ways and it seems like know what it takes up in Utah. Plus, Carlos said he would let me play some pick up games with he and Deron so I could see what it's like to play with a real unselfish superstar. I'm super excited!

Tracy: Lucky! I would go with you, but I'm just so tired. Plus, I would need some veteran leadership to show me around up there. I mean I'm only 30 and could easily get lost in a big city like Salt Lake.

Deke: Oh teacher…me! Me!
Teacher: Yes Deke.
Deke: I am Mormon now. Church ask me to do voiceover for new Bible on CD for members. Very excited.
Tracy: I was going to do a voiceover for them too…but I just got so tired…and why did they choose you over me? That was just a bad decision.

Teacher: Well thank you for the update everyone. I hope to hear from you later in the summer with some fun updates! Class dismissed…..Tracy, you can go now…..please stand up and go.

Tracy: I got no legs teach. I'm just so tired. Teacher rolls her eyes and walks out of the room and mumbles something about 2nd round virgins.