Since the Rockets have played like a bad 80s movie this year, I thought it only fitting to give out some awards that were created from some of my favorite moments/characters of the decade:
The Daniel LaRussa Award: For kicking ass when few give him any chance, even when he proves over and over that he’s “The Best Around”: Yao Ming, though he's busy practicing so he is unable to attend.

The Officer John McClane "yippe-kay-a mofo" Award: For being a complete bad ass: Yao Ming (Note: This is Yao's second award, he is really cleaning up)

The Ferris Bueller Lazy Man of the First Half Award: "I feel like taking the day off and everyone but a select few like my sister will still love me": Tracy McGrady

The Sloth Award: Goonies is one of my favorite movies and sloth is one of the all time greatest side kicks. He's there in the clutch at the end and always seems to make a difference when you least expect it: Shane Battier


The Darth Vader in Jedi Award: A "Beautiful black visage removed to reveal a feeble, crusty old white man": Shane Battier

The Gopher from Caddyshack Award: For being scrappy, resourceful, having the ability to annoy the shit out of other players, for being just plain bad ass and you could see singing “I’m Alright, Don’t Nobody Worry ‘Bout Me”: Luis Scola

The Jimmy Edwards Wizard Award: While short and young, Jimmy Edwards dazzled when no one thought he could do it. Against all odds/playing for Oregon and somehow not knocking up a cheerleader, he rode to the top: Aaron Brooks

The Mogwai Award: You think, what harm can it do, until you realize little things like it's name meaning Evil Spirit in Cantonese/has a history of being a fuck-up, it can't go near bright light/make layups, can't take a bath/hit three pointers and can't eat after midnight/not turn the ball over at crucial times: Rafer Alston

The Howard the Duck Award: Lots of hype as it was made by LucasFilm, unfortunately only had one good aspect, Lea Thompson/shooting while not being guarded, it bombed in every other way though/can't dribble, throw an entry pass: Luther Head


The Tom Cruise in The Outsiders Award: For the guy who you think looking back; "How the hell did he end up being the biggest star of that group and we didn't realize it right away"? : Carl Landry

The Goose Award: For the guy who is a fantastic sidekick and is always there keeping his friend loose/laughing on the bench. A guy who you will be really be sad to see go: Dikembe Mutumbo

The Doc Brown Award: This is given to the craziest guy around, a guy who you aren't quite sure about until it all comes together in a time machine made out of a Delorean/champion: Daryl Morey



Aaron Brooks gets the Ewok award - he's a loveable midget. Who turned around a situation that at first seemed unwinnable.
ReplyDeleteGreat post man, love it. And I'll have you know Howard the Duck and Leonard Part 6 are my two favorite movies of all time.
ReplyDeleteSo who gets the Leonard Part 6 award for hypnotizing small animals to do their every bidding? That'd have to be Adelman too, I assume.
I just realized, you left out my favorite suggestion:
ReplyDeletethe Indiana Jones "no time for love Dr. Jones!!" award: Yao Ming, for getting married this summer and then having the audacity of not wanting to show up for practice the next day.