No, no, no!! My head is about to explode

The Rockets like who they have at point guard? Right now?!?

Did we make a trade I was unaware of???
No?


... because assault, drunk driving and all around sucktitude clearly isn't getting the message across!!

Hey, Rafer! You suck, ya jackass!

We are only 27 days from the start of the Houston Rockets' regular season (where we host Memphis at 7:30pm that Monday night). Which means we need to re-declare something:

RAFER ALSTON SUCKS!

Whew... that felt good!!
For some reason, I haven't felt compelled to say that in a while!

Why now? Maybe it's because John Hollinger agrees with me.

Biggest Weakness: Point guard
The Rockets have four-fifths of a championship starting lineup and a championship-caliber bench. Also, they have Alston. While he was better last year than in 2006-07, he's pretty clearly the weak link in an imposing starting five. Alston is a solid defender and dribbler, but he hasn't shot over 40 percent in four years and opponents feel free to gamble off of him to double Yao or McGrady. Finally, he's 32, an age when many quick guards start losing it.

You see, I'm not the only one who thinks knows he sucks...

Yes, I still say Rafer needs to be traded. The Rockets are going places this year, and I don't want drunky mucking everything up. I'll even risk the inevitable midnight threats from Rafer's mom -- Rafer sucks and we need to get value for him while we can.

Or, in other words... "don't pass to this guy, he sucks!"

YOU SUCK!

(note: anyone who thought I might have softened my stance on Rafer in the offseason clearly hasn't been paying attention...)

Rafer is compounding his mistakes

So... Rafer "apologized" for his DWI arrest today.

here's his actual apology:

"On behalf of Mr. Alston, he wishes to apologize to the Rockets and the fans... He never intended for this to happen. He is looking forward to putting this behind him."

Mistake #1 - hiring Rusty Hardin's firm to represent you. After the Roger Clemens debacle, hiring Rusty just makes you look guilty. And unlike hiring Johnny Cochran, you don't get the option of "I'd rather look guilty at the mall" here (thank you, Chris Rock). Then again, that leads us into Mistake #2..

Mistake #2 - why the hell are you apologizing? Step 1 should be to deny everything. Step 3 is to profit. I thought this was common knowledge by now?!?

Or, put it another way, you should have used the Bundy Credo!!!
(no, not the one about "hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum" - I meant the other Bundy Credo!)

"lie... sell shoes ...and lie!"

Then again, you are driving around Houston with a Canadian driver's license? And you still list your residence as Toronto, Canada? Wow - maybe you and I both agree that you should be run out of Houston?!? We may finally have found some common ground here!

This is my favorite part though:

"The officer described Alston as being belligerent and combative."

Ya don't say? If only you were belligerent and combative in the playoffs, then I wouldn't be asking the Rockets to trade your sorry, drunken ass.

Rockets/Hawks - the Best of Both Worlds!

Last night's game was not only our 20th (!?!?!!) win in a row... it was also the best of both worlds for me as I write today's recap. And no, I am not referring to Randal Graves' movie selections when I say "Best of Both Worlds." I promise.

No - it's a twin killing, because not only did we win - and win ugly - in a very classic "trap game", but now I also get to insult, cajole and ridicule Rafer Alston mercilessly after actually saying something nice about him yesterday afternoon. I think a chick-with-a-dick could have outplayed Rafer last night.

Seriously, 3-18? What convinced you that taking eighteen-freakin'-shots was actually a good idea, Rafer? Was it when you finally managed to hit the rim on shot #7? I mean, usually an 0-8 first half shooting display would encourage me to tone it down in the second half. But no, you chucked up ANOTHER ten shots! An impressive display of hubris!

Hey, Rafer - you suck! Ya jackass!


I can't believe you are a professional basketball player, Rafer. You should have been working in the snack bar during the 2nd half! What the hell was that shooting display last night?!?!?

Okay, okay - enough about Rafer. It's pretty clear he sucks again and the "old" Rafer re-emerged after two months in hiding. I sorta liked the new Rafer, but last night reminded me why I still hate the mere concept of "Rafer Alston, starting point guard."

______

As for the game itself - the win was absolutely freakin' necessary. And thank God we have T-Mac, Luis Scola and Chuck Hayes. Carl Landry would have been MVP of this game, but unfortunately he and Yao were back in Houston playing cards. For the first time in the streak I actually thought the outcome might be in doubt.

Let me put this in a different perspective. Richard Justice will probably rip this off later today, but whatever. Let's look at the standings. Right now the Rockets are 44-20 and on a 20-game winning streak. We are still one game behind the Los Angeles Lakers for #1 in the Western Conference. Everyone knows this.

BUT - what if, for some crazy reason, we "only" went 15-5 over the last 20 games? I mean, it wouldn't have been all that surprising to lose to Cleveland once, the Hornets once or twice, the Mavericks or even the Atlanta team we saw last night. Not to forget about Denver. If we somehow dropped five of those games, we'd be 39-25. Still respectable, right? And yet, we'd be in 8th or 9th place in the West and still scrambling just to make the playoffs. Especially if one of the hypothetical losses was to Denver.

Think about this: We needed every single one of the games we won during the streak. How ridiculous is that?

Last night's game is why we love the Rockets though. To explain it using a poker metaphor - it was a classic night of being card dead and yet grinding out a profitable evening anyway. We couldn't shoot. We had trouble rebounding. We couldn't pass the ball either (thanks, Rafer). And yet we just found a way to stay in the game and somehow steal a victory. The NBA equivalent of a successful bluff.

Of course, it helps when the Hawks decide to try to guard Tracy McGrady with Marvin Williams. Yeah, that makes no sense. Thanks for the gift, uhhh, who is the Hawks coach again? I forgot his name. Do they even have a coach right now?


Well, a win is a win. And I'll definitely take it!

Friday night - the Charlotte Bobcats. Another young, athletic team.
Win #21 in a row!

Go Rockets!

Where we welcome back a familiar friend

Lost in all the hulabaloo about Yao, Yao's season-ending injury, "Luis Landry," the 15 game winning streak (soon to be 16), the Bobby Jackson trade, and T-Mac actually trying to defend his performance in Game 7 last year (yes, this will be a post of its own... the audacity of T-Mac!) -- I realized I had forgotten about someone!!

This guy:

To be fair, lots of things get overlooked when your team wins 15 freakin' games. IN A ROW! But, just to be clear... we maintain the following stance:

Rafer Alston sucks.

I realize I had not used that tag in any recent posts, but certain moments in the last few games reminded me of this eternal truth. I was a the Memphis game. Rafer played great for 2 minutes... making three 3s and a layup almost immediately. Then he never scored again. Or played defense. Or did much of anything. Fortunately, the opponent was Memphis, so it did not matter.

Then last night I'm watching the Rockets/Nuggets game - and right from the tip, Rafer is chucking shots like there is no tomorrow. And, naturally, missing badly. He even took a 3 from somewhere around 28 feet. With plenty of time still on the clock. Made no sense to me. He did finish with a respectable stat line, but his tendency to get shot-happy scares me.

Think I'm over-reacting? Check this out:

Rafer's stats for the past five games.

If the playoffs started today, Houston would host Utah. Which means Rafer would be matching up with Deron Williams. Oh... shit.

In the last five games, Rafer is averaging six (6!!) three-point attempts per. While making about 1/3 of them. Which is okay, I guess. But that's a lot of unnecessary chucking. He's also averaging over 12 shots a game. When Yao went down, I did NOT expect Rafer to be the one to take the extra shots. The offensive pecking order should be T-Mac, Scola, Battier... and then somewhere after that guys named "Rafer."

Amazingly, Rafer is up to over 40% shooting on the season, and 34% from the 3 point line. A major improvement over November/December, but he's starting to regress back into the unconscious shooter he should never be. He still can't shoot free throws though. And he and Luther Head combined to make the Lowry/Crittenton guard combination look like All Stars. It is not a comforting thought.

While I really like the chemistry and ball movement we've shown with Yao out, and the Rockets' team D has been undoubtedly fantastic... Rafer's potential to undermine all of this forward progress scares me to death. Then again, if you told me we'd get 12.4 points and over 7 assists per game from our starting point guard - I'd guess I'd be happy with that.

Just know that you're not off the hook, Rafer... we're watching. Closely.

We win again! And again... and again...

That's 12!!!!!!

Rockets clearly the hottest team in the NBA right now. And with four more home games in a row, the streak could conceivably reach 16. Which would be the longest in the NBA this season, and would also be a franchise record.

Just imagine if we could shoot free throws!

or if Luther Head could learn how to make a post entry pass!

or if they'd stop calling B.S. fouls on our foreign guys!

or if Rafer would stop taking stupid shots and turning the ball over 6 times!

Go Rockets!

We've been saying this for months... and years!!

Hey, Jerome Solomon, I like you. I like your blog on chron.com (the only Rockets "news" worth reading on the Chronicle's page). You seem more grounded in reality than Richard Justice.

BUT - stop espousing ideas about how Rafer is "inconsistent" and is the main problem with the Rockets like it is an original idea. Yeah, I saw your post today on Rafer. I wonder if you've seen the hundred or so "Rafer Alston sucks" entries we've made here. And we've been saying he sucks and is the problem for three years now. We just didn't use this blog as the main forum for our complaints until this past November.

Seriously, just click on the "Rafer Alston sucks" tag below and see how we've beaten you to this conclusion many times before today's little diatribe!!

I'll take a few please

I'm still ignoring last nights frustrating game for the most part, but I might find less anger later and post about it.

A few things were apparent last night. Yao has to be the focal point of the offense and when he is, the rest of the guys have less room for stupid shots.

So, I was checking out TrueHoop this morning and it contained a link to a Washington Times Article.

In it was this excerpt:

SEEN AND HEARD
In addition to a rigorous offseason training program, Wizards forward Caron Butler attributed his career-high 21.5 points and .481 shooting percentage to the work of shooting coach Dave Hopla, who joined Washington's coaching staff this season.
One of the elements of Hopla's expertise is shot charting, which is new to Butler and his teammates. It allows a player to see the spots on the floor from which he's shooting well — or poorly.
"It lets me know what I need to work on," Butler said. "And with the percentage now, I know from the floor, I'm shooting like 80 [percent] from 16 on in. It gives me confidence. I can come to a spot on the floor and know it's a good shot. I can be like 'Coach, I'm shooting 80! It was a good shot!' "

To which I have to say:

Rookies Rock Rip-City!

I like alliteration. I like winning, too. Which made last night's game completely kick ass.

Rockets down 50-42 at the half. Rockets decide enough is enough (that means you and your turnovers, Rafer) and hold Portland to all of 29 points in the second half. Behind Carl Landry, Luis Scola and Aaron Brooks, the Rockets lock down Brandon Roy and the Trailblazers and win 89-79.

Yao Ming got five bullshit fouls called on him... but fortunately his fourth Q services were not needed this time.

Lee and I will probably tackle the "how shitty are NBA refs" issue sometime this week - as that is four games in a row where phantom fouls almost hurt the Rockets (specifically Yao and Landry). Hell, Luis Scola got tackled on a rebound when he had position -- and they called a foul on HIM!

Back to the game... Bill and Air Bullard named Landry and Scola "players of the game" and rightly so. When they are players of the game, the Rockets are undefeated. When Rafer is player of the game, the Rockets are like 2-15, i.e., completely fucked.

Best part of last night's game? The fact that it seems that Ricky read everything I wrote the last two weeks and took every single piece of my advice. Really:

1. Use Luis Scola. And play him more. Check!
2. Bench Chuck Hayes and play Carl Landry a whole lot more. Check and check!
3. Stop playing Rafer Alston (pretty much every post I've ever written, but........). Check!

Rafer had another beauty of a game last night. 3 of 8 from the field, 9 points, 1 assist and a whopping 5 turnovers (including 4 turnovers in 6 possessions in the third quarter - impressive!). Enter Aaron Brooks - and the Rockets quickly took control of the game.

Likely 3rd Q conversation

Ricky: Hey, Rafer...
Rafer: Yo, coach, I told you to call me "Skip" -- but what's up?
Ricky: Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!
Aaron Brooks: pwn3d, bitch!
The way the Rockets just shut down Portland reminded me very, very much of last year's team. The non-Game 7 collapsing version I mean. And also using three rookies in crunch-time. I was highly, highly impressed [and pumping my fist after nearly every play, instead of throwing things at my TV for once]. It's like JVG came back and gave a pre-game pep talk!

Hell, even Richard Justice took time away from slurping Bud Selig and giving Brett Favre the reach-around to congratulate the Rockets and the rooks.

All in all, it was quite the enjoyable Friday night in front of the TV!


Go Rockets! 24-19! First Western Conference team to win in Portland this year!

Turnovers suck

Luckily the team hasn't had too many as of late. I was reading a Feigen breakdown of the last few games lower turnover rate and saw this:

"In that stretch, I had games of four, five, six turnovers," guard Rafer Alston said. "After the Philly game, I know I made a concerted effort to not turn the ball over and be sure and strong with the ball. I noticed that my turnovers and the team's are down significantly in the past few games."

Rafer apparently hadn't noticed before that he was turning the ball over. Why in the Philly game did you need to have 6 turnovers and 9 as a team in the fourth quarter to know you were turning the ball over too much? Wouldn't the first 2-3 have been a good indication? Why do you need six? The four and then the five in the two prior games weren't bad enough to show you either? Six is the magic number? Really?

Man, I really tried to like you when you first got here, but shit like this keeps you permanently on my "I hate you as a player" list.

An All-Star photo essay

The end.

More reasons why Yao Ming completely rules

Lee forwarded me an awesome interview/article on Yao Ming after the Philly game debacle.

For the first time in his entire career, Yao Ming left the arena and refused to talk to the media after the game. This was certainly understandable given that the Rockets blew a 16 point lead and the additional fact that Yao's teammates Rafer and Luther combined to shoot the ball 26 more times than Yao did.

(Yao after another Luther Head bad pass)

But after a night to reflect on a bad loss, Yao proved why he's the F'n man:

TITAN Sports: Right after the game last evening, why did you leave without taking the post-game press conference/interview? This is the very first time that such thing happened ever since you came to NBA.

Yao Ming: I really don’t know what else I can say. I was feeling very very angry and at the same time quite melancholy; so I just took my bath and left. Moreover, I knew, if I did attend the press conference/interview last evening, all I would have said would definitely be angry words. I don’t want to become angry or mad again. Such temper tantrum won’t help to solve problems. I have told you earlier that I have said what I should have said already.

Granted, this here blog has long been a proponent of Yao getting angry and playing angry. But he has a point. Temper tantrums do not solve anything (unless it ends with Rafer injured). Yao is a better man than me - I'd have been cussing and complaining and chewing out everyone in a post-game conference. He knew that he could not put himself in that position, so he chose not to allow for that opportunity. Smart man.

To continue:

TITAN Sports: So the key is which particular position that had not played well?

Yao Ming: Every one of us; we all have issues/problems. (When I said) every one of us, it also included me. We are a collective. When we win, it is the Rockets who win; it is not someone has won. When the Rockets lose, we lose as a team. We have not played well at all.

TITAN Sports: So who should bear the responsibility for this defeat?

Yao Ming: Of course, it is on me. Since I want to step up to lead this team, naturally, I should bear the responsibility. I felt very sad and uncomfortable about the loss, but we need to look and move forward. We just cannot always live in the shadow of defeats and the past.

Now *that* is a leader. While Rafer tries to spread blame around when he fucks up a game, Yao takes responsibility for losses - even when they are clearly not his fault in any way, shape or form. T-Mac is also to be credited for having the same attitude - the difference is that Game 7 last year kinda really was T-Mac's fault.

I've stated before that we have to re-adjust our expectations for this season. We have to be patient. To overcome Rafer's shittiness and Luther's cowardice, it is going to take time to learn Ricky's motion offense, get T-Mac back to good health and also figure out the best way to use Scola, Brooks and Landry. The Rockets are not going to be a team anyone wants to play after the All-Star break. Yao sort of seems to agree:

TITAN Sports: You also added that the Rockets is like a sinking ship with a big hole in the hull. Is the situation of the Rockets that serious and worse as you described?

Yao Ming: How severe or dangerous the Rockets is has to be completely decided by us. If we play as hard as we can, we can turn the situation around…..or else…………….I believe we can turn it around.

After 40 games - the turn-around starts today. Seattle visits on MLK day.

Time to show the Durants while a playoff team looks like.

Deep Thoughts - by Rafer Alston

Rafer is about as consistent as Eli Manning

To paraphrase Mr. Garrison...

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, what do I have to do to get people to understand how much Rafer Alston sucks?!? Now I have the Houston freakin' Chronicle publishing articles about how the Rockets are "more consistent" with Rafer Alston as the PG.

You've gotta be f--king kidding me! Let's see, Rafer is the starting PG for a drastically underachieving team that's 17-17 (or .500 for those of you who like percentages and shit). The Rockets were projected to compete for the best record in the West. With McGrady and Yao, they were expected to make a strong push for playoff success. Instead, the newly "consistent" Rafer has "led" the team to the 4th best record in its own division, and would currently be on the outside looking in for the playoffs.

That aside, today's Rafer-themed article in the Chron is a puff piece for mediocrity.

Rafer: "We put in a lot of work. I think it's starting to show."

Hey, Rafer, by "starting to show" do you mean your 39% shooting? Or your 31% shooting behind the arc? Or your 62% free throw percentage? Or your two turnovers a game average? Enlighten me, please, for I must know what you have actually "improved" on this year.

Rafer: "I think I'm getting a better angle and more arc on the runners and the floaters," ... "I'm getting more spin when I put it off the glass. I give myself a better chance to make."

Holy shit - you aren't talking about that "tearput" shot of yours, are you? Urgent and horrifying news story: Rafer, you still can't make that shot. Stop taking it! Do I need to have all 8 of your bosses give you copies of that memo? Making 1-in-10 is not marked improvement. Or at least, not enough improvement to matter.

Maybe I need to contact the guy over at the Larry Hughes blog to dedicate some space to your shot selection as well..........

Oh, wait, there's more - it gets better:

"You're always aware of the criticism," Alston said. "But I thought of it like a football player. We have franchise players on our team, but I'm still the quarterback, and if the team loses, the quarterback is going to get the criticism. I felt that as a point guard on any level, you're going to get the criticism, because you spearhead the team, set the tone for the team. I listen to it here and there. It's funny to me. It's just opinions. If someone calls in and says, 'We got to get rid of Alston,' that's one person's opinion. The next person could call in and say 'Alston is really good.' You have to be a strong-minded person. That's what I am. I can deal with all the criticism."

Dude, you are barely 6' tall and are even skinnier than me (which is saying something). To compare yourself to a football player is laughable (unless you are comparing yourself to David Carr. That might actually be appropriate.) And I wouldn't hold my breath waiting to hear someone say "Alston is really good" - this isn't the And-1 league. I just hope that this "criticism" you are hearing is the ranting and raving this blog has done to get your ass traded. FYI, Aaron Brooks is outplaying you. He's a midget. And he'd have your job if Ricky wasn't so afraid of rookies.

More from Ricky:

"I think Rafer's really done a nice job in the last week and a half, two weeks doing that," coach Rick Adelman said. "I think he has a mindset because of the opportunities there. The way teams are trying to defend us, it's going to be open. If we set a good screen for him, or any of the guards, if they're going to put two guys on Yao, there's no one to help, and he can attack the basket. We have to do it that way. We have to attack."

Problem is... Rafer still doesn't attack the basket. (Indirect evidence of McGrady's "leadership"?) One layup against Orlando does not change an entire reputation. And you still took the shot too early! And you're always open because the best defense against Yao is to let you chuck 3s all day. Sometimes they even hit the rim!

Oh, here's the grand finale:

"I was struggling with the 3. I thought I could do something I've been known for through my life, that's being a penetrating guard," Alston said. "What helps is I'm finishing at a high percentage right now, driving to the basket, being able to finish with both hands. Then it opens up my jump shot. Now, they have a tendency to close out on me short, knowing I'm driving more, and I get a better look at the 3 ... We've worked since training camp, Coop, Kenny and I, on different finishes, different spins, putting more arc on the ball. They felt I could finish better around the rim and I'm doing so."

First... your struggles with the 3 are decidedly not in the past tense. You still suck at it. And if finishing 50% of your layups is a "high percentage" - you've been talking to Bonzi too much. Furthermore, the LAST thing we want is for your jump shot to be open - it means you aren't passing it to Yao enough.

I have never seen someone so satisfied with themselves when their team is playing badly. Yeah, you've won 4 of 6. But there are initial 28 other games you still have to make-up for, Rafer.

What next... an article in the Chron praising McGrady's toughness? I can almost sense Yao seething.

current record: 17-17; game 3 of projected 4 game winning streak is tomorrow night versus Washington (sans Agent Zero).

Two Down, Two to Go

Well, that's the start to the season comeback anyway. Rockets win tonight 103-91 in a game that was not that close. Yao was typically dominant here's his line:

12/21 and 6/7 for 30 points, 4 O 4 D for 8 rebounds, 6 assists, 1 steal, and 4 counted blocks, he actually had six, the score keeper is on crack for not getting the other two.

You know who thinks he's good? Eddy Curry. You know who's not good?

Every time he plays Yao he tries to play hard, every time he plays Yao, Yao dominates. Give it up Eddy, you suck.

You know who doesn't suck? Aaron Brooks. 22 points including 4/5 from 3 for the big little guy. I think he didn't want the other wee man Nate Robinson to show him up. Nate tried to play D on him a few times and it was like midget wrestling, it was awesome.

And Rafer, seriously dude, you must like being shit on by this web site. After a spectacular game last night you follow it up with a complete clunker:

5/14 including 2 for 8 from the 3 point line. Fine man, you suck. There! Are you happy now???

Why didn't Luis Scola play more tonight? He had 10 points in 9 minutes and then didn't play again until the very end of the game. It really made no sense. He was 5/6 with a rebound and a steal. It's like Chewbacca, he's a wookie on Endor, it doesn't make sense.

Great game guys, let's keep it up. Wizards up next at 6PM CST on Tuesday. Then the Knicks at the Garden and then the Timberwolves at home. I guess when Dave predicted four in a row he didn't realize the worst team in the league was our fifth game. So I'll be the first to say it: We should make it 5 in a row. Dave and I will be there for that one. I love these guys night out packages, 2 beers, 2 dogs and a giveaway for the price of a normal ticket, my wife isn't so enamored. The Hornets are up after that, and I want no part of predictions/guarantees for that one.

This Day in History: January 3rd

Rafer Alston sucks, that's been widely elaborated on by this site many, many times. And today is no different. In fact, there are a lot of historical things that happened on January 3rd in the world, and Rafer's every day game play is a reflection of them.

In 1823, Stephen F. Austin gets a Texas land grant from the Mexican government. This was the start to Texas becoming it's own country. Rafer was given a shot on the And1 tour a start to a "professional career" for him. Unfortunately also on January 3rd the capital of Texas' namesake was arrested and imprisoned in 1834 (worked out in the end though, take that Santa Anna!). Rafer also has had his down swing after making the NBA, most notably, sucking.

In 1870 construction on the Brooklyn Bridge began using limestone and granite bricks in construction. To honor a bridge from his home town of NYC, Rafer continually throws up bricks still to this day.

In 1871 Henry Bradley patented his famous margarine. Much like Rafer it had a lot of promise but is now linked to heart damage.

Marvin C. Stone patented the drinking straw on January 3, 1888. This is a completely underrated invention. No more cold teeth. Plus it gave Rafer something to suck shit through.

The easiest way for Rafer to get out of town got a name on this day in 1899. The first known use of the word automobile was written in The New York Times. Rafer's from NYC, coincidence? I think not.

In 1959 Alaska took over Texas' reign as the largest land mass state in the union pissing me off (if I was alive in 1959 it would have anyway). Rafer honors this by pissing Dave and I off on a daily basis. It's his way of showing he cares.

The second worst of all happened in 1973, George Steinbrenner bought the NY Yankees. Why is this significant? Because the Yankees are one of the few things that I dislike more than Towelie. You might even say I hate the Yankees where I only hate his play on the court. So F Rafer's court time and the Yankees.

And the coup de gras is in Dave's post today. F you Al Del Greco and the Houston Oilers defense. Much like the Oilers that day, Rafer constantly fails to complete his tasks in the second half of games.

This has been January 3rd in History, thanks for tuning in.

That is not the formula for success

Thank God it is 2008 - for 2007 could not have been more disappointing and frustrating if you were a member of the Houston Rockets.

Monday night's effort and result was a metaphor for the entire season to date. Start strong, look impressive... then go limp and lose to Golden State.

In the process, we may have stumbled upon an anti-formula. Whereas the formula for success is simple: play inside-out, feed the Big Man, and then make open 3s... the Rockets tried a new formula Monday night. Let's break it down:

1. Announce that T-Mac will possibly miss 7 more games. (check!)
2. Only get the aforementioned Big Man (that 7'5" guy named Yao) all of eight (8!!) shots in the entire game. (check!!)
3. Play Rafer Alston 44 minutes and also allow him to chuck bricks seventeen (17!!) times. (check!!!)

For those without math degrees, Rafer shot more than twice as much as Yao. Brilliant!

4. Miss 10 layups. Yes, I am looking at you, Bonzi.

and...

5. Go up by 11 points in the third quarter and immediately declare victory. And by "declare victory" I mean stop playing defense, stop passing the ball, stop trying to take the ball to the basket and stop rebounding. Then again, the Rockets made no effort to rebound all night. Out-rebounded 47-34 by Golden State. Ouch.

Of course, there is an easier way to explain how/why the Rockets lost Monday:

When Rafer Alston is named "Player of the Game" by Bill and Clyde... you're pretty fucked.

Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison!!!

Vacations Rule!

It’s Lee bitches…
I’m back and the Rockets are too after a long layover from the playing like shit tour. I had a great vacation and it’s extending into tonight because I just got back from some gumbo and fried shrimp at Pappadeaux’s and forgot to start the DVR so it’s there were only 9 minutes left in the first when I started watching. The Rockets are back to the scene of the start to their downfall, their first loss of the season and the awful, yet talented Memphis Grizzlies’ Fed Ex Forum.

So far Yao seems to be taking the game seriously with TMac out resting his laurels, or whatever you rest when you aren’t really hurt but don’t want to play. Unfortunately his aggressiveness tonight has got the best of him and he has 3 fouls. Again though, he doesn’t whine when he actually fouls someone, so I don’t get why refs don’t see this.

Aaron Brooks is a better passer than I remember him being at Oregon and has really impressed me with his, “I don’t give a shit, I’m a good player” attitude. He shoots the ball ridiculously fast; his release is perfect for creating his own shot. I am beginning to like him similar to how I liked Sam Cassell his rookie year, and that is a huge compliment from me. The best part about him is that I don’t have to bitch about how much Rafer sucks because he is taking some of his minutes. Don’t get me wrong, Rafer still sucks shit through a straw. (That has to be a top ten phrase for how much someone sucks, right?)

Mike Miller kills me; he is way too good of a basketball player to be as shitty as he is.

Dikembe is one of the best arguers in the league. I have literally never seen him leave a call alone. I have no idea what he says though, it could be like Dick Bavetta and Charles Barkley, just a lot of jawing but him asking how the ref's kids are. But regardless, he talks after every single foul called against him. And because he’s the cookie monster, it actually doesn’t bother me. The guy makes me laugh. I think the guy in charge of that commercial with all the foreign NBA players lets him speak just so I can get a chuckle.

Rockets have been really good about the 2 for 1 situations this year, and it’s no different at the half this time. They run Adelman’s offense perfectly in those situations. The rest of the time you ask? Not so much… This half time they actually get a 3 for 1 because Stromile Swift traveled, but couldn’t capitalize on the third chance. To be fair there were only .3 seconds left, so it was a touch and toss situation for Bonzi. We were up 12 at one point and the Grizz got it to one, but a 9-4 run by the boys in red got it back to 7 at the half.

You know what sucks about Rafer more than anything? He seems like an okay guy when it comes to charity off the court. Obviously he’s had his breaking laws fun, but it’s mostly been little stuff. He always seems to be on at half time doing stuff for da kids. Also, his girlfriend Ashley Walker is kind of hot. Of course he’s got some bank so that’s really not a surprise.

I’m headed to the Texans game n Sunday, and then every second of my sports energy can be focused on the Rockets. The Texans have a chance to finish 8-8 and give the city of Houston (or at least those non-Titans traitors) a little hope going into next season. Seriously, I love my Longhorns, I love Vince Young, but on the field, in the NFL, he is the enemy. I wish him good luck, but nothing but losses against the Texans. And speaking of the Horns, congrats to the good guys in Burnt Orange for their 7th consecutive 10 win season, the third best such streak of all time, one better than the poster boys of ESPN USC I will add.

The Rockets come back from half time with a bit of hustle; I like it when that happens. I don’t like it when Rafer shoots the “tearput” though, that thing always infuriates me. Clyde actually said he thought he was at his best when he was doing that, I guess he just sucks a little less when he does. Though I will give him some backhanded credit, he has been playing better since Aaron Brooks became a factor; it’s too bad he couldn’t do it on his own. I’ll take him sucking less in any way I can though.

Seriously, Mike Miller has all of the tools, he can shoot, jump, pass and rebound, but still sucks, his lack of motivation pisses me off. I had all of the drive, but just didn’t have the natural skill. Truthfully, the Grizzlies as a whole are a bunch of disappointments. Miller, Gasol, Swift, Darko, all potentially great players, all woeful underachievers. The entire team seems to be exactly what the Rockets aren’t and that is crazy athletic. I guess I’ll take what we have if that is what you get with athletes.

The Rockets are playing like a team and Yao is not F’ing around when he’s near the basket, he’s emphatically dunking it every chance he gets. I honestly think he’s sick of this crap about not being able to carry a team. He is even running the court and going after every lose ball. That could get him in trouble, but I still like it. If they keep letting Swift go over Yao’s back, I’m afraid Yao may punch him. Yao with 17, 8 and 2 blocks with 3:07 left in the third really seems to be playing well and doing it within the offense. Right after I typed that Yao gets called for a foul on a play where he wasn’t closer than a foot to Gasol the whole way. I’m not sure why I have to stress the fact that Yao does not bitch when he fouls or when he’s not fouled, why the hell do refs not get this? He also reacts pissed at himself when he does foul, so if in doubt, watch Yao’s reaction, he’ll tell you if he screwed up or not. Do I really have to start a letter writing campaign to the NBA???

The Rockets defense tonight is the best I’ve seen them play in weeks. The Grizz aren’t shooting terribly and they are trying as hard as they can. The Rockets are just stopping them. At the end of the third, the Rockets were up by 13, just need to keep it going for another 12 minutes.

Aaron Brooks is in the game to start the fourth; that warms my heart. As ugly as it is, his herky-jerky dribbling is awesome. He brings the ball up efficiently and quickly, it’s exactly what I want to see when he comes in. His defense is definitely lacking right now, but with his speed that can be brought around. His speed is his equalizer for his height, bigs can’t guard him to block his shot so he can go into the trees to penetrate.

This post wouldn’t be complete without talking about Luis Scola or Shane Battier; both are having complete games tonight, and playing good individual and team defense as well as playing well on offense. Scola looks like he should be the second banana at times on a team, I still think after the All Star break we are going to find our stride. It is up to a 20 point lead with 6:45 left in the game. They are using the shot clock and taking time off, I love the slow down, 4 to 5 pass till you find an opening offense when you have a big lead.

It’s nice to be back to blogging and I really enjoy keeping these as running game blogs. I like piecing them together from notes as well, but it always seems to flow better like this. Maybe it’s because I’m not a real writer, I’m something better, more refined for today’s day and age, a blogger if you will. Plus, I get to type and laugh at the same time at stuff like Bill Worrell commenting on Quagmire with something like: “It’s great to be ambidextrous, he likes to use either hand”. Unfortunately he followed it up by saying that it’s good for the Rockets that they are proving they can score without TMac. The problem with that is it can be good, but only if Tracy allows it to be. He has a tendency to try and show why he’s important after he comes back from being hurt. Regardless, I like 15+ point wins anytime they come. Hell, I like 1 point wins, I just like to win.

22 and 11 and 4 for Yao with 2:46 left, yes, he’s good. Just in case anyone was still wondering. His hustle and desire to play as a team is the defining aspect of this game. I love the guy. He’s not Hakeem (and people need to get over that) but he’s a hell of a good player and will easily go down as the best center of his era, that’s all you can ask of a guy. At the end of the game Stromile Swift was apparently trying to prove some crazy point, Yao dominated him on three straight possessions and proved his point wrong. I’m not exactly sure why people think he can’t play defense, it’s just absurd.

Great game by the Rockets, a 103-83 win. Game ball goes to the entire team. Check out this box score.

Six players in double figures and Hayes had 11 rebounds so I’m calling it 7. Towelie still sucks and Bonzi really does not have his shooting touch right now. I’m assuming it will come back since, unlike Towelie, he as had one in his career.

Great game Rockets, let’s keep it up. The Raptors are up tomorrow night, let’s make it two in a row!!

People That Piss Me Off (Week the Sixth)

It's the middle of the holiday season, so I'm supposed to be happy and all that, right?

Yeah... F that. Not with a 13-15 record and T-Mac scheduled to miss at least two games. McGrady is possibly returning to play against Golden State on New Year's Eve. Let's hope he chooses not to approach that game the Rex Grossman way. You, Tracy, are no Sex Cannon.

So, to make me feel slightly better and using this forum to rant and rave as usual, here's who pisses me off this week:

1. Peyton Manning

You see, Peyton - THIS is what you were supposed to be doing last weekend:

But, noooooooooooooo... you just had to play against the Texans in a game that meant nothing to you or your own team. Thanks. Look, I know you're the best QB. (Yeah, even better than that Brady guy.) I also know the Texans beat you last December and that probably made you mad. But, come on - Mario and the boys were soooo close to a winning record. You just had to tear their heart out. F'n grinch.

2. Sage Rosenfels

Dude, it's not all about Peyton. Maybe try to actually hit a WR in stride for once, and not throw it late and behind everyone. Just a thought. Or is this your way to rebel against the awesomeness that is Christmas?

3. Rafer

Because I feel like it and you've escaped my wrath for a few weeks now.

F U.

If we had a legit point guard I'm quite sure we wouldn't be 13-15. Your stats so far this season: 38.4% shooting (which matches your career average by the way), 9.3 ppg, 29.2% on three-pointers (even though you are open every freakin' time you shoot from there), and a so completely not surprising 59.4% from the free throw line. That is sad. You are a guard... who has made 19-32 free throws. You've played over twenty games and have slightly more than 1 FT attempt per game. And averaging less than one make per game. Good God you suck.

(caption: "I am confused. Why can't the new guy with the funky offensive system trade the spastic one who dribbles too much to Miami? Or just tell him the game got cancelled when it really didn't? I do not like Mr. Rafer.")

... and that's all for this week. On Monday I'll have an in-depth analysis of NBA resolutions for 2008 - also known as things the League needs to change ASAP.

Why Oh Why??

I'm about to write something that I don't believe I've said out loud more than 2-3 times in my lifetime: The Rockets suck.

I'd explain how I came to that conclusion, but if you have to have that explained to you then I'll have Tommy come hit you on the head with a tack hammer 'cause you're a retard.

What's worse is that I think they may actually be better WITHOUT Tracy McGrady for the first time since he's been here. He's acting like a baby on the court and not playing within the system. Why isn't he? Because the system won't net him 28PPG on 37% shooting, that's the best I can garner. TMac wants to shoot the ball repeatedly whenever he feels like it. He also doesn't want to pass unless he knows he's getting the ball back. Even on pick and rolls with Yao he won't toss the pass back to Yao when he gets double teamed, it's the number two leading factor in Yao not getting enough shots (Number one being no one can throw a Kenny Smith entry pass. Knock The Jet all you want, but he could toss a hell of an entry pass). Tracy, you are the first out of five reasons this team is losing. And it hurts me to say it. I own not one but TWO TMac jerseys, a red and a white, no one can accuse me of not being a fan. I love the guy on and off the court. I know he's had a tough time with the family lately, but that's because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants around other ladies. Which begs the question, why in the fuck would an NBA superstar get married? What's the point? Most of the women they marry would have been fine with staying together without it. Another thing, if I was in the NBA, it would take until right after my first pay check to get some of the boys frozen and then get a vasectomy. There you go, problem solved. I'm a freaking genius.

The second most important reason we are losing is that Yao is not getting enough touches. He should be the first option on every single non-fast break possession. Hell, I wouldn't be mad if they slowed the fast breaks down and gave it to Yao, I mean why not? We get what, 2 a game at most?? Poor entry passes, late passes and missed opportunities to pass the ball to Yao are killing us. He's the best center in the league, yet people are openly questioning that because his teammates (past Shane Battier) can't get him the ball.

Third, is the Rafer Alston "led" shooting entourage. This includes Battier, Stevie, Mike James (especially Mike James because he's supposed to be instant offense), and Luther Head. I only include Luther because I don't know if there has been a guy on the Rockets since Matt Maloney that had a harder time creating his own shot, even if he only averages like 2 minutes of playing time each game.

Fourth, Rafer Alston, he fucking sucks, read anything with the tag "Rafer Alston sucks" for more ammo in your automatic "Rafer Sucks" weapon. Every time I see Rafer it makes me go Waterboy "Rafer sucks, he really, really sucks!" and I can't help but thinking that Adelman is happier with him than the voices say he should be.

Fifth, Free Throw shooting is an absolute enigma on this team. Why can't they, standing still from 15 feet away, hit a free throw?? Hell if I know, but it's even effecting Yao, and it's pissing me off. Stop getting in Yao's head!! And Tracy, stop making excuses, you are a "professional" the crowd should not be effecting your free throw shooting much at all. I haven't picked up a basketball in 6 months, but I guarantee I can go out and hit 7 out of 10 without warming up. Why can't paid professionals do that? Shit if I know.

That being said, I've said it many times, it will take until after the All Star break for this team to gel, I just hope that TMac gels with it. I wasn't counting on him turning into a malcontent, so he needs to get his shit together