Atlantic Division season previews

We normally avoid talking about other teams here... but in the spirit of sharing and the commonly-held anticipation of the 2008/09 regular season, we've joined in with other bloggers to share various thoughts and commentary on each of the divisions. Even the Eastern Conference!

Today? The Atlantic Division.

Boston Celtics
Jeff Clark: CelticsBlog.com
Jim Weeks: Green Bandwagon
FLCeltsFan: LOY's Place
John Karalis: Red's Army
Dustin Chapman: Celtics 24/7

New Jersey Nets
Dennis Velasco: About Basketball

New York Knicks
Joey: Straight Bangin'
Seth Rosenthal: Posting and Toasting

Philadelphia 76ers
Dannie & Pete: Recliner GM
Jon Burkett: Passion and Pride

Toronto Raptors
Franchise: RaptorsHQ.com
Ryan McNeill: Hoops Addict
Cuzzy: Cuzoogle

Thank Jeff over at CelticsBlog for the idea and the effort in organizing a bunch of team-specific bloggers for this task! (Don't worry, the Southwest Division preview with our Rockets commentary is coming soon!)

Sage makes Rafer look competent

For one day... Rafer's sucktitude takes a backseat to the Houston Texans. Specifically one Sage Rosenfels. FUCK YOU, Sage. I can only wish you meet these creatures:


Seriously, Fuck you, Sage - this is why your dumb ass is a back up QB.

Just to clarify - this guy is a no-talent assclown

I usually hesitate to post entries that don't have at least some tangential connection to the Houston Rockets or the NBA... but this has to be shared. We rip on him here all the time, and most anyone who reads the Houston Chronicle can't be surprised, but Richard Justice continues to be a no-talent assclown .

For a professional writer/journalist... the display of hubris and immaturity here is actually quite impressive. It also makes me sad that this is the guy hired to "cover" the professional sports teams that I spend so much energy supporting.

Not even Michael Bolton was this much of an assclown... and at least he won grammies.

Weekend plans? Oh, I have many!

In addition to watching the Rockets continue to stun Utah and their crazy fans (seriously, would a Rockets fan ever get ejected for trying to shake the basket and cussing out a referee?)...

there's also this NFL Draft thing on Saturday. And while, yes, this is predominantly a Rockets blog, I happen to love the NFL. And its Draft. And the ability to make fun of Mel Kiper's hair. I do not love when Berman ruins the suspense and tells me who is being picked though. FU, Berman. Now that the Texans are no longer a losing franchise (8-8, bitches!), and because we've done well with the last couple drafts... there's a lot of suspense building up for the 18th pick.

So, before I put my Scola jersey on tomorrow night and get ready to yell at Rafer/McGrady (9:30pm CST on ESPN)... I will be watching various NFL teams mortgage the future and spend mega-millions on 21 year old dudes whose intelligence is based on a 50 question multiple choice test. But not the Texans. We will draft wisely.

Why do I bring all this up?

Because there will be an awesome (dare I say "legendary"?) live-blog, NFL Draft chat thing going on over at DGDB&D beginning at 1:30pm tomorrow afternoon.

Assuming it doesn't take too long for me to eliminate all of my competition in a morning poker tournament, I'll be over at the DGDB&D chat shortly after it starts! See ya there?

This is not *just* a Rockets blog

For those that may have been confused by the Kobe posts... allow me to explain.

The purpose of this blog was initially for me to air my grievances against the suckiness that is/was Rafer Alston (though he's playing phenomenal right now - he sucked donkey balls in November/December). I will continue to make such complaints here.

Other 'purposes' were to make random posts to continue the plea to get Robert Horry in the Hall of Fame; develop a site to fawn over the '94/'95 Houston Rockets championship teams; and to post ANY and all other random NBA or sports related thoughts in this space. Whatever we felt like writing about is to be considered fair game.

This is NOT just a "Rockets blog" - though 99.9% of the posts are about the Houston Rockets.

Yes, you read that right. In the offseason, there may be a ton of Astros/Texans related posts here. We've already made a few posts about Roger Clemens and other non-Rockets topics.

In fact, for those that might want to know, while I am a huge Houston Rockets fan, I am also an NBA fan and will watch any NBA game that's on TV (Miami Heat excluded). Just to get a better perspective, here are my top 10 favorite all-time NBA players. You'll see that they are not just Rockets players. I like being diverse.

1. Robert Horry.
2. Hakeem.
3. Kobe Bryant. Yes, Kobe.
4. Reggie Miller. Reggie was a badass.
5. Yao.
6. Clyde.
7. Sam Cassell.
8. Penny Hardaway pre-microfracture.
9. T-Mac.
10. essentially ayone else not named "Karl Malone" or "John Stockton" or "Patrick Ewing".

That is why I participated in the Kobe Bryant Blog Day over at Hardwood Paroxysm. I am a huge Kobe fan, but I hate the Lakers. Yes, I can reconcile the two.

Don't Mess with the Commish (or Texas)

Yesterday I saw on ESPNews that Kevin Garnett would not be playing in the All Star game next weekend. Bummer. And that he would be replaced by Rasheed Wallace. My first thought was that it was disappointing that the 1st Half MVP would not be able to partake in the festivities...

My second thought was that it is rather magnanimous of David Stern to choose Rasheed over, say, Ray Allen to replace KG in the game. I think Rasheed might be the only guy in the NBA who gets under the Commish's skin more than Mark Cuban. And Stern seems to be the kind of guy who just might hold a grudge.

Turns out... this just might be one subtle way of Stern sticking it to Rasheed. Why?

Rasheed did not want to go to the game.

'Sheed had an exotic weekend vacation get-a-way all planned out. And now he's required to spend three days in New Orleans. Not exactly a relaxing island resort. Rasheed openly campaigned NOT to be selected as a reserve. No one listened. To quote from the Detroit News:

"When told he was hand-picked by commissioner David Stern to replace Garnett, Wallace gave a wry smile and said, 'It's a prestigious honor and a great pleasure.'" Something tells me what Rasheed really wanted to say included a few choice four letter words and maybe a guarantee (we all know how much he likes his guarantees).

The lesson? Don't fuck with David Stern.


Hey, 'Sheed, have fun getting dunked on by Yao next Sunday!

A communications barrier!

Okay, this is not Rockets related... but it is too damn funny not to pass along to anyone who hasn't seen it already.

Zaza Pachulia suspended

It's funnier to me because I could imagine Yao having a similar conversation with Rudy T back in 2002. Only with Rudy T drinking a bit while he's coaching...

(oh, and a thanks to Hardwood Paroxysm for directing us to this comedic masterpiece. )

Point / Counterpoint

Hey, Roger Clemens:

F-U!

Look, Lee may not care that you and 85% of the MLB players from 1988 through, oh, today, took HGH and 'roids. But I do.

(And by the way, HGH has always been illegal to obtain without a prescripton. Anabolic steroids have always been illegal. Just because it's not in baseball's rules didn't make it okay. Kinda like how baseball doesn't need to write a rule/bylaw that says you cannot murder the umpire when he makes a bad call. It's obvious.)

Yeah, the Mitchell Report was a witch hunt. But without it, we would have never known about your fetish for ass-injected B12. Or lidocain. Or the rabies shots you had to get after Mike Piazza touched you. For it is certainly not information you would have volunteered had it not been for the MLB-sponsored witch hunt.

Too bad you don't play for the Astros now, because you and Tejada would apparently have gotten along great! Just ask Raffy!

Look, you did the 'roids. You did the HGH. You know it. We all know it now. You're still going to get into the HOF, just not on the first ballot. Just sack up and admit what you did. Waiting a month to get your buddy to throw you softball questions and then answer prepared questions by the media is not exactly going to prove your "innocence".

Trying to get me to believe that you have no idea why your friend would lie about you just insults my intelligence. And I hate the fact that I supported you for 24 years even when everyone else hated you for being a prick. Now you prove them right. Thanks, a-hole.

B12 and Lidocaine are Life's Little Miracles

The Dream Shake was founded to talk about everything Houston Rockets, but we certainly reserve the right to talk about whatever we want (It's my ball, if you don't like it I go home and take it with me!) And to me, Roger Clemens stating that the steroids he is accused of injecting were:

"Lidocaine and [vitamin] B-12. It's for my joints, and B-12 I still take today,"

Why do I care about this little story? Because Roger is a Houston, University of Texas, Red Sox and Astros icon. And those all happen to e things I care a lot about. Yes I know he plays for the Yankees, I try to ignore that because I genuinely like Roger. I've met him multiple times, he always been great, especially with kids. He signs autographs, and will shoot the shit with you, I like that in my sports heroes. Plus, he came home (even if he went and played mercenary this last year) and that is a big deal to me.

Here's my quandary, we all know Roger did the roids and the HGH, I just don't care. I also don't care that Jeff Bagwell or Barry Bonds did them, or the other 85% of the players in the MLB. It just doesn't matter to me. And some can say it was against the rules, but an unenforceable rule is not really a rule in my book. And hell, HGH wasn't even against said rules until much later. The problem I have is that Roger is obviously not telling the truth, and I'm not sure why. He lives in Houston and people idolize the man here. He was unlikely to play baseball next year and has more money than a few of the owners in the league (not based in fact.) Why does he care? I mean, he's a man, he's over 40, so maybe it's just a fire that says he has to defend his own honor. But come on Roger, just let it go.

That's not to say in any way that he should have, or anyone should have for that matter, cooperated with Mitchell. Fuck him and his witch hunt, he had no authority and had no right to ask anyone to come talk to him. You are a fucking idiot no matter how innocent you are if you would have talked to him ahead of time.

Roger, I'm just going to have to remember you like this:

and this:

The good news is that while it's a ridiculous traveshamockery, I won't have to see you in Cooperstown with a Yankees hat on your plaque.

Without Choke City, there is no Clutch City

January 3, 1993.

It was fifteen years ago. The Houston Oilers set the standard for embarrassment in professional sports. The Oilers, led by future Hall of Fame QB Warren Moon (and the prolific run-and-shoot offense) took on the hated rival Buffalo Bills. The Bills were usually led by Jim Kelly, but not this time - Frank Reich was in at QB due to an injury to Kelly.

The Oilers quickly built a 28-3 halftime lead. Warren Moon was unstoppable.

And yet I'll never forget the halftime interview of Bill Cowher by Bob Costas. Pittsburgh was set to play the winner of the Oilers/Bills game, and Costas asked Cowher if he was already preparing to play the Houston Oilers due to the "insurmountable" halftime lead.

That smug midget jinxed us.

The Oilers took the field in the 2nd half ready for blood. And on the Bills' first pass of the half, Bubba McDowell took Frank Reich's errant pass all the way to house for a TD. The score:

35-3.

There was no way we could lose this game. Check that...

Offensive Coordinator Kevin Gilbride (douchebag #1 - ask Buddy Ryan) and Defensive Coordinator Jim Eddy (#2) then decided to go into a wussified conservative offense along with a prevent defense. As everyone at home knows, but apparently no NFL coach knows - the prevent defense only prevents you from winning. The Oilers went into a lock-down mode playing not to lose instead of playing to win.

Next thing I know... the Bills run one in on a seemingly meaningless 1 yard TD. Then the Bills recover an onside kick.

Then Don Beebe runs OUT OF FUCKING BOUNDS... and catches a TD in the end zone. The ref was not paying attention to the guy 10 feet out of bounds who still caught the pass and did not throw a flag. 35-17 all of a sudden. Fuck.

By that point, my 15 year old head was spinning and next thing I know the Bills score on a TD pass to Andre Reed. And then another. All of a sudden it's 35-31. And on another Reed TD reception... the Bills somehow took the lead at 38-35.

Oilers somehow tie it up to force OT (thank you, Al Del Greco for delaying the inevitable.)

Early in the OT session, Moon attempts a third-down pass to Ernest Givens. But Givens was given the Woodland Critters treatment by the Buffalo defense. The gang-rape prevented him getting to the ball, and Moon's pass was picked off. Bills ball at the 20 yard line. Game fucking over.

Now, it goes without saying that this game sucked huge Donkey Balls. And at that point was the basis for the worst day of my entire life.

But, on the flip side... while the Oilers introduced us to the concept of Choke City -- without this game (and the Rockets collapse against Phoenix in Game 2 in 1994), there could never be a Clutch City. And I guess I should be thankful for that.

Go Rockets!

People That Piss Me Off (Week the First)

The Rockets have gone from 6-1 to 6-3 in the last few days (Memphis?!? Really?).
Tracy McGrady is hurt and might miss a week or so.
We have to face Dallas, San Antonio and Phoenix in our next three games - oh, joy.

... and Rafer is still on the roster.

I therefore bring you: "People Who Piss Me Off" this week.

Leading off - Stephon Marbury.On Tuesday, Marbury and his Knicks lost to the Suns. No shame in that. The Knicks suck. The Suns kind of do not. Apparently Stephon was informed on the plane flight afterwards that he was being replaced by some dude/chick named Mardy Collins. Sure, I can understand him not being happy about this. Starbury is the last person in the NBA to learn that he sucks. So, what does Steph do? Oh, I'll let the AP tell you:

Upon hearing [from Eddy Curry] that he would back up second-year guard Mardy Collins, Marbury marched toward the front of the plane to meet with [Isiah] Thomas. Five minutes later, an enraged Marbury told his teammates that if he wasn't starting he wouldn't suit up for the game. But it was something else Marbury said that stunned his teammates...
"Isiah has to start me," Marbury fumed, according to the source. "I've got so much
(stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first.
You have no idea what I know."

So I get all excited to learn that Stephon might tell some good gossip that somehow wasn't brought forth during this summer's trial? But... what happens next? Stephon gets fined. $195k.

Instead of taking a stand for what he apparently believes in, Stephon gets on a plane and comes back. No gossip spoken. No dirt on Isiah. No use of the word "bitch" (damn). F U Stephon for making me anxious to hear some good dirt during an otherwise crappy work week. Oh, and kindly find your way over to the bench, where you will still reside.

Next? Richard Justice... for insinuating that maybe Steve Francis should be given a chance to play.

Look, I know Rafer sucks. A lot. But the Franchise is not the answer. Unless we can trade him to Utah for Deron Williams. Then I will thank him. At this point, Stevie is to the Rockets as Kyle Broflovski is to the Colorado all-state basketball team. Kyle's negroplasty did not work, and Steve's supposed new attitude clearly isn't enough.

At least Rafer only shoots the ball 10-12 times a game. Stevie will dribble out the 24 second shot clock and then shoot (they both have abject fears of passing the ball to tall Chinese men apparently). Furthermore, without Cuttino Mobley present, Franchise has to be distracted. For he has no reason to wake up in the morning.

It's bad enough that Richard Justice won't leave Mario Williams alone. Now he's trying to get Francis to play consistent minutes? No thanks, dude.


Honorable mention attempts to piss me off?

1. Barry Bonds - dude, it's basketball season. Get off my news.
2. Rafer. Duh.
3. Lee Evans - FU Lee Evans. You've ruined 3 perfectly good FFL teams.
4. Bill Simmons - I used to love your work. Now you have an undefeated basketball team, an undefeated football team, and the reigning World Series Champs. Lucky bastard.
5. Karl Malone - Yeah, just because you are off hunting little Mexican girls doesn't mean I forgot about you. Nor has this guy:

Until next week...