Rafer Alston sucks, that's been widely elaborated on by this site many, many times. And today is no different. In fact, there are a lot of historical things that happened on January 3rd in the world, and Rafer's every day game play is a reflection of them.
In 1823, Stephen F. Austin gets a Texas land grant from the Mexican government. This was the start to Texas becoming it's own country. Rafer was given a shot on the And1 tour a start to a "professional career" for him. Unfortunately also on January 3rd the capital of Texas' namesake was arrested and imprisoned in 1834 (worked out in the end though, take that Santa Anna!). Rafer also has had his down swing after making the NBA, most notably, sucking.
In 1870 construction on the Brooklyn Bridge began using limestone and granite bricks in construction. To honor a bridge from his home town of NYC, Rafer continually throws up bricks still to this day.
In 1871 Henry Bradley patented his famous margarine. Much like Rafer it had a lot of promise but is now linked to heart damage.
Marvin C. Stone patented the drinking straw on January 3, 1888. This is a completely underrated invention. No more cold teeth. Plus it gave Rafer something to suck shit through.
The easiest way for Rafer to get out of town got a name on this day in 1899. The first known use of the word automobile was written in The New York Times. Rafer's from NYC, coincidence? I think not.
In 1959 Alaska took over Texas' reign as the largest land mass state in the union pissing me off (if I was alive in 1959 it would have anyway). Rafer honors this by pissing Dave and I off on a daily basis. It's his way of showing he cares.
The second worst of all happened in 1973, George Steinbrenner bought the NY Yankees. Why is this significant? Because the Yankees are one of the few things that I dislike more than Towelie. You might even say I hate the Yankees where I only hate his play on the court. So F Rafer's court time and the Yankees.
And the coup de gras is in Dave's post today. F you Al Del Greco and the Houston Oilers defense. Much like the Oilers that day, Rafer constantly fails to complete his tasks in the second half of games.
This has been January 3rd in History, thanks for tuning in.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
This Day in History: January 3rd
Posted by UofTOrange at 12:35 PM
Topics: explosion of awfulness, F U Kevin Gilbride, Rafer Alston sucks
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