50% of Yao ... still better than everyone else

I have returned!

The Great Wall has returned, too. Sort of.


Yao Ming scored 21 points in a warm-up game yesterday. And he did it in only 28 minutes. And he also did it on only 10 shots (are you taking notes, Mr. Donte Greene? You don't have to take 30 shots to get 20 points!!). And he made his free throws (are you taking notes, Mr. Joey Dorsey? No? Well, at least get the stripper to take notes *for you*!).

It's good to have the big fella back. Yes, from everything I have read, he looked rusty and slow and not anywhere near good game shape. And the game was against Angola, who once again did not bring spears with them. Yeah, yeah, that was a terrible joke - and only Charles Barkley can get away with it. I still thought it was funny. Even 12 years later.

Anyway, within that first link, you'll also see that the other resident Rocket badass, Luis Scola, had 23 points to lead Argentina past Iran.

Wait, what? Iran has a basketball team?? Uhhh, okay.

Back to the point though...

Yao is back. And somewhat healthy. At least healthy enough to walk around and make 80% of his shots. I'll take that.

Meanwhile, T-Mac is moping around town talking about "winning" to Stephen A. Smith. Why would you direct complaints to SAS? All he's going to do is twist your words around and yell about it on ESPN or whatever journalistic medium was most recently dumb enough to give him a forum. Furthermore, if you want to win so bad - why would you be so eager to get traded to the freakin' Detroit Pistons? 2004 was a long time ago, dude. That team is old and slow now. And they just signed 2001 Draft Bust Kwame Brown (that's his full name now, by the way). Not to mention they have a rookie coach trying to keep Rasheed in check. Good luck with that.

Teams that are not winning next year include Detroit... apologies to my Pistons fan friends. But not too much of an apology - you guys did distract Shaq enough to win four years ago.

I do think it's funny to see that things have not changed much in the last year. To recap:


1. Yao Ming is a badass.
2. Luis Scola is a badass, too.
3. Tracy McGrady remains the Cowardly Lion.

Oh, and Stephen A. Smith?? FOAD.

The Best of the Dream Shake (2007-2008)

Lee and I continue to struggle with the concept that the Rockets' epic 2007/2008 season is over. We have to wait until October to see resident badasses Yao Ming and Luis Scola take the floor as teammates again. That's a long wait. On the flip side, there are now fewer opportunities to bitch about Rafer sucking, Tracy taking too many 3s or how much we hate the Utah Jazz. Well, actually, we can still bitch about Utah. And... we will.

Because of this... and because we are completely devoid of original ideas at the moment... we now present you with the "Best of the Dream Shake (2007-2008)" - or essentially what we considered to be our best or favorite things we wrote in the past 6 months. Yes, I know that Best Of lists and "Greatest Hits" collections tend to suck. But these are the things we wrote that sucked the least. And they are (in no particular order):

10 Things I Hate about the Utah Jazz.
Of course I'm leading off with this.

Why I hate the Utah Jazz.
Yes, we like to repeat ourselves. For emphasis.

Reminiscing with Yao and YouTube.
YouTube clips... because we are lazy.

Petition to Remove Rafer.
The very first post. The reason this blog exists.

The Rockets and Married... with Children.
Because Al Bundy and Tracy are way too much alike.

Time for an 80's Mid-Season Review.
80s Movies and awards... before the Rockets got good.

Inconceivable! Rockets/Kings (Game 8 of the Streak).
Because Steve Novak, for one night, was the Man in Black.

Major Mistakes and How You Correct Them.
Also known as Lee predicting The Streak. Yes, really.

Shane Battier Knows White People.
Because Shane is the whitest man alive.

Gratuitous Post Du Jour.
The Rockets and Family Guy.

You've all been naughty, but.......
Christmas gifts for the (then underachieving) Rockets.

These were our favorite posts to write, read, re-read and shamelessly beg other blogs to link to. I think it worked out in the end. So, commenters, were there any that I should have included above???

And yes, dear readers, prepare for more zaniness and completely off-the-wall entries from us once our hangovers subside and we try to get through the long offseason. The 2009 Rockets are going to kick ass.

Requiem for an Awesome Season. Really.

Tracy, Luis, Shane and the gang are now officially in offseason mode. We will hopefully get to see Yao perform in the Olympics in a couple months. Other than that, the Houston Rockets are mostly dormant until next October.

Now that my hangover has mostly subsided, I can properly look back on the 2007/2008 Houston Rockets season for what it was. And the correct answer is "amazing." Yes, the NBA... where amazing happens. Yes, the Rockets lost in the first round again. Yes, it was to Utah again. Yes, I still really, really hate the Utah Jazz. Yes, Tracy McGrady still has to contend with the criticism that he's not a clutch performer (and I'm not straying from that belief myself just yet). None of this defines the '07/'08 Houston Rockets, however.

The team started out 6-1 with a new coach and a new offensive system. (This blog started the next day.)

Immediately thereafter, the team struggled and was below .500 in the insanely competitive Western Conference in mid-December. Most everyone gave up on Houston. Called them "disappointments" and "failures" and I think they even made John Hollinger cry.

Then a great thing happened - this team learned how to play basketball the right way. Yao and Tracy took over, but now they had help from Shane Battier on the defensive end, boosts of energy from Luis Scola and Carl Landry and Aaron Brooks. Rafer Alston even managed to have an out-of-body experience and shoot over 40% from January though March. (Which was even more surprising given how much Rafer sucked in November and December.) McGrady had his annual sabbatical due to "injury" - and again everyone thought the Rockets were done. Yet they started winning. And then continued to win. And then everyone noticed that they weren't just winning, but winning as a team. When McGrady returned to the lineup, he finally bought into the new offensive scheme - and things just took off!

On Tuesday, January 29th, the Houston Rockets beat the Golden State Warriors. The Rockets did not lose again until Tuesday, March 18th. 22 consecutive wins. In a row. This included victories over such playoffs teams as New Orleans, Los Angeles, Denver, Cleveland, Dallas, and Washington.

On February 26th, the Rockets got the news that Yao Ming would miss the rest of the season with a stress fracture in his foot. Again, everyone gave up on Houston. Once again, Houston found new ways to win -- another 10 in a row.

An injury depleted roster finished with 55 wins in the most competitive and cut-throat Western Conference in history. The Rockets even scrambled to have home-court advantage in the playoffs. That was impressive in its own right. Granted, home-court advantage disappeared almost immediately... but I'm going to try to keep a positive outlook on this. I mean, at least I wasn't a Miami Heat fan this year!

The best part is that the Rockets look loaded next year. They are due for a truly healthy Yao/Tracy combination. Scola is going to average 16 and 10 next year. Just watch. Luther Head might get sent packing (he just has to go). Aaron Brooks may be ready to be the full-time backup PG. The draft might bring us an athletic swingman. That's really the only thing the Rockets are missing -- an athletic 2/3 position player who can slash and create his own shot. Gerald Green could have been that player, but he has a 10 cent head. Maybe the Rockets can find the next Kevin Martin or Monta Ellis or someone like that late in the draft this year? I trust Daryl Morey...

and Yao Ming is going to come back angry!

I guess the conclusion is that while it really hurt to be a Rockets fan on Friday night, the long-term outlook is quite bright.

Go Rockets! 2009 is going to kick ass!

edit: Hey, Jason Friedman, stop stealing my headlines!!!