Vote or die... or get finger wagged

I can't believe I didn't post this earlier, but Skeets over at Yahoo has a most abstract version of March Madness for the NBA.

... and Dikembe and his trademark finger wag made the Final Four.

(Granted, the cookie monster defeated the "Rockets 22 game win streak" in the Elite 8, so I'm not exactly completely happy with this result, but, it's still something, right?)

Anyway - go vote for Deke!

Here.

Rockets - things I never want to see again. Ever.

We won. #50. Yes, 50. 14 of them without Yao. Hey, I told you we would win 50!

Now, while we did manage to beat Portland last night... I never, ever, ever want to see this again:


Luis Scola only got 2 FG attempts? No FT attempts? And he was shutout? With 5 fouls to go with it? This is unacceptable!! Luis should never, ever, ever get outscored by Chuck freakin' Hayes. There is no excuse for this! Give Scola the ball!!!!!!!

Shane Battier is the DPOY - here's proof!

Shane Battier is the Defensive Player of the Year for 2008.

There are no other legitimate candidates.

Oh, sure, someone will name drop Marcus Camby, or Ron Artest, or maybe even Kevin Garnett. And I'd give someone the time of day if they made a case for Garnett, but not for anyone else. And I mean anyone.

See, Shane's statistics are not going to blow you away. He averages only 5.1 rebounds a game (3.4 defensive). He only gets 1 steal a game on average. And while he's #2 on the Rockets in blocked shots, he only blocks 1.2 per game. Translation? You aren't going to see Shane doing any finger wags to the crowd anytime soon.

My point, however, is this -- since when have individual statistics ever defined good defense?

I've taken the time to put together a chart of the NBA's leading scorers and compared how they did against the Rockets (and by extension, Shane). I've also included their FG% against the Rockets, because the Rockets let you get your points, but you gotta take a lot of shots to get there.

The results... well, see for yourself:

(... sorry about the bad graphic, it was the best I could do to get all those names and numbers in one place. But anyway, back to the point.)

All stats pulled from http://www.basketball-reference.com/.

We all know that Shane's job is "guard the other team's best player" so long as it's not a center (Dwight Howard) or super-quick point guard (CP3). The * next to the player's name indicates that this is a player Battier is likely to match up with defensively. On the chart there are 21 players on this list that qualify as such: LeBron, Kobe, Carmelo, Kevin Martin, Michael Redd, Richard Jefferson, Maggette, Joe Johnson, Antawn Jamison (when Tuff Juice is hurt), Jason Richardson, Jamal Crawford, Stephen Jackson, Josh Howard, Rudy Gay, Manu Ginobili, Durant, Pierce, Iguodala, Turkoglu, Brandon Roy and Ben Gordon.

Things you will notice from this list:

(1) Only two players of the 21 shot better than 50% from the field against Shane - Corey Maggette and Paul Pierce. Maggette did not take very many shots though in that one game (13) and still was more than a point below his season average. Pierce is pretty good, so I am not surprised he shot over 50%, but he never "went off" in either of the two games.

(2) The highest average against Shane was Kobe, with 33.0 ppg. Of course, that is heavily tilted by the 45 point game to open the season. But we can't ignore that game. On the flip side was the nationally televised game where Shane held Kobe to 24 points on 11 for 33 shooting. I would think it's safe to say Shane got even. Oh, yeah, the Rockets won both games, too.

(3) Of these 21 players... exactly FIVE (5) met or exceeded their season averages against Shane. Granted, the most anyone played against him was 4 games so it is by no means a strong statistical sample size, but over 75% of the players on the list did not reach their season averages against Shane. Including that LeBron guy.

(4) Shane really really makes an effort to stop Rudy Gay. Then again, they were traded for each other, so that should be expected.

(5) Think about that again, the HIGHEST average was 33.0... and that was by the same guy who was the only person to go for 40 against Shane. Kobe. That Kobe guy is kinda good. And even he shot below 40% against Shane this year.

Not only does Shane routinely hold you below your season average, but your shooting percentage is likely to take a hit in the process. You would think that a random fluke player might drop 35 a couple times on Shane and also shoot over 50% in the process. But it just does not happen. With anyone. At least not in 2007/2008.

Big or small, quick or strong... Shane keeps you in check. And with a hand in your face.

Battier's defense is so good that defense he played a year ago is still having an effect on individual players this year! (Dwyane Wade and his bum shoulder agree - do not try to score on Shane. You will pay! Bitch about calls? Shane will send you off the court crying for a wheelchair. Wade has never been the same since.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with your 2008 Defensive Player of the Year:
Shane Battier

Rockets vs. Trailblazers - The Finale

The Rockets travel to Portland to take on the Trailblazers tonight at the Rose Garden at 9:30PM CST. I would like to respectfully say FU to the NBA and to MLB for having so many West Coast games on with the Rockets and Astros. I've been sick and staying up to watch the games sure hasn't helped me get over it.

Portland Trailblazers: 38-37 (25-11 at home) 4-6 in their last 10

Houston Rockets: 49-25 (21-15 on the road) 5-5 in their last 10

Admit it, if I told you in January that the Rockets would win 50 this year you would have thought I was smoking some serious Whitney Houston style crack (I don't care what she told Barbara, she smoked crack). With a win tonight the Rockets would be 50-25, also known as 25 games over .500 with only 7 games remaining. It would also further their lead over Utah. My dream situation is playing Utah or LA in the first round with home court advantage but the lower seed. That would be perfect to me. LA because I honestly think we would beat them, and we'd win at least 1 at their place. And Utah because I so very much hate Utah and want revenge from last year and I believe Tracy would do everything he could to win that series.

On Tuesday we lost a game that we could have won. I say could have and not should have, because the Kings played really well. As usual Artest smoked the Rockets and Kevin Martin played as well as I've ever seen him play. With the way the game was "refereed" it was going to be the team that got F'd the least late that won and the Kings made a couple of plays at the end that did that for them. Dave has already talked about how pathetic the game was ref'd so I will leave it alone, but it was sad.

Houston has won all three meetings this year with Portland by 9, 10 and 12 respectively. Brandon Roy looks to be out again and that should tip the game even further in the Rockets favor, no one for Rafer to piss off with his trash talking that can actually do any damage at the point. I like the Rockets to turn it around like they did after the Philly debacle. Put the loss behind us and start a roll going into the playoffs. Let's go Rockets!!!

Hey, Coach, I'm open! Over here!!!

He's open. Trust me.

Next! We got next!

Portland is on the schedule for tomorrow night. In Portland.

Things we need to accomplish during this game:

1. Realize that the Rockets are going nowhere if Tracy McGrady shoots 31 times a game. Especially if he only makes 12. Who does he think he is... Rafer?

2. Pass the ball to Scola. 20 points last night, but he only got 9 shots. Nine. Scola should be shooting more than Rafer. I think we can all agree on this.

3. Do NOT pass the ball to Chuck. Luther Head actually passed the ball to Chuck on a break 20 feet from the basket last night. Luther... and Rafer/Bobby and Aaron... do not pass to Chuck. Chuck is to layups what Dante Hicks is to hockey on the roof. Don't pass to this guy - he sucks. (Chuck is great at pretty much everything else though.)

4. Either use Carl Landry or don't. If he's not healthy, rest him. If he's healthy, freakin' play him! You don't limit guys with a 24 PER to 10-15 minutes a game. You exploit this!

5. Get back to playing defense. Last night the Kings shot 51% from the field. 51%! Artest had 7 open looks for 3s and he hit four of them. NBA players make open shots. Our defensive intensity died in that Boston game it appears. Except for Shane. He's still DPOY.

6. Wag the finger. Fuck Scott Wall - keep wagging the finger, Dikembe!

7. Play Mike Harris. I realize we are pushing towards the playoffs, but if our starters are all averaging over 40 minutes per game, we aren't going to have anything left once the playoffs do start. Mike Harris is an energy guy who hustles, rebounds and plays defense. But he's been glued to the bench the last 6-7 games.

8. Make free throws. Not that I should ever have to repeat this, but the Rockets still only shoot 72% from the FT line this year. That's just not going to cut it in close games in May. Especially since the 72% figure is much, much lower if we remove Yao from the equation. Sadly there are only TWO players on our active roster that shoot over 80%. Luther Head and Aaron Brooks. And they don't exactly shoot lots of free throws.

9. Find that extra gear. During the Streak, the Rockets never let teams stay in the game. We'd get the slightest lead in the 2nd quarter and Landry, Bobby, Luther, Novak, Harris and the gang would extend the lead into double figures. Our biggest lead against Sacramento? 6 freakin' points. Crush the opponents' spirit, guys.

10. Get angry. The critics are ready to engrave your tombstone, guys. Some even suggest you might not even make the playoffs now! We know this isn't true, but you must quit giving people ammunition to critique and question. Seek and destroy!

"First one to fall down gets the call!"

Matt Bullard had the right idea. The only way to win tonight was to be the first player to fall down. Now, I know the Kings were on the wrong side of the worst officiated game of the last 20 years (Game 6 of 2002 Western Conference Finals versus Lakers), but tonight was almost as bad.

There are three ways to referee a basketball game:

1. Let them play. I tend to like this - the better players don't need to be coddled and those that want to play actual defense do not fear ticky tack fouls. Aggression tends to win here.

2. Call it tight. In certain games, I understand this as well. You can't let a game get out of control. So, you call a couple tight fouls early on to informally announce to the players that it will not be a wrestling match. Your calls just have to be consistent.

3. Completely fuck the whole thing up.

The referees tonight opted for Option #3. Now, I'm not saying they were "in favor" of the Kings or anyone. No - the Kings got it just as bad as the Rockets. Brad Miller's ejection was complete horseshit. Moore got dinged for two offensive fouls that were phantom at best.

I think Scott Wall (the white referee who wasn't Joe Forte) just didn't want to be there tonight. He never blew the whistle early on. Except to call the Ts on Miller.

They even called a T on Dikembe for doing his trademark finger wag... even though Dikembe has direct permission from Godfather Stern himself to wag that finger!!!! What did he need tonight? A fucking court order? Apparently so!

Yes, it was that bad, the referees even ignored the directions of the Commissioner.

Poor Carl Landry wasn't even allowed to play tonight. Set a pick? Foul. Get position on defense? Foul. Get run over by Kevin Martin? Sit your ass down for your 5th foul!

McGrady went o-for whatever he shot in the fourth quarter, even though he was hacked on everything. Including the last second shot. It's hard to make a 15 foot jump shot as the meat in a Kings sandwich. Real hard.

The worst call of the night brought back memories of Yao and the Golden State game from December... Chuck Hayes was positioned solidly for 2 full seconds. Maybe longer. He did not move. He did not extend his arms. He did not shift his feet or even breathe. Rafer took the pick, made the shot.............. but it was waved off because apparently picks were illegal tonight. Garcia fell down when he ran into Hayes, and Joe Forte called a pity foul. Words cannot describe how bad Forte fucked up that call.

This was a game of two halves. The first half was a "let 'em play, we are too tired to blow the whistle tonight." Second half? Different story. Players were adjusted to a more physical game, only to have the rug pulled out from under them. 53 total fouls called in this game. 5 each on Battier, Hayes and Landry. Scola "only" had 4. Mikki Moore had 5 for the Kings. Ron Artest? He who fouls more than anyone in the NBA? Only 3 fouls. Un-be-fucking-lievable.

Rockets could not afford to lose tonight. Refs didn't give a shit.

Now - the Rockets did not lose because of the referees. The inconsistent calls just put T-Mac and Rafer on tilt... and we couldn't close out the game.

Two questions I would like answered though. (1) There is one minute left in the game and the Rockets are down by 1. The play? An isolation for Chuck Hayes. Who takes a left-handed hook shot that naturally misses. Chuck Hayes was our best option!??! (2) With 35 seconds left, Rafer decides to win the game by tossing the ball off the backboard to himself. Not surprisingly, it leads to a jump ball against a much taller man. What. The. Fuck?

Final score? Kings 99, Rockets not enough. Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

New gameplan: Give Luis Scola the damn ball.

April Fool's explained...

Yes, yes, I know it was kind of mean to insinuate that Yao would return for the playoffs.

But my "joke" served two purposes. (1) It was a damn fine April Fool's joke; and (2) It reinforces my belief that while I would love to have Yao ready and available in May, it is not going to happen -- but the Rockets are still going to be okay. Not ideal, but we'll be okay.

There will be no gloom and doom attitudes on this here blog about the Rockets' playoff chances. We can definitely make some noise in the West. Unless T-Mac also decides to shut it down. Then we'd be relying on Luis Landry and Rafer. Tough task.

And next year? When Yao comes back?
Oh, hell yeah - the Rockets are going to kick ass!

Rockets try to show who the real King is

The Rockets take on the Sacramento Kings tonight at Arco arena at 9PM CST in Sacramento. Rick Adelman gets another chance to put it to the team that let him go for no good reason. The last time in California the Rockets were beaten and they had no excuse to lose to that Kings team just like they have no excuse to lose to the Kings team that comes out on the floor tonight.

Sacramento Kings: 33-40 (22-14 at home) 5-5 in their last 10

Houston Rockets: 49-24 (21-14 on the road) 6-4 in their last 10

What's my prediction? Win number 50 on the season and win 1 of 9 in a row to end the season.

And starting tomorrow I should be back with a vengeance. I got sick over the weekend (and not from watching the Horns play Sunday, but that didn't help). Also look for me over at WarningTrackPower blogging about the Astros.

Oh hell yes! Yao to return for Playoffs!!!

It's about damn time the Rockets got some good news!
(we can't live off the Streak forever...)

YAO MING IS COMING BACK FOR THE PLAYOFFS!

It's true! ESPN says it, so it must be!

YES! I knew he couldn't resist coming back to help the Rockets!
Everyone is now in big, big trouble!

Time to get angry again, Big Man!

What's that?
Is that Shaq's fat ass causing tremors from his nervous twitching at this news?

I think it is!

And look at that -- T-Mac is so happy he might cry!

First an NBA Championship... then Olympic Silver (sorry, Yao, but I can't root for you to win the gold there... U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!)

Bring on the playoffs, bitches.
We are ready for the Western Conference now!

Really.