No, no, no!! My head is about to explode

The Rockets like who they have at point guard? Right now?!?

Did we make a trade I was unaware of???
No?


... because assault, drunk driving and all around sucktitude clearly isn't getting the message across!!

Hey, Rafer! You suck, ya jackass!

We are only 27 days from the start of the Houston Rockets' regular season (where we host Memphis at 7:30pm that Monday night). Which means we need to re-declare something:

RAFER ALSTON SUCKS!

Whew... that felt good!!
For some reason, I haven't felt compelled to say that in a while!

Why now? Maybe it's because John Hollinger agrees with me.

Biggest Weakness: Point guard
The Rockets have four-fifths of a championship starting lineup and a championship-caliber bench. Also, they have Alston. While he was better last year than in 2006-07, he's pretty clearly the weak link in an imposing starting five. Alston is a solid defender and dribbler, but he hasn't shot over 40 percent in four years and opponents feel free to gamble off of him to double Yao or McGrady. Finally, he's 32, an age when many quick guards start losing it.

You see, I'm not the only one who thinks knows he sucks...

Yes, I still say Rafer needs to be traded. The Rockets are going places this year, and I don't want drunky mucking everything up. I'll even risk the inevitable midnight threats from Rafer's mom -- Rafer sucks and we need to get value for him while we can.

Or, in other words... "don't pass to this guy, he sucks!"

YOU SUCK!

(note: anyone who thought I might have softened my stance on Rafer in the offseason clearly hasn't been paying attention...)

Rafer going on trial for DWI

So Rafer Alston is actually going to go through with the charade of a public trial for his DWI charge from back in August. Not only is he killing me slowly as a basketball player, now he's going to force Houston prosecutors to spend my freakin' tax dollars to prove that he was drunk.

yeah, yeah, I know - "innocent until proven guilty" and all that. I think they mentioned something along those lines in my criminal law class 8 years ago. And no, I was not sick the day they taught law at law school!

Nevertheless: a show of hands of anyone who thinks Rafer wasn't drinking and driving that night? Anyone? Anyone...? Bueller...??? Yeah, that's what I thought. I wasn't even there, but circumstantial evidence suggests that something was going on. Washington Avenue at *3*am. No headlights. And he had bloodshot eyes.

As for what the cops claim:

The officer said Alston had bloodshot eyes and the smell of alcohol on his breath. He said the basketball player was unsteady on his feet and had to grab
his car to balance himself.

Clearly Mr. Officer hasn't watched a Rockets game in a while. Alston being "unsteady on his feet" isn't exactly news to me!

Of course, Rafer hired Rusty Hardin. Who for some reason now seems to be the Texas version of Johnny Cochran.
Which means we can all see where Mr. Hardin's cross examination is going......... "Rafer Alston's driver's license says he's a resident of Toronto! Canadia! Why would he be driving at 3am in Houston in August?? Now that does not make sense!!"


... and Rafer will somehow be found innocent.

Rafer is compounding his mistakes

So... Rafer "apologized" for his DWI arrest today.

here's his actual apology:

"On behalf of Mr. Alston, he wishes to apologize to the Rockets and the fans... He never intended for this to happen. He is looking forward to putting this behind him."

Mistake #1 - hiring Rusty Hardin's firm to represent you. After the Roger Clemens debacle, hiring Rusty just makes you look guilty. And unlike hiring Johnny Cochran, you don't get the option of "I'd rather look guilty at the mall" here (thank you, Chris Rock). Then again, that leads us into Mistake #2..

Mistake #2 - why the hell are you apologizing? Step 1 should be to deny everything. Step 3 is to profit. I thought this was common knowledge by now?!?

Or, put it another way, you should have used the Bundy Credo!!!
(no, not the one about "hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum" - I meant the other Bundy Credo!)

"lie... sell shoes ...and lie!"

Then again, you are driving around Houston with a Canadian driver's license? And you still list your residence as Toronto, Canada? Wow - maybe you and I both agree that you should be run out of Houston?!? We may finally have found some common ground here!

This is my favorite part though:

"The officer described Alston as being belligerent and combative."

Ya don't say? If only you were belligerent and combative in the playoffs, then I wouldn't be asking the Rockets to trade your sorry, drunken ass.