The Dream Shake - a Houston Rockets blog

Time to switch your bookmarks!!

2008-10-23T11:42:00.001-05:00

If you are seeing this... well, you probably have the wrong link.

We are now at www.thedreamshake.com -- adjust your bookmarks accordingly!

Voting for best blogs (Houston Rockets and others)

2008-10-21T14:54:00.002-05:00

Daniel with LA Ball Talk has put together a poll/voting contest to determine what is the best (or at least most popular) blog for each team in the NBA. We have been nominated for best Houston Rockets blog along with Red Rowdies and Clutch Fans. Even though Red Rowdies is dormant and Clutch Fans isn't really a "blog" per se.

Please go VOTE HERE to inflate our egos even more!

Central Division Blogger Previews

2008-10-17T14:35:00.003-05:00

Chicago Bulls
Nels: Give Me The Rock
Matt: Blog-a-Bull

Cleveland Cavaliers
Rock: Waiting For Next Year
FTS: Fear The Sword
David Friedman: 20 Second Timeout
Amar Panchmatia: Cavalier Attitude

Detroit Pistons
Brian Spencer: Empty the Bench
Natalie Sitto: Need4Sheed.com
Matt Watson: Detroit Bad Boys

Indiana Pacers
Tom: Indy Cornrows

Milwaukee Bucks
Jeramey Jannene: The Bratwurst
Frank Madden: BrewHoop

Announcement! An update!

2008-10-15T09:34:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago... okay a long time ago we tipped everyone off to the fact that we are moving this blog over to SBNation.

Well, the time is almost near.

Within the next 7-10 days we should be active over at SBNation. No need to change your links or anything - just be aware that things are going to look a lot different at the new location. It will still be us, and we'll still be writing about the same things as before. We certainly aren't selling out to be "real" or "professional" journalists now. F that!

It's called the "preseason" for a reason!!!

2008-10-14T09:07:00.003-05:00

The Rockets lost to the Durants last night. Yeah, yeah I know - the Durants suck. A lot. But then again, it did not count for anything!! That's the beauty of the preseason: it is the one time in basketball where the final score does not matter. At all.

And yet....

the Chronicle has a headline talking about the Rockets being "unwatchable" in the preseason. Yes, really. I have no idea why. If the goal was to win, I can guarantee that Joey Dorsey wouldn't get much playing time. Certainly not 24 minutes worth.

I mean, seriously, Von Wafer was in the starting lineup. Von Wafer!!! That right there should be a signal that the Rockets care not about your entertainment value in a preseason game. And they should not care about us (yet). Now is the time to see who can make the *final* roster spot - not who is worthy of a starting spot. That is how you lose to the Durants by 6. That's about the only way the Rockets could lose to them.

Now, Mr. Feigen, I typically like what you write - but this was unnecessary. If there is ever reason to worry about the Houston Rockets, it won't happen until after October 29th. Unless Yao Ming gets injured... or Rafer gets cloned. Or something like that.

For what it's worth though - Yao had 16 rebounds in 24 minutes. Yeah, he's a badass!

Southwest Division Previews

2008-10-11T07:29:00.002-05:00

To go along with our preview over at CelticsBlog, the rest of the Southwest Division previews are as follows:

Southwest
Dallas Mavericks - Mavs Moneyball
Memphis Grizzlies - 3 Shades of Blue
New Orleans Hornets - Hornets 24/7, AtTheHive, and Hornets Hype
San Antonio Spurs - 48 Minutes of Hell

Seriously, the Hornets have a plethora of good blogs, Mavs Moneyball is always great, even when we disagree, 3 Shades of Blue somehow finds things to talk about the Grizzlies on a daily basis, 48 Minutes of Hell puts together a great site to go with a fantastic name.

Also, Dave and I will be at the March 16th Hornets game in New Orleans, you know if any of us still have jobs then thanks to this economy.

Comments on the Rockets from Deadspin

2008-10-10T12:27:00.004-05:00

Yes, I know, Deadspin isn't nearly as good as it was before Will Leitch left... it's disappointing on many levels most days now.

That said, they did post a season preview of the Houston Rockets today.

Using Brent Barry as the representative picture (!?!?!?). Odd.

10 things Rafer sucks less than

2008-10-09T17:32:00.004-05:00

I've been informed by many people that maybe - just maybe - I am being too harsh on Rafer Alston. He did after all start a majority of games for a team that won 55 games last year, and he was a big part of the Streak. He also had that memorable game against the Lakers, which just so happened to be the one day ever recorded when I actually encouraged him to shoot the ball.

So, on that note, here is a list of 10 people or things that suck more than Rafer Alston:

1. The English Patient
2. the 1990s version of Jenna Jameson
3. the Utah Jazz
4. J.R. Towles (that bastard owes me $20)
5. Sage Rosenfels in the 4th Q on 10/4/2008
6. Limp Bizkit
7. Pearl Jam's Vs. CD
8. New Coke
9. John Travolta
10. Hurricane Ike

feel free to add to the list in the comments...

No, no, no!! My head is about to explode

2008-10-09T10:12:00.006-05:00

The Rockets like who they have at point guard? Right now?!?

Did we make a trade I was unaware of???
No?

... because assault, drunk driving and all around sucktitude clearly isn't getting the message across!!

Rockets preview on SI.com

2008-10-08T10:35:00.003-05:00

The 2008/09 Houston Rockets preview has been posted on Sports Illustrated -- well, more specifically SI.com, but it's all the same these days, right?

Here it is for your enjoyment.

And yes, that little sidebar on the page was written by yours truly. That was fun to write, but limiting myself to 200 words was difficult!

I expect to win... with flair!

2008-10-07T12:36:00.003-05:00

In the midst of all the season previews, there is one prevailing theme: the Houston Rockets are going to be very, very interesting this year. Win or lose, this team now has personality.

A year ago, the roster was rather bland. People were mostly unfamiliar with Scola; Tracy and Yao were not exactly Agent Zero level personalities; Chuck Hayes was good, but bland (okay, he's still kinda bland which only amazes me more that he's got a Chinese shoe contract); Rafer not only sucked but was uninteresting in the process. And the only player with personality on the bench was Dikembe. Who didn't play much. Bonzi Wells was the most boring crazy person ever...

but something changed.

Now we have Crazy Pills.
We have a white dude who also used to be a Slam Dunk Champ.
We have a rookie that may or may not be addicted to strip clubs.
Alston at least is now interesting when he f--ks up.
Yao is engaging in beer drinking competitions.

Yes -- you read that right. Yao... beer... how freakin' awesome is that?!?!?

One thing I know - I will never lack for material this year.

NBA Blogger Previews: Your Houston Rockets!

2008-10-07T09:10:00.006-05:00

Today is the Southwest Division bloggers entry day, and we were honored to represent the Houston Rockets.

Team Name: THE Houston Rockets
Last Years Record: 55-27
Key Losses: Bobby Jackson and maybe Dikembe Mutombo
Key Additions: Ron “No Lay-ups, Crazy Pills, Ron Ron” Artest

1. What significant moves were made during the off-season?
Steve Novak leaving this team will come back to haunt it. I have no idea how Daryl Morey can sleep at night knowing that he traded away the next Reggie Miller. Novak could average 30 in this league, you know, if he was always left open, didn’t have to create his own shot and was allowed to not play defense. It’s unfathomable to me that we could let that kind of player go for nothing but a pick swap!

I guess Ron Artest coming to the Rockets for Bobby Jackson, a rookie and a sure thing NBA first round bust next year is big news, but I just don’t see it. That guy can’t even shoot 60% or play defense for 49 minutes on average a game. Wait, just a second, my sources are telling me that he actually is pretty good.

The Artest trade will go down as one of the biggest steals in NBA history if you ask me, and since you did, that’s my stance. Even if Greene turns out to be a solid player, we got a top 30 player for a rookie, an old PG and a future very late round pick (I can only assume). That’s a steal as long as Ron Ron can play more like No Lay-ups and less like Crazy Pills. I believe he can. I don’t think anyone who has paid attention to the man thinks he is stupid, and this is a contract year. He will be playing to stay on the best team he’s ever been a part of. That’s right; it’s a step above the Pacers team that was ruined after the brawl. There are two players on this team better than anyone on that Pacers team, and Ron was the second best player on that team behind O’Neal. Plus, I love crazy on my team, just one guy can be crazy, but I really think you need that one guy.

2. What are the team's biggest strengths?

Defense – JVG installed a philosophy with this team and the greatest coaching move Rick Adelman could have made was to reinforce that philosophy. There are a couple of teams equal to the Rockets on the defensive end, but none of them are better, that’s not conjecture, that’s a fact. When you go down the lane, you won’t enjoy it, when you shoot a 3 pointer, someone will be in your face, and when you try to take your man one on one, someone will come around with the help defense. It’s the best part of our game, and it’s generally infallible no matter how poorly we play on the offensive end in a given game. We rarely get outplayed by a good offense and that is a testament to what JVG put in and to how good a coach Adelman is to not try and fix what wasn’t broken.

Coaching – I truly believe Rick Adelman is a fantastic coach. That’s not to say that JVG wasn’t, I still have a mad man crush on that guy’s basketball knowledge. But JVG getting a raw deal doesn’t change the fact that Adelman was a fantastic hire, that the offense got better throughout the year and was rolling when Yao went down, and that his staff is solid to very good.

Ugly Free Throws – No team in the league can boast a worse free throw shooter than Chuck Hayes or a center that shoots their technicals like Yao Ming. That means that 1. There are a lot of bad free throw shooters on the team and 2. Yao is one of the best centers at the stripe of all time. Watching Chuck shoot free throws is one of the guiltiest pleasures around, you know, provided it’s in a blow-out and the Rockets don’t actually need them to go in the basket.

3. What are the team's biggest weaknesses?

Offensive Consistency – Last year, with players in and out of the lineup, the Rockets could not keep things straight on the offensive end. If Rafer was having his 1 good game out of every 4 games, then the Rockets were likely to win. If Yao was playing and the others around him fed him the ball, we were likely to win. If Tracy was playing defense and turning it into transition points or magically hitting the 20 foot jumper, we were likely to win. All of those things were hit or miss though, and that’s what needs to change. I think that this will be fixed with the arrival of Artest, but it does mean that Bobby Jackson can’t come in to calm the team down when Rafer is not playing well. In all, the team’s consistency on offense will hinge on two things: 1. Can Rafer play as well as he did last year and improve on his decision making and 2. Can Ron Artest keep it together and fill in the gaps on offense. I think 2 is almost a certainty and the jury is out on 1. I really want good things from Rafer, but fool me once…

Injuries – It is very clear that Yao going down for the season ruined any chance of the Rockets getting out of the first round. That didn’t stop them from trying and putting up a fight, but it was not one they could win. McGrady goes down every year for some time and even Alston hurt the team by being out with an ankle injury in the playoffs. If the Rockets are injury free for the entire year, I will personally guarantee a championship. The issue at hand is that it is very unlikely for that to be true. I am hoping that they can limit them, that Yao’s injuries are just flukes and that McGrady can continue to play through the ailments that he has. The addition of Artest means that if TMac goes down then the Rockets can be okay for short stretches, and it means the same thing for Battier. With Shane already fighting an injury before the season has even started, Artest is going to need to be counted on to step in right away. A full preseason slate should help with that. I also think that clears the argument about which one of them will start.

4. What are the goals for this team?

Win the Championship this year; it can not be any simpler. Artest only has this year left on his contract and there are no guarantees after that about the team. Tracy isn’t getting younger and only has a few years left on his contract and Yao is a ticking time bomb of injuries. A championship this year is the goal and the team should accept nothing less.

Predicted Record: 63-19 1st place in the West, NBA Champions

NBA Final Standings:
The East: Playoff Teams

1. Celtics (win Atlantic) - Injuries will happen this year, they will figure them out
2. Magic (win Southeast) - Will be really good
3. Lebrons (win Central) - I just can't call them the Cavaliers, the only good player they have is Lebron
4. Pistons - Old, not getting much younger
5. 76ers - Got better with Brand, didn't lose anything
6. Raptors - Losing TJ Ford, adding the walking wounded in O’Neal moves them down for me
7. Heat - DWade will make them a 3 game above .500 team
8. Bulls - I think they play better this year

The West: Playoff Teams (Top 3 teams have a shot at 60+ wins)

1. Rockets (win Southwest) - We would have been #1 last year without Yao going down
2. Hornets - Exceptionally good and getting better. They have my two favorite non-Rockets in West and CP3
3. Lakers (win Pacific) - Good, will struggle a bit putting Bynum in but will be very good.
4. Jazz (win Northwest) - I hate you, I hate you so very much Utah Jazz, but you are pretty solid

5. Spurs - They have 2 more years left before they have to turn the team over to Parker, I can't decide if that is a good thing.
6. Mavs - I could see them winning anywhere from 44-55, they are a wildcard. It depends a lot on how Josh Howard handles this offseason. I think Dirkstatic will still be awesome though.
7. Suns - Old, very old, but have Amare for the future. Hill won't be as good and Shaq will have a big downturn. They'll make the playoffs because of Nash.
8. Trailblazers

Playoffs

East Semifinals: Boston, Orlando, Lebrons, Philly

East Finals: Boston, Orlando

West Semifinals: Houston, NO, LA, Utah - Advance

West Finals: Houston and NO

NBA Finals: Houston v Orlando

Champion: Houston - Yao shows DHo why he's the best center in the league

The Rockets and Hurricane Ike relief efforts

2008-10-06T16:20:00.003-05:00

Part of the joy of writing for this blog every day is that I get to make fun of Rafer Alston. Constantly. Of course, it would be highly unfair to do that and then overlook it when Rafer actually does something really cool...

like this.

Chuck Hayes and Rafer Alston delivered 2,400 pairs of Crocs shoes and hundreds of boxes of food to 1,200 Houston residents who lost their homes during Hurricane Ike earlier this month.

a tip of the hat to Rafer and Chuck!

Atlantic Division season previews

2008-10-06T09:23:00.005-05:00

We normally avoid talking about other teams here... but in the spirit of sharing and the commonly-held anticipation of the 2008/09 regular season, we've joined in with other bloggers to share various thoughts and commentary on each of the divisions. Even the Eastern Conference!

Today? The Atlantic Division.

Boston Celtics
Jeff Clark: CelticsBlog.com
Jim Weeks: Green Bandwagon
FLCeltsFan: LOY's Place
John Karalis: Red's Army
Dustin Chapman: Celtics 24/7

New Jersey Nets
Dennis Velasco: About Basketball

New York Knicks
Joey: Straight Bangin'
Seth Rosenthal: Posting and Toasting

Philadelphia 76ers
Dannie & Pete: Recliner GM
Jon Burkett: Passion and Pride

Toronto Raptors
Franchise: RaptorsHQ.com
Ryan McNeill: Hoops Addict
Cuzzy: Cuzoogle

Thank Jeff over at CelticsBlog for the idea and the effort in organizing a bunch of team-specific bloggers for this task! (Don't worry, the Southwest Division preview with our Rockets commentary is coming soon!)

Sage makes Rafer look competent

2008-10-05T21:40:00.004-05:00

For one day... Rafer's sucktitude takes a backseat to the Houston Texans. Specifically one Sage Rosenfels. FUCK YOU, Sage. I can only wish you meet these creatures:

Seriously, Fuck you, Sage - this is why your dumb ass is a back up QB.

Season previews have begun!

2008-10-03T08:35:00.003-05:00

Matt over at Hardwood Paroxysm also now writes a few entries for the NBA Fanhouse. Matt must really, really like blogging because he seems to be everywhere these days! Nevertheless, he posed an interesting question to us and asked us to answer it in a few paragraphs.

"How is the Shane Battier/Ron Artest/Luis Scola thing going to work out and will it be enough to get the Rockets to the second round? Conference Finals? What's the ceiling for this team?"

What he got in return, well... you'll just have to see for yourself!

Season preview: The NBA's Southwest Division

(and yes, I had about 20 more quotes I was prepared to use. I did my best to show restraint!)

Crazy Pills = Maverick??

Hey, Rafer! You suck, ya jackass!

2008-10-02T09:30:00.004-05:00

We are only 27 days from the start of the Houston Rockets' regular season (where we host Memphis at 7:30pm that Monday night). Which means we need to re-declare something:

RAFER ALSTON SUCKS!

Whew... that felt good!!
For some reason, I haven't felt compelled to say that in a while!

Why now? Maybe it's because John Hollinger agrees with me.

Biggest Weakness: Point guard
The Rockets have four-fifths of a championship starting lineup and a championship-caliber bench. Also, they have Alston. While he was better last year than in 2006-07, he's pretty clearly the weak link in an imposing starting five. Alston is a solid defender and dribbler, but he hasn't shot over 40 percent in four years and opponents feel free to gamble off of him to double Yao or McGrady. Finally, he's 32, an age when many quick guards start losing it.

You see, I'm not the only one who thinks knows he sucks...

Yes, I still say Rafer needs to be traded. The Rockets are going places this year, and I don't want drunky mucking everything up. I'll even risk the inevitable midnight threats from Rafer's mom -- Rafer sucks and we need to get value for him while we can.

Or, in other words... "don't pass to this guy, he sucks!"

YOU SUCK!

(note: anyone who thought I might have softened my stance on Rafer in the offseason clearly hasn't been paying attention...)

55: Making numbers work in your favor

2008-09-29T16:06:00.003-05:00

55. I consider this to be a magic number for the Houston Rockets franchise. Why "55," you might ask?? Well... in the limited history of the team, "55" has always been a good indication of future success. And by 55, I mean regular season wins.

You see, last year the Rockets finished 55-27 in the regular season. It was good enough to get to the playoffs, but not very far beyond that. It was also only the 2nd time in franchise history the team won exactly 55 games.

Maybe you see where I am going with this now...

Today, ESPN put out their pre-season power rankings. The Rockets are currently ranked 4th, behind Boston, L.A. (Lakers, of course) and the New Orleans CP3s. I care not about arbitrary power rankings and yet I always find myself reading them. Just for fun. But something struck me this time. When I saw the regular season record and Marc Stein's plea for "cautious optimism" for our team - I remembered something from the team's glory days.

You see, the last time the Rockets won exactly 55 games was the 1992-1993 season. That just so happened to be Robert Horry's rookie year. Yes, this is important. Keep reading.

Anyway, in 1993, Kenny Smith couldn't make a freakin' open jumpshot so the Rockets lost to Seattle in overtime in Game 7 of the Western semis. That sucked. And I'm still mad about it. Just like I am still mad about Tracy McGrady being an Initech employee during last year's playoffs. And yet... this is a good sign for the future.

Why?

Well - in the entire history of the franchise, EVERY time the Rockets won 55 games in a regular season, the team ended up winning the NBA Championship the very next year. It's true. Go look it up for yourself. So, maybe playing the "Robert Horry role" for this team is Luis Scola... and in his 2nd year, the Rockets will shock the world and win the ring! Again.

Ahh, a story with a happy ending. I like that.

Oh, yeah - we got interviewed or something

2008-09-26T08:31:00.002-05:00

the Laker Nation blog sent us some questions to distract us during Hurricane Ike. When we had no power and limited access to the Interwebs.

Here's the results. Their commenters are like funny and hypocritical and stuff.

Go Rockets!

Names we can safely remove from lists

2008-09-26T08:00:00.004-05:00

That did not take very long - the Rockets matched the offer sheet Carl Landry signed with the Charlotte Bobcats. No surprises there, except that maybe now Luis Scola will demand a pay-raise (and no argument here, he'd deserve it).

The really good news is that we now no longer have to hear the name "Buddy Baker" for the next 2-3 years! Yes, "Buddy Baker" is the clown acting as Carl Landry's agent. A wannabe Scott Boras/Drew Rosenhaus type who missed the day they taught about "leverage" at Agent school. But now he gets to collect his 5% or whatever and leave us Rockets fans alone.

... at least I can tell Danny McGrath to remove his name from the list of "People to Kill."

I sure am glad we called that guy...

Get Red, Give Red: Rockets Blood Drive TODAY 9AM-2PM

2008-09-25T07:59:00.004-05:00

The Rockets are holding a blood drive at the Toyota Center today. Get Red, Give Red is the slogan.

Sept 25
9AM to 2PM
Benefiting the Gulf Coast Regional Blood Bank

Free T-Shirts to the first 300 donors and Rockets players will be in attendance

To see Tracy McGrady's message, click here

I can only assume: Welcome Back Carl Landry!

2008-09-25T07:02:00.003-05:00

If the deal is really 3 years and $9 MM from the Bobcats, then I think we can safely rest assured that the Rockets resident GM genius will be matching it. And seriously, the third year is a team option? That makes it the perfect contract. It's not too expensive, will put the Rockets close, but possibly not over the luxury tax threshold and Landry gets what he wanted, he didn't have to do the knee MRI. Really it's a win all the way around for the Rockets and a no lose situation for the Bobcats.

So, I say welcome back Carl, now come and show that the Rockets should tie you up longer term in the next two years.

Daryl Morey, you are a genius, you proved your point, as $3MM was probably not far off from your offer and that's all he could get. He didn't go overseas like we all knew he wouldn't and you made his agent spend countless dollars of his own to get right back to the same spot they already were in.

Let the training camp Battle Royale begin!

2008-09-24T09:00:00.003-05:00

With training camp about to begin, there is one primary question associated with the Rockets. No, that question is not "will they ever get out of the first round?" because we know the answer to that is "hell yes, and this year in fact!" Instead, the real question is "who starts at small forward for Houston this year: Shane Battier or Ron Artest?"

Let's face it, the Rockets would not have acquired Ron Artest if we didn't consider there to be at least some sort of a weakness at the small forward position. Shane Battier is great at what he does - which is defend the opposing teams best non-center while staying out of T-Mac and Yao's way on offense. The problem is that this supposed strength is great for the Rockets when they are on the defensive end, but it slows down the offense. SI.com's Marty Burns discussed this exact dilemma today:

The skinny: Don't assume Artest will just step into the starting lineup. Battier is a valuable cog as a long-armed defender and three-point shooter. He also does a lot of other little things that complement Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming. Houston coach Rick Adelman might be reluctant to tinker with success, and instead opt to use Artest off the bench as a sparkplug and scorer much the way the Spurs do with Manu Ginobili. (At the end of games, Adelman can always use Artest and Battier on the floor with T-Mac as the principal ball handler). Artest, by the way, has said he would accept a reserve role.

Here's my concern with Burns' conclusion - yes, the Rockets have seen "success" using Battier as the small forward. But only in the regular season. Come April and May, the offense historically suffers dramatically. This is precisely why the Artest trade was made. Further, even the Spurs typically end up using Ginobili as a starter in the playoffs. Why? You play your best five guys as much as you can for as long as you can. That's what wins in the NBA. Lastly, while Artest says he would accept a reserve role, by December it would probably irritate him to see Shane continue to be a relative non-factor on offense. The last thing the Rockets want is an irritated Crazy Pills. Let's try to avoid this.

Meanwhile, because it is Ron Artest we are talking about... why not have a WWE-style Battle Royale to determine the training camp winner? Shane Battier is basically the whitest non-white dude there is, so I'm almost certain he watches professional wrestling. This could be awesome. Artest diving off the top rope to finish off Battier... only for Battier to be playing possum and roll away from the flying elbow...

Okay, yeah, it's clear I need the NBA to start. As soon as possible.

Really, really sorry... but...

2008-09-23T08:43:00.002-05:00

I really am sorry for the lack of posts here recently. The problem is that neither Lee or I have power at home yet. Still. Which means no Internet access during our free time. And the job doesn't pay me to blog during the working day on corporate/client time. So......

Not sure who annoys me more right now... the Utah Jazz or Centerpoint Energy.
(???)

Training camp should provide some interesting stories soon. And there will be season previews posted everywhere before you know it. Basketball is almost here!

Site news: Sorry about the domain name issues

2008-09-18T10:39:00.003-05:00

We are in the transition phase of moving over to Sports Blog Nation (SBN)... and the http://www.dreamshake.com/ domain name will once again point to this here blog in due time. Right now though, it's a dead link for reasons I can't explain, so I am forced to temporarily go back to the blogspot domain name (thedreamshake.blogspot.com). We will let ya know when the transition is finished.

In the meantime, it's a complete cluster-fuck over here. Just like most everything else in Houston right now. Maybe I can blame this on Hurricane Ike, to0?

Always remember -- don't mess with Texas!

Hurricane Ike update: we survived. Sort of.

2008-09-16T11:42:00.003-05:00

Okay, there's no other way to put it: that sucked.

And it continues to suck. I stayed in Houston through the entire storm. Ike was much, much, much stronger than forecast and it really messed up the city. My neighborhood did not fare very well in the storm. Somehow, my house remained fully intact - even the roof - but I remain without power, TV, A/C or Interwebs access at home.

Which is why I type this from the office...

My fantasy football teams all bit the big one because I couldn't update my lineups at all. Too many Texans putting up goose-eggs for me. Worst part was that I wasn't even able to *watch* football this weekend. I had to be told about the Broncos/Chargers game. I had to rely on hearsay statements to get any updates on anything football-related. Ike ruined my weekend. And I get really, really angry when someone ruins my Sundays anytime between September and December!!!

I really need the Rockets and Texans to do well this season now... hurricane diversions are going to be in great demand here. (I'm still waiting on the Astros to get a freakin' hit...)

The good news is that I'm okay and everything will be back to "normal" soon. But Saturday morning was some scary stuff. And here I thought Canadians were supposed to be a peaceful sort. F-U, Ike!

Yahoo likes us, they really like us!

2008-09-12T11:35:00.005-05:00

Yahoo's Ball Don't Lie NBA blog has a cool pre-season feature where Kelly Dwyer and J.E. Skeets are going team-by-team and identifying (ranking?) the top or most predominant blogs for each team...

Today the Houston Rockets were the Team Du Jour. Odd timing considering most people in Houston are busy dealing with a freakin' hurricane - but nonetheless, I'm just here reporting the news. Of course, I'm selfish and am not afraid of shameless self-promotion. Which is the reason I point this out, because Lee and I have been noticed.

BDL puts us as the #2 Houston Rockets blog!

Behind only the awesome Clutch Fans site (not sure if it's a "blog" per se, but hey, no need to get into a semantical Interwebs argument!).

So, thanks to everyone who has noticed us, promoted us or made any effort too read what we've published over the last year. It is much appreciated! (And that even goes for you, Rafer.... in case you've been reading!)

Go Rockets! I soooo can't wait for the regular season to start!

Site news: We hate hurricanes

2008-09-11T11:15:00.004-05:00

Hurricane Ike remains projected to kick Houston's ass this weekend.

One of us has already evacuated.

The other is stuck in Houston.

Don't expect much, if any, updates to this blog in the meantime. Or rants. Or raves. Or anything that would include a "Rafer Alston sucks" tag. Even though he does. Just know that.

I hate hurricanes.

Rafer going on trial for DWI

2008-09-10T14:03:00.007-05:00

So Rafer Alston is actually going to go through with the charade of a public trial for his DWI charge from back in August. Not only is he killing me slowly as a basketball player, now he's going to force Houston prosecutors to spend my freakin' tax dollars to prove that he was drunk.

yeah, yeah, I know - "innocent until proven guilty" and all that. I think they mentioned something along those lines in my criminal law class 8 years ago. And no, I was not sick the day they taught law at law school!

Nevertheless: a show of hands of anyone who thinks Rafer wasn't drinking and driving that night? Anyone? Anyone...? Bueller...??? Yeah, that's what I thought. I wasn't even there, but circumstantial evidence suggests that something was going on. Washington Avenue at *3*am. No headlights. And he had bloodshot eyes.

As for what the cops claim:

The officer said Alston had bloodshot eyes and the smell of alcohol on his breath. He said the basketball player was unsteady on his feet and had to grab
his car to balance himself.

Clearly Mr. Officer hasn't watched a Rockets game in a while. Alston being "unsteady on his feet" isn't exactly news to me!

Of course, Rafer hired Rusty Hardin. Who for some reason now seems to be the Texas version of Johnny Cochran.
Which means we can all see where Mr. Hardin's cross examination is going......... "Rafer Alston's driver's license says he's a resident of Toronto! Canadia! Why would he be driving at 3am in Houston in August?? Now that does not make sense!!"

... and Rafer will somehow be found innocent.

Hey, Carl Landry - stop listening to Ben Gordon!

2008-09-10T11:09:00.003-05:00

Allow me to rant and rave for a little while...

Hey, Carl Landry!!! Get your shit together, sign your contract and quit trying to play hardball with boy genius Daryl Morey!!!

I mean, if you know what's best for you, that is. (And, no, I do not think your agent knows what is best for you... right now he strikes me as the inverse Jerry Maguire. Only one client, but no contacts or connection to the industry.) Dammit, I want to make sure that the other 1/2 of Luis Landry is ready to go during the 2009 Championship Season!!

Things we know to be true:

1. You are not worth $10M a season, Carl.
2. You aren't even worth $8M a season, Carl.
3. The Rockets have every reason to be concerned about your injury history and the current status of your knee. It's what we call doing "due diligence."
4. You are in a good situation where you can thrive right now.
5. Europe ain't that fun. Ask Kumar - Eurotrip kinda sucked.
6. Europe ain't giving you $10M a year, either, anyway.
7. Your agent just might be an idiot.
8. Daryl Morey is a genius and is not going to be out-leveraged by you or your agent.
9. Luis Scola is making $3.1M this year. He's better than you and is the starter. He should be making more. Do you see where I am going?
10. If the Rockets offer you anything approximating $3M a year over 3-4 years, you should freakin' take it. Like, yesterday.

Things that somehow confuse me:

1. Why the f--k have you not signed a contract with the Rockets, Carl?!?

Hurry up, Carl! Make up your mind and commit to your team! Randal "Pink" Floyd you are not! Stop hanging out with that loser agent of yours and let's play some basketball!!!

Let the countdown begin: 50 days 'til tip off!

2008-09-09T10:11:00.004-05:00

50 days from now, the future 2008/2009 NBA Champion Houston Rockets begin the regular season by hosting the Memphis Grizzlies. Just 50 days!!

And for those looking just a little farther ahead... it's only three months and 18 days until the Rockets and new acquisition Ron Artest get to embarrass the Utah Jazz. I can't wait! And from the look of it, someone else is ready for the season to start, too!

Go Rockets!!

Your Floor Burns Champ: Shane Battier!

2008-09-08T09:04:00.003-05:00

Shane Battier, following a massive surge in voting, captured the first Floor Burns Tournament Championship. Shane Battier is your winner! He captured 59% of the vote to beat Jason Maxiell in the Finals...

Maxiell, the runner-up, will just have to be content with his ability to eat babies.

Congratulations, Shane! (and many thanks to ClutchFans!)

Get Red! - Rockets' Front Office guarantees a title!

2008-09-06T06:45:00.002-05:00

Okay, so it was just a marketing ploy by one guy, but I thought it was a nice feeling by anyone in the organization. From the official Get Red announcement:

“We want to be like Celtics’ green and Lakers’ gold," says Sheirr. "We want Rockets’ red to be nationally recognized as a big part of who we are and what our brand is. We want to own the color locally and, quite frankly, when we win the championship this year, we’ll own it nationally, too.”

I love it. And frankly, I'm just glad our color is red again, and not pajama stripe blue.

So let's "Get Red" everyone!

Hakeem The Dream - An Official Hall of Famer

2008-09-06T05:49:00.008-05:00

I wrote my long Olajuwon makes the Hall of Fame post back in April and didn't want to rehash the same thing. However, it's still a special time when the greatest Houston Rocket all time, the arguable best center of all time, and the inarguable top 3 center of all time, Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon is inducted into the Springfield Hall.
Here is the induction ceremony the Rockets held for him in April:

Here is a link to his acceptance speech (Note: If anyone has an embed link for it, send it my way and I'll post it here)

And as much as I don't think Ewing is really a full fledged Hall of Famer, Hakeem was extremely complimentary of him, so that's good enough for me. Also, every picture I've seen of Hakeem and Patrick seems to show that The Dream is taller. Now I know for an absolute fact that Olajuwon is not really 7 feet tall and that he's probably closer to 6'10 than 7', so what does that mean about Ewing? Has he shrunk 3 inches? I always thought he was a true 7 footer? I will get one jab at Ewing in here though, as eloquent as Hakeem was, and remember, English is like his 8th language, Ewing could barely put together a sentence.

JA Adande wrote a great article about Hakeem, and sums up a lot of what I feel about the Olajuwon era. I know that Clutchfans got all overreact-y about it, but there is nothing wrong with that article. Adande wasn't trying to hype Jordan in any way, and it's kind of weak to suggest he was. All he was doing was trying to talk to the casual NBA fan, the guy that only knows Jordan was phenomenal and show that Olajuwon was phenomenal as well. No, he wasn't American, he was one of the first International players to dominate, and everyone should know it, not just Rockets fans.

A great article on the Namesake

2008-09-05T09:16:00.002-05:00

There will never be another Hakeem Olajuwon.

I love Yao Ming's game... but he's not on Hakeem's level (yet).

Check out this excellent article in the Chronicle on Hakeem and how it was he made it to Houston to begin his path to the Hall of Fame.

Oh, and suck it, David Robinson -- I never get tired of this clip:

You may now also refer to us as "Element 48"

2008-09-04T11:45:00.005-05:00

The Dream Shake is now considered to be a fundamental element of the universe known as the NBA Blogosphere. Element #48 on your periodic table, aka "DS". Hey... I didn't make the proclaimation. (I would have, but I was either too lazy or not smart enough to do so before. Or both.)

No, this groundbreaking discovery is to be attributed to the guys over at Hardwood Paroxysm and Trey at the Blowtorch. See for yourselves:

I should have paid more attention in chemistry... this sorta gives me a headache. While also feeding my ego. I love the Interwebs.

Shane Battier Knows White People, the sequel

2008-09-02T10:49:00.023-05:00

Hello again, everyone! Based on the surprising success and popularity of our last celebrity installment - the network has demanded that I host another edition of "I Know White People"!! [audience cheers wildly - Chuck Taylor mutters "damn you, Chappelle!" under his breath]

For those of you who still do not recognize me, my name is Chuck Taylor and I'll be your host this evening! [audience golf clap]

Again joining us today are members of the professional basketball team from the City of Houston - the Rockets! Today's contestants are Ron Artest, Brent Barry, Joey Dorsey... and our returning champion, Mr. Shane Battier!

Good evening, Mr. Taylor! It's nice to be back!

Yo, 'sup? Am I getting paid for this??

We're getting paid? Sweeeeet. Can I get mine in $1 bills?

Kiss the rings, bitch!!!
Oh, sorry... I always wanted to say that. Hello...

Now, contestants, as I hope you are aware, the purpose of today's contest is to see which of you best knows the habits and tendencies of pigment-challenged Americans. As always, the questions will explore pop culture, slang and stereotypes commonly associated with Caucasians like myself. Let us once again find out which of you best knows white people, shall we?

Today's first question:
Who performed and recorded the song "Achy Breaky Heart?"

It wasn't me. Hey, Chuck, did you know I'm a recording artist, too? I have a new album coming out. Tru Warier records! Look for me... I'm a rapper! I'd never name no song "Achy Breaky Heart" though. That shit sounds gay.

Yeah! That sounds weak. Unlike my dunks - which are nothing but strong!

Bitch, please - no way your white ass can dunk.

But I can! I have! Really!!

[rolling his eyes] Yes, Mr. Barry, I believe you, but I need an answer to the question. How about you, Shane? Do you know?

But of course, Chuck! The song "Achy Breaky Heart" was originally performed by the Marcy Brothers, but was later re-recorded and made famous by Billy Ray Cyrus for his 1992 album "Some Gave All". Some would say it is his signature song.

That is correct!

Wait... did you say "Cyrus"? Like that Miley Cyrus chick I saw some half-naked pictures of on the Internet? Best $19.95 I spent that month. Teenagers today are crazy cool! I love the Internet.

Thanks for sharing, Mr. Barry. Please never do that again. Ever.

Now, for our next question:
Who was the first winner of the TV show "Dancing with the Stars" in the U.S.?

Someone say "dancers"? Cool, I needed a lap dance. Here's $20! Put on some music Chucky! And where are the girls??

Rookie gets no nookie!! Shut the fuck up and go get me a sandwich, chump!
[Joey Dorsey slowly walks off the set with bug eyes]

Ummm, wow. Mr. Artest you are starting to scare me. Shane, is it possible you know the answer to this?

Certainly, Mr. Taylor! While the United States was not the first to air "Dancing with the Stars" the first winner in this country was a soap opera star named Kelly Monaco. Her partner was Alec Mazo. There was actually some controversy.......

Yeah, there's controversy - cause that chick ain't famous for bein' on a soap opera. No, I've seen that chick naked on the Internet. A lot!! Thank you, Hugh Hefner! I love you, man!

Mr. Barry, please don't interrupt. And keep your hands where I can see them! Nonetheless, Shane - that is correct!!

[runs back onto the set with Ron Artest's sandwich] Yo, that girl could dance for me any day! I might even give her $40!

[looks at sandwich]
Bitch -- this has mayonnaise on it!! The fuck is wrong with you, rookie!?!

Mr. Artest, please, can we try to focus on the show? Please??? Anyway, uhh, yeah, let's just go to the next question.

Our third question today:
What 1975 movie parodies King Arthur's court and a search for a chalice of spiritual importance?

A chalice? Sounds like a pimp to me! It's good to be a King. Just not a Sacramento King. On that note, I certainly wasn't paid like a King when I played for the Kings. Do you see the irony in that, Chuck??? Do you?!?!

No, no I don't Ron. I have no idea what you are talking about.

I was once king of the Slam Dunk competition... true story. Really.

I get treated like a king every time I go to the club. VIP and stuff. The girls love the J-Train. I got a room named after me in Memphis and everything!

I give up! Shane, do you know the answer?

I think I do, Mr. Taylor. Are you referring to the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail? I love that movie. John Cleese always cracks me up. I keep trying to get Dikembe to watch it with me...

nah, Dikembe's too busy showing me the ropes -- if ya know what I mean. And by "ropes" I mean he's taking me to every club in Houston and announcing "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" I've tried to say "Who wants to sex Dorsey?" but Mutombo hit me with an elbow last time I did that. At least I hope it was his elbow.

[hangs head in shame]
Shane... your answer is correct. And now, before I kill myself, I'm going to ask one more question of the group.

Tonight's final question:
Who is this man?

That mo-fo looks like Santa Claus got a dye job!

Yo, playin' Santa Claus is fun... every Christmas I get every girl to sit on my lap. And I give 'em exactly what they want. Even if they say "no"... 'cause you know they mean "yes"!

Is that our head coach?

No, wait, is that the Monty Python pimp you were asking about earlier?

[muttering to himself]
yeah, gotta keep them ho's in check with my pimp hand...

Actually, guys, that's Wayne Newton! You know, "Mr. Las Vegas"! He's an icon! He is the epitome of coolness! I love that guy!

there is nothing even remotely cool about that ugly mo-fo.
The fuck is up with his hair?

Oh, man, Las Vegas! Now there are some dirty girls out in Las Vegas! Me and Coach Cal once had a crazy night out there... And the only gambling I did was whether I'd be gettin' some nasty disease after picking a skank outta that lineup of options at the Bunny Ranch!

Now, Joseph, you've got to treat women with more respect than that. Especially now that you are a professional athlete and represent Houston!

Yo, if I weren't a professional athlete there's no way I'd be able to keep up with them girls. And now I can finally afford the champagne room. Damn I'm gonna love Houston!

Ahhhhh, enough! That's it. I can't take it anymore. I need a shower.

Shane Battier, after correctly answering all four of tonight's questions, you are once again the winner of "I Know White People"!! Congratulations!

However, because the FCC is going to probably fine us a few hundred thousand dollars for even considering having Mr. Artest and Mr. Dorsey on this show, we didn't have much money for prizes. So, please enjoy this used DVD of Season 1 of "Three's Company" and may I never, ever have to host a game show again. Ever.

[Chuck storms off the set]

Yo, Chuck, where you goin'???

Oh, yeah, the buffet starts soon!
Chris Rock was wrong - titties and tater-tots DO mix. And I like it!

But... guys... come on... we have practice tomorrow!!!

[end show / credits roll]

Vote for Shane! Prevent a Traveshamockery!

2008-09-02T08:39:00.003-05:00

As of this morning, I have learned two things:

1. Detroit Pistons fans have NO lives.
2. Shane Battier is in the process of getting screwed over in the Floor Burns Tournament voting.

I just placed my vote - and Shane is somehow trailing Jason freakin' Maxiell by a vote of 714 to 46. This is a complete injustice. Nevertheless, I implore everyone to go vote for Battier to make sure this tournament maintains integrity (which it would lose if Maxiell were to somehow win)!! Please, go vote!

Now!

Umm, Mr. Morey - could you please explain this?

2008-08-29T16:40:00.003-05:00

The Rockets traded Patrick Ewing, Jr. Hey, cool, he wasn't really going to help us, so I have no real complaints about that. Plus his dad belongs in that category of players I despise along with Malone and Stockton...

Alas, who did the Rockets acquire for Ewing the Second?

This guy.

and no, not that pansy Vince Carter... no, we traded for the guy who got tea-bagged in the above video. Who has never done anything in the NBA. Ummm, why did we make this trade???

Mr. Morey? Please explain?? Help???

Does ESPN like the Houston Rockets??

2008-08-29T16:11:00.004-05:00

My lunchtime Interwebs browsing brought me over to ESPN...
where I saw these predictions/projections for 2008/09.

Funny this is -- I can't really come up with much of a legitimate argument to say why ESPN is misguided or flat out wrong in this analysis. They predict the Rockets to get homecourt advantage and be competitive in the typically ultra-competitive Western Conference. Hard to complain about that kind of praise. I mean, they did short-change us by 6 wins (predicting only 53) - even though I did a painstaking game-by-game analysis already and determined that the magic number was indeed 59. Yes, 59 - and that was me at my most objective and non-biased moment!

So - even ESPN likes the Ron Artest trade! Excellent!

I am soooo ready for the season to start!

A few quick links

2008-08-28T14:46:00.002-05:00

Want to sleep where Yao has laid? Ya, me either, but for those crazy peeps out there, you can!
(ht Matt and Hardwood Paroxysm)

Baller Blogger reminisces about The Dream! Good times!!
(ht Brandon at Baller Blogger)

SI rating the offseason moves

Lack of Posting Explained

2008-08-28T11:44:00.003-05:00

I haven't been posting as much as I'd hoped lately, but I have good reason!

My second son was born yesterday: Austin Ryan - 20 inches, 7lbs 11.5 oz
No Rockets' infant clothes with us, but we'll be sure to toss some on him by Game 1.

He looks about 800 years old in that picture, but it's the best I have for now

Expect my season predictions up before the weekend is over! And as a quick preview, I think Dave's prediction is a little light in the wins column.

Rudy T is infinitely better at everything than Jerry Sloan

2008-08-28T11:10:00.005-05:00

I have to say, for a fan of/writer for the Utah Jazz, I typically like Ross Siller. He is a solid writer that doesn't seem to be swayed from his opinion easily. With the niceties out of the way, Mr. Siller, you could not be more wrong.

He writes:

I won't rehash the whole thing for you, but the bottom line is Sloan was the lead assistant for the 1996 Olympic team. Everyone figured he would get the top job in 2000, given USA Basketball protocol going back to the Dream Team days. But Sloan was bypassed in favor of Tomjanovich for the head coaching job in Sydney.

The snub was a result of politics, personalities and backroom maneuvering and left the veteran Jazz coach as upset and disillusioned as I have ever seen him, mostly because he did not know what he did wrong.

The fact is, Sloan did nothing wrong.

The only part of those words that seems correct to me is that Sloan was indeed bypassed in favor of Tomjanovich. But let's get one thing straight; At no point in time, in either of their careers, was Sloan a better player OR coach than Rudy Tomjanovich. Not for one single second. Sloan would be, and was at that time, a terrible choice to coach Team USA. He simply is not fit for that job. It's the same reason he couldn't ever win a championship with two top 50 all time players for their entire carrers; he just doesn't have what it takes to win a championship of any kind. While he had Malone and Stockton's loyalty, I just never saw that from his other players that weren't stars. Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer (though I'm less sure of him) seem to be in the same boat. I'm not stating this with any kind of inside knowledge. It is in every way my own opinion, but Sloan just seems like an asshole. That alone is enough to not reach most of today's players. Coaches like him are over, they aren't what wins championships in the NBA or International play. Coaches like Rudy T were the new breed, they relate to players and still get their message across.

And I know Tomjanovich isn't an NBA coach still, though let it be very clear that this had NOTHING to do with lack of ability. He was a fantastic NBA coach from the day he took the job till the day he quit for medical reasons. Let's not forget, Rudy probably should have died after that Kermit Washington punch. His medical reasons for stopping were multiple. His coaching reasons for stopping were nil.

Ross, I know your point was to say that Sloan should have coached the team, but leave Rudy out of it.

Lee is like famous and stuff now

2008-08-28T10:31:00.004-05:00

If y'all get a chance today, make a trek across the Interwebs to read the interview Empty the Bench did with Lee. Lots and lots and lots of Rockets-related questions, comments and things of that nature.

(at least now I know why Lee's been quiet on the blog, he's been pimping himself out! Nicely done, sir!)

Be careful though with the new-found fame - there are some shady agents out there trying to make a quick buck! Namely this guy:

just don't let him put you in a boxing match.......

At least he's giving me material...

2008-08-28T09:43:00.007-05:00

I was going to ignore it. I really, really was.
I mean, I already gave this guy a forum last week.

And I generally try to ignore the no-talent assclowns that walk the Earth. Alas, this I could not let this go. More evidence that Richard Justice is a complete tool.

I had a creepy feeling watching Ron Artest get that wild ovation when the Rockets introduced him Monday. It just doesn't seem right. This guy has been a poster boy for bad behavior, with everything from domestic violence to animal neglect to punching out a fan. He has been suspended 10 times

Uhhh, since when do we expect our athletes to be choir boys? Allow me to repeat after Charles Barkley - athletes are NOT role models. The city of Houston is extremely lucky to have guys like Yao Ming, Shane Battier, Luis Scola and even Tracy McGrady as representatives of our team. They are good people. Very good people. But let's face it, the cliche usually is true - nice guys finish last. I'm sick of supporting a team that comes up just short and is accepting of such a fate.

Also, it's not like Artest is the only NBA player ever accused of domestic violence, either. One such guy just so happened to represent our freakin' country the last few weeks at the Olympics (yeah, I'm looking at you, Jason Kidd.) And suspensions? Kobe Bryant has been suspended a handful of times, too - is Richard Justice suggesting that he wouldn't be good enough for the Rockets? If it is the Detroit brawl that bothers him so much, I'd love to see how li'l Dickie reacts if someone threw beer at him while he was at his desk typing that dreck he calls "journalism"!! Sorry, but if you throw beer at me, you better expect retaliation. And I'm not a thug. That said - I am not holding Artest out to be a beacon for all that is good and pure about humanity and/or basketball. I just think his personality is something the team has sorely needed for a LONG time...

Yet he's our guy now, and because he might help the Rockets get out of the first round of the playoffs, let's let the good times roll. I'm know I'm out of step on this. I know most of you would be happy to have O.J. Simpson if he could still be productive.

Did you just compare Ron Artest to O.J. f--kin' Simpson??? Yeah, getting in a fight when some jackass throws beer at you is completely analogous to brutally killing your ex-wife and her boyfriend. Sure. (Enter Mr. Chris Rock: "I ain't sayin' it was right... but I understand." And I'm talking about Artest there, not O.J.)

You dislike how the Astros place a premium on character. You think the Texans are naive for not wanting Tank Johnson, Cedric Benson or Pacman Jones. You love the Rockets. They're all about winning. Character be damned.

No, we think the Texans are smart for not going after players that cost too much and probably won't help us win. Quit listening to the peanut gallery, RJ. Oh, and yes, I do love the Rockets. Thanks for noticing. But character is just one factor. Hakeem Olajuwon wasn't exactly a choir boy. Neither were Vernon Maxwell, Robert Horry or Charles Barkley (yeah, remember he was a Rocket for a while...).

The Astros haven't exactly been perfect either. Let me be the first to say in the blogosphere that I am shocked the name "Bagwell, Jeff" was not in the Mitchell Report. Aside from Craig Biggio... the Astros have had a lot of shady characters pass through - I mean, Ken Caminiti was just the tip of the iceberg for Astros that had "problems" with drugs, alcohol, women, etc.

I understand the move from a basketball standpoint. Ron Artest makes the Rockets better. For GM Daryl Morey, it's a no-brainer.

Yeah, Daryl Morey has a job... and "winning" is a huge part of the job requirements. Plus, he's like a genius or something. Not that you'd ever be able to relate to that, Dickie. Ron Artest DOES make the Rockets better. And if you haven't noticed, we live in a society that places a premium on winning. We tend to like winners. Again, not that you'd know anything about that, RJ. Though I guess you would be the expert on what is or is not a "no-brainer" - you have the requisite lack of that...

I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around Les Alexander allowing this guy on his team. Is winning that important? Does character no longer count for anything?

Maybe Les Alexander likes winning, too?!?!?! It's not rocket science here (though I'll be sure to add "rocket science" to the list of things that you'd probably also have trouble wrapping your mind around...)

And maybe, just maybe, Ron Artest isn't the monster you want to make him out to be. Yes, I know if he were that it would make it *so* much easier for you to write columns and sell papers. Maybe that's why you are so disappointed. God forbid you actually offer an original and unique opinion that doesn't tend towards Yellow Journalism.

Hey! I have an idea! Maybe you and Jay Mariotti can start your own little club... I hear he's looking for work now. Or do you get too much of a kick insulting innocent people who have the audacity to comment on your blog and actually offer up legitimate discussion points?

Mr. Justice... FOAD. Thank you.

Because pictures are fun!

2008-08-27T11:39:00.004-05:00

Ron Artest... in Rocket Red

I'm actually somewhat saddened that Artest didn't go the Chad Johnson route and try to legally change his name to Crazy Pills. Then I could buy a #96 jersey with "C. Pills" on the back!

(h/t - Skeets at Ball Don't Lie )

"... we have a trade!"

2008-08-26T09:41:00.004-05:00

Yes, the Rockets made another trade last night...

acquiring D.J. Strawberry for Sean Singletary (who?).

Hey, maybe Darryl Strawberry will show up for a few games now. Then I could break the "Darrrrrrryl! ... Darrrrrryl!" taunt!

Oh, and I hear D.J. is kinda good, too...

Battier makes the Final Four (again)

2008-08-25T10:27:00.002-05:00

Being a Dukie, I'm sure Shane Battier is quite familiar with tournaments and making the "Final Four"... and he's done so again.

Battier squares off against Ronnie Turiaf in the Conference Finals of the Floor Burns Tournament. Battier also has the opportunity to avenge the brutal voting death of his teammate, Chuck Hayes (who somehow lost to Turiaf in Round 1).

Go Vote!!!

Just to clarify - this guy is a no-talent assclown

2008-08-25T09:56:00.004-05:00

I usually hesitate to post entries that don't have at least some tangential connection to the Houston Rockets or the NBA... but this has to be shared. We rip on him here all the time, and most anyone who reads the Houston Chronicle can't be surprised, but Richard Justice continues to be a no-talent assclown .

For a professional writer/journalist... the display of hubris and immaturity here is actually quite impressive. It also makes me sad that this is the guy hired to "cover" the professional sports teams that I spend so much energy supporting.

Not even Michael Bolton was this much of an assclown... and at least he won grammies.

And oh by the way - Scola got a medal, too

2008-08-24T14:59:00.004-05:00

Yes, yes, the U.S. Olympic Men's Basketball Team won the gold. Barely. You can thank Kobe and his penchant for 4 point plays for that... but anyway, that's not really a surprise, and I'm saddened that I can no longer use the "LeBronze" joke.

Meanwhile, Luis Scola added to his medal collection, picking up the Bronze to go with that Gold freakin' Medal he won back in 2004 (you know, back when the U.S.O.C. was dumb enough to let Stephon Marbury wear the red/white/blue... and let Larry Brown "coach" the team. Brilliant.) Anyway, so Scola proved he was a badass against the U.S. - Leading scorer with a double-double that day. He just had no help.

He finished it off today and made sure he got some sort of medal for his efforts. He had a simple 16 points on 50% shooting in the consolation game, but it was enough for a 12 point victory over Lithuania. Yes, Luis Scola is a badass. Still.

(also, I guess it's time to retire the "Luis Scola has a gold medal and Kobe does not" tag.) (*#&@, the 2008 Olympics are ruining all my good jokes.

You want 'em? You got 'em - U.S. to face Scolas!

2008-08-21T12:43:00.003-05:00

The "Redeem Team" (even though the team is filled with such shady characters as Carlos Boozer, Jason Kidd, Carmelo Anthony and even Kobe) continues its march toward the Gold Medal. Next up? Argentina. A team Kobe Bryant not-so-secretly wished the U.S. would play.

So, you wanna face Argentina, huh? Well... now's your chance.

Just remember one thing: Luis Scola is a badass!
(even if Manu is a no-good dirty flopper)

and if nothing else, it gives me a reason to post this picture again:

Careful what you wish for...

Predicting the 2009 Season in August

2008-08-20T10:51:00.008-05:00

The 2008/09 NBA Schedule for the Rockets has been out for a few weeks now. We've already noted that the schedule makers did not do the Rockets any early-season favors (yeah, F-U schedule makers!). Of course, the Rockets do have a cakewalk February if they can focus and take care of business against inferior teams.

In addition, Lee and I have been somewhat successful in predicting things on this here blog. Or do we need to remind you that Lee himself did, in fact, predict that a very long winning streak was coming. That winning streak ended up being 22 games if you've forgotten about that already...

Since we are playing with house money in the prediction department, why not try to predict the entire 2009 regular season? I shall do my best to be objective. Let us begin:

Wed, Oct 29, v. Memphis - W
(we aren't losing to the overmatched Grizz on opening night.
No freakin' way.)

Thu, Oct 30, @ Dallas - L
(the first "screw you, Rockets" by the schedulers.
2nd part of a back-to-back and on the road.)

Sat, Nov 1, v. Durants - W

Tue, Nov 4, v. Boston - L
(early matchup against the Champs, uh oh)

Thur, Nov 6, @ Portland - W
(Yao > Oden)

Fri, Nov 7, @ Clippers - W
(no Elton, no team)

Sun, Nov 9, @ Lakers - W
(Kobe's first taste of Artest + Battier)

Wed, Nov 12, @ Phoenix - W
(Yao > the Fat Ass)

Fri, Nov 14, @ San Antonio - L
(last of 5 straight road games. Not fair.)

Sat, Nov 15, v. New Orleans - W
(we match up well against the CP3s)

Mon, Nov 17, @ Durants - W
(too young to beat us... at this point)

Wed, Nov 19, v. Dallas - W
(Jason Kidd kinda sucks)

Fri, Nov 21, @ Washington - W
(I like Agent Zero a lot, but... no.)

Sat, Nov 22, @ Orlando - L
(I sense a trap/let-down game)

Mon, Nov 24, @ Miami - W
(Flash or no Flash, they aren't very good)

Wed, Nov 26, v. Indiana - W

Sat, Nov 29, v. San Antonio - W
(yeah, I'm calling it a win here. I just am.)

Sun, Nov 30, @ Denver - L
(gotta fly to Denver for back-to-back? Ouch.)

Wed, Dec 3, v. Clippers - W
(sorry, I just don't see the Clips competing)

Fri, Dec 5, v. Golden State - W
(just a hunch, we'll take 'em at home)

Mon, Dec 8, @ Memphis - W
(Memphis still sucks. And probably will for a while.)

Tue, Dec 9, v. Atlanta - W
(if we lose this game, I will be very, very angry.)

Fri, Dec 12, @ Golden State - L
(the game where G.S. gets even...)

Sat, Dec 13, @ Clippers - W
(look, I'm not ever going to pick the Clips to beat us.)

Tue, Dec 16, v. Denver - W
(Denver has only gotten worse this offseason.)

Fri, Dec 19, v. Sacramento - W
(Crazy Pills won't let us lose this one)

Sat, Dec 20, @ Minnesota - W
(Minnesota sucks, too - but the new unis are cool.)

Mon, Dec 22, @ New Jersey - W
(I am not scared of Vince Carter)

Tue, Dec 23, @ Cleveland - L
(I am kinda scared of LeBron)

Fri, Dec 26, @ New Orleans - L
(this is not a very nice x-mas gift to the Rockets.)

Sat, Dec 27, v. Utah - W
(F-U, Utah! We are winning this game!)

Mon, Dec 29, v. Washington - W
(Agent Zero will need to score 60. He won't.)

Wed, Dec 31, v. Milwaukee - W
(Didn't Milwaukee trade their whole team?)

Fri, Jan 2, @ Toronto - L
(post-New Year's trap game...
Joey Dorsey + Canadian strip clubs could be scary.)

Sat, Jan 3, @ Atlanta - L
(hangover, part 2 - long trip and back-to-back)

Tue, Jan 6, @ Philly - W
(where we wake up but are sick of playing on the road)

Wed, Jan 7, @ Boston - L
(this road trip got ugly fast)

Fri, Jan 9, @ Durants - W
(we love KD here, but... not happening.)

Sat, Jan 10, v. Knicks - W
(New York can't even hope to contain Yao)

Tue, Jan 13, v. LA Lakers - W
(again, Artest + Battier > Kobe)

Sat, Jan 17, v. Miami - W
(not losing to Miami. Certainly not at home.)

Mon, Jan 19, v. Denver - L
(I sense another let-down game here...)

Wed, Jan 21, v. Utah - W
(... because we are thinking ahead to Utah)

Fri, Jan 23, @ Indiana - W
(Indiana is a sinking ship... and Artest will kill 'em)

Sun, Jan 25, @ Detroit - L
(for some reason, we never play well at Detroit)

Mon, Jan 26, @ NY Knicks - W
(Yao loves the Garden. Many dunks ahead.)

Wed, Jan 28, v. Philly - W
(to make up for last year's Philly Debacle)

Sat, Jan 31, v. Golden State - L
(a high-scoring game??)

Tue, Feb 3, v. Chicago - W
(the Undefeated February begins)

Wed, Feb 4, @ Memphis - W
(it's still only Memphis)

Sat, Feb 7, v. Minnesota - W
(I told you February was easy)

Mon, Feb 9, @ Milwaukee - W
(easy road game. Or should be...)

Wed, Feb 11, v. Sacramento - W
(Ron Ron won't let us lose to Kings. No way.)

Tue, Feb 17 v. New Jersey - W
(return from All Star break with easy victory.)

Fri, Feb 20, v. Dallas - W
(J-Kidd only getting older by the day.)

Sun, Feb 22, v. Charlotte - W
(Bobcats getting better, but still kinda shitty.)

Tue, Feb 24, v. Portland - W
(first trip to Houston for Oden)

Thur, Feb 26, v. Cleveland - W
(we own the LeBrons at home)

Sat, Feb 28, v. Chicago - W
(if for no other reason than to stay unbeaten in Feb.)

Sun, Mar 1, @ Minnesota - W
(OJ Mayo is not stopping the Streak, part II)

Tue, Mar 3, v. Toronto - L
(trapped again in looking ahead to Utah...)

Wed, Mar 4, @ Utah - W
(Utah sucks. Or maybe I just hate 'em.)

Fri, Mar 6, v. Phoenix - L
(another let-down game... I hate the Fat Ass still.)

Sun, Mar 8 v. Memphis - W
(Kevin Love is not going to beat us)

Mon, Mar 9, @ Denver - W
(making the playoff push now)

Wed, Mar 11, v. Lakers - W
(Kobe is going to have nightmares about this game.)

Fri, Mar 13, @ Charlotte - L
(I sense a bad, bad game here... but that's okay)

Sat, Mar 14, v. San Antonio - W
(because this will make up for it)

Mon, Mar 16, @ New Orleans - L
(dammit.)

Wed, Mar 18, v. Detroit - W
(Detroit will be at end of disappointing season)

Fri, Mar 20, v. Minnesota - W
(Rockets just keep winning)

Sun, Mar 22, @ San Antonio - L
(damned schedule makers!!!)

Tue, Mar 24, @ Utah - W
(if you ever think I predict a Utah "W"...
you clearly haven't been paying attention)

Sat, Mar 28, v. Clippers - W
(come on, it's still the Clippers)

Wed, Apr 1, @ Phoenix - L
(April Fool's Shaq - you're still a f--king joke!)

Fri, Apr 3, @ LA Lakers - W
(Kobe steals one at home)

Sun, Apr 5, v. Portland - L
(Oden is kinda good... and not really a rookie)

Tue, Apr 7, v. Orlando - W
(Rashard comes home, Rockets disappoint him again.)

Thu, Apr 9, @ Sacramento - W
(if Artest plays here... we win. That simple.)

Fri, Apr 10, @ Golden State - L
(damn back-to-back games!!)

Mon, Apr 13, v. New Orleans - W
(I still maintain we match up well.)

Wed, Apr 15, @ Dallas - L
(Rockets will have a top seed locked-up by now)

Final Regular season standings??
Houston Rockets: 59-23 (projected)

I'll take that... we'd have home court again, at the very least!

Yao and China: Elimated in 8th place

2008-08-20T09:11:00.004-05:00

Yao and the Chinese National Team lost to Lithuania 94-68, in a crushing defeat. Lithuania is clearly a top 4 team, and China is clearly not. This loss makes the loss to Spain, blowing a 20 point lead (14 in the 4th) , and the complete lay down to Greece hurt even more for the Chinese. Without those losses they could have finished as high as 6th, even with a loss to Argentina (which would have beaten them as bad, if not worse than Lithuania).

I want to be sad for Yao about the loss, but honestly, I'm too giddy about the fact that he's not going to have to play anymore non-NBA games before the start of the season. I was absolutely cheering for Yao to win the silver, or bronze if Luis Scola won the silver, but I'm not going to pretend that I'm sad that they are out.

I found something interesting in Fran Blinebury's article about the loss:

Yao said before the start of the Games that he did not want to play in the 2012
Olympics in London and would like to cut back his involvement with the Chinese
national team to rest his body for the NBA.

I'm not going to pretend like I saw that anywhere else, I didn't. And it's news that is wonderful for Rockets fans. It's even great news to fans from China. While it is arguable that any Yao playing for China in the Olympics held there was more important to the country than a healthy Yao playing in the NBA, it is not arguable that a healthy NBA Yao is worth infinitely more to the country than any Yao playing in National Team competitions and the Olympics in London. I am absolutely a country first guy, I'd trade a Rockets championship in an Olympic year for the gold medal as a team. I want to own the world in every sport, be it basketball or synchronized swimming or shooting or hell even the freaking trampoline. I love this country, and with my grandmother leaving Russia during the revolution, and then having her family move to China, and then eventually meeting a bad ass American Soldier and coming here, I know how important and great this country is. I care more about the US and even Texas than I do about 1 NBA championship. That being said, I love the Rockets and always want a championship given I don't have to give it up for something else. And a Rockets championship with Yao as the dominant superstar would do amazing things for China, things that finishing 4th or lower at the Olympics would never do. If they had a realistic chance to medal, and they unequivocally do not, I'd change my tune. However, can you imagine the profile a Chinese born player would have if he stood on top of the American basketball world? It would be something that not even Tiger Woods in America could touch. He is already the biggest thing in China, but he would transcend generations. He would be the reason China eventually finds 12 guys in the country that can compete for a medal on the World level. That alone would be worth him not playing in the 2012 Olympics. And here's the thing, I don't believe he will have to (or even will for that matter) sit out the Olympics. He can still play in them and not play in any other events. While the US National team had to check their egos at the door and learn how to play with each other, Yao doesn't have to do that. He is the ultimate team player. He doesn't need to play any different than he does in the NBA night in and night out, so his adjustment time to another team would be significantly shortened.

Now it's time to get down to business. With Artest in the fold, some more minor trades to come and McGrady talking like he's willing to be his old self again, I need some more of this:

Oh yeah, we have multiple Olympians!

2008-08-19T17:31:00.001-05:00

Because I haven't given nearly enough time or attention to the Houston Rockets' other participant in the 2008 Olympic Games... here's a random YouTube highlight clip I saw of Luis Scola playing internationally:

yup, still a badass.

I just have to say...

2008-08-19T15:19:00.004-05:00

The NFL and NBA regular seasons cannot get here soon enough.

I need football and basketball back in my life. Like... now! The Astros are killing me. One day at a time. And I'm sorry, but while Michael Phelps is unabashedly a badass, the Olympics overall are still kinda boring. They are. Just accept it.

The thought of waiting another 2+ months for the Rockets to start playing might make me go crazier than a certain Crazy Pills.

(Maybe he'll put a little Rocket ship in his haircut in October??)

Quandary of the day: Do I root for China?

2008-08-19T14:13:00.003-05:00

I like Yao Ming.
I want Yao to do well.

Even at the Olympics.
Especially when the Olympics are being held in his hometown. I mean, Yao is one of the top 2-3 athletes in all of China. That's a billion-plus built-in fans. Not bad!

My question for today, however, is whether I should cheer for Yao and his fellow Chinese basketball players. Yao's already made the game of basketball hugely popular in the Far Eastern Hemisphere... but what about those of us with vested interests in the Western Hemisphere?

I've already made my opinion clear that I am not convinced the U.S. Men's basketball team will runaway and win the gold easily. That said, I'm not exactly concerned about China being the team to stop them. Which means I don't really consider China to be "the competition" right now - which allows me to support Yao's team without any feelings of guilt. I mean, I like Yao a lot, but I'm American, dammit - and I have no problems chanting "U.S.A., U.S.A.!" when it matters.

Enough dawdling... the point I am trying to make today is this:

China plays a quarterfinal game tomorrow. China finished pool play 2-3 but now can compete for a bronze or silver medal. Yao has been playing a lot more than expected this summer (and let's not forget he's not exactly healthy). I love that Yao has been angry in defeat. Love it. But I also want Yao to be able to be angry when the Rockets lose (on those rare occasions).

So the question is:

(a) Do I root for Yao/China and hope the Chinese go as far as they can?

or

(b) Do I root for Yao/China to lose a close game tomorrow and immediately get Yao shipped back to Houston to prepare for the 2008/09 season?

Floor Burns - Round 3 - Battier still alive!

2008-08-18T08:32:00.005-05:00

Yes, we have made it to week 3 of Hoops Addict's Floor Burns Tournament.

Shane Battier is still alive, and this week is matched up with Julian Wright. This should be a huge beat-down. In Shane's favor, of course. But he needs the votes - and this is far more interesting (and easier) than the Presidential Election, so go quickly place a vote for Shane Battier.

note - I'm going to go vote against Jason Maxiell while I am at it, for it appears Max might be the only real threat to Shane winning this whole tournament.

And anyone who says Battier is the most overrated player in the NBA can kiss my ass. The fact that Robert Horry was also on that list just proves how idiotic said list is. The added fact that Yao freakin' Ming was on the list should require the author to get publicly tar-and-feathered. Or at least mocked loudly. Very loudly. For Yao Ming is a badass, even when he's playing at only 60%. Ask Chris Kaman.

I found it! I found it! Someone made the worst list of all time!

2008-08-17T00:41:00.004-05:00

I can't see who picked this list, but it is unequivocally the worst list I have ever seen. There are 5 people on this list, there are 5 people on this list that are actually UNDERRATED and not overrated as it tries to claim. I don't understand how anyone can be this big of an idiot.

I almost don't want to post the link as it will just up his reader count, but oh well, here it is:

5. Dwyane Wade - That's just stupid in every way. The Olympics should show the person that wrote this that knows nothing about basketball how good Wade really is

4. Robert Horry - His greatness has been chronicled here many times

3. Yao - I would punch whoever this is if they didn't hide behind the site and not reveal their name. Yao overrated? On what planet, it seems most people don't even respect his offense, much less his entire game. That's right, Yao is a good, while not great, defender. His post defense is the best in the NBA. Anyone that thought the later portion of the 22 game winning streak saw the Rockets play better than the first 12 games is, well, a dumb-fuck. Yao was DESTROYING people in those games. Yes, they kept it up, but not quite at the same level. Yao was literally the MVP of the league during those 12 games.

2. Shawn Marion - Ahh, the ever so popular, so underratted that he's now overrated. By who exactly? I don't think anywhere near enough people respect him for the player he is.

1. Shane Battier - He's quite possibly the best team defender in the league, and he's in the top 10 individual defenders. How exactly is he overrated? If you think Shane Battier is even rated enough to be underrated than I guess that is something for Dave and I. We both think he's woefully underrated as a player. No, he's not an offensive phenom. Luckily, that's in no way his job.

It's official! Welcome aboard Ron!

2008-08-14T21:08:00.002-05:00

Ron Artest is officially a Houston Rocket!

(ht Clutchfans on the pic)

Rafer is compounding his mistakes

2008-08-14T11:08:00.003-05:00

So... Rafer "apologized" for his DWI arrest today.

here's his actual apology:

"On behalf of Mr. Alston, he wishes to apologize to the Rockets and the fans... He never intended for this to happen. He is looking forward to putting this behind him."

Mistake #1 - hiring Rusty Hardin's firm to represent you. After the Roger Clemens debacle, hiring Rusty just makes you look guilty. And unlike hiring Johnny Cochran, you don't get the option of "I'd rather look guilty at the mall" here (thank you, Chris Rock). Then again, that leads us into Mistake #2..

Mistake #2 - why the hell are you apologizing? Step 1 should be to deny everything. Step 3 is to profit. I thought this was common knowledge by now?!?

Or, put it another way, you should have used the Bundy Credo!!!
(no, not the one about "hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum" - I meant the other Bundy Credo!)

"lie... sell shoes ...and lie!"

Then again, you are driving around Houston with a Canadian driver's license? And you still list your residence as Toronto, Canada? Wow - maybe you and I both agree that you should be run out of Houston?!? We may finally have found some common ground here!

This is my favorite part though:

"The officer described Alston as being belligerent and combative."

Ya don't say? If only you were belligerent and combative in the playoffs, then I wouldn't be asking the Rockets to trade your sorry, drunken ass.

Reminder: Tomorrow is August 14th

2008-08-13T09:58:00.001-05:00

Also known as Ron Artest becomes a Rocket day!

I am beyond pumped up about this season. I'm pretty sure that my soon to be newborn son is going to think I'm crazy with all the screaming I plan on doing during games. My 2 year old already knows I'm nuts, he actually revels in it

Rockets/Jazz - if only the playoffs started TODAY

2008-08-13T09:38:00.007-05:00

With all the distractions of the Olympics and Rafer's drunken antics, I almost forgot that the Ron Artest trade should be official tomorrow. Which makes me "officially" wonder what the Rockets could have done last year if only we had the services of Crazy Pills during the playoffs.

My conclusion? There is no freakin' way the Jazz would have beat the Rockets in any of the two previous years if we had Artest on the roster. No freakin' way.

Yes, I know, the Rockets have lost to the Utah Jazz the last two years in the first round of the playoffs. Blah, blah, blah. It's not like Utah did anything thereafter. The Jazz are still o-for-forever on NBA Championship rings...

(haha, suck it, Utah!)

Ah, that taunt never gets old... but anyway...

Take a look at the rosters and matchups as they would exist today. Too many people think Utah might be one of the top 2 teams in the West right now. Those people would be wrong.

As of tomorrow, the Rockets roster/rotation will look like this:

PG: Rafer (sober, I hope)
SG: Tracy McGrady
SF: Ron Artest
PF: Luis Scola
C: Yao Ming

off the bench, we'll have the luxury of subbing in:

Shane Battier, Brent Barry, Carl Landry (I hope), Aaron Brooks and Chuck Hayes.

Which means we could have a 4th Q "finishing 5" of T-Mac, Crazy Pills, Battier, Scola and Yao. Would any team legitimately be able to expect to score more than 20 points in a quarter against that group? Even if the Rockets have trouble scoring on their own (which they won't), they are going to pose defensive matchup nightmares for every team they face. Close games are going to favor the Rockets. Finally.

Though, in the spirit of equal time, here's the rag-tag group the Jazz might throw out on the court next season in their continued effort to offend, insult and bore NBA fans nationwide:

PG: Deron Williams (okay, he's cool)
SG: Ronnie Brewer
SF: Andrei Kirilenko
PF: the guy who stabs blind guys in the front
C: Mehmet Okur

off the bench, the Jazz will have no choice but to turn to:

Ashton Korver, Matt Harpring (pwn3d, bitch!), C.J. Miles and Paul Millsap (unless they also want me to mention Jarron Collins and Brevin Knight, but I'm guessing "no" there).

Hmmm, let's see... starting lineup - definitely favors the Rockets. Major advantages at C and SG overcome Utah's only real advantage - which would be at the PG spot. But since Deron can't play the whole game, the Rockets' depth, size and experience would (and will) overwhelm Utah over the course of any game/series. And don't start with any "Boozer would kill Scola" arguments. Scola is a badass. Boozer is a coward. Scola already has a gold freakin' medal, while Boozer is playing the Christian Laettner role this year for the U.S. squad.

I am so ready for the 2008/2009 season to begin. Rockets v. Jazz, first matchup - Saturday, December 27, 2008 @ Houston. I'll take that belated Christmas gift, thank you very much. Ron Ron will have had 2 months to get acclimated to his new teammates. Correspondingly, the Rockets will have learned how to play as a team by then... uh oh!!!

Listen up everyone, turn up your volumes, announcement

2008-08-13T09:37:00.002-05:00

I’ve got good news!
And it isn't that we’re extending arts and crafts time by 4 hours today (though we can do that if you want).

You may have noticed that in your address bar, it says TheDreamShake.com, instead of the blogger name. It finally became available so I jumped on it. Suck on that anyone with a shake that is dreamy and tastes good! So, if you have us bookmarked, and we hope you do, change it over to delete the blogger part please.

Now, on to the big news! To go along with the site change, Dave and I made the decision today to move the blog. We are going to be a part of SportsBlogNation, a network of individual blog communities run by fans, for fans and united by a common devotion to their favorite team or sports. SBNation is the largest independent sports blog network in all the universe.

I'm not completely sure when the transfer will happen, but we'll try to post the news up here a few days beforehand. You won't have to change your bookmark from TheDreamShake.com unless something crazy happens.

STOP BEING AN IDIOT RAFER

2008-08-12T09:57:00.002-05:00

If you have driven drunk you are an idiot. I've done it, I fully admit I was a dumb mofo in my college years. That being said, if you are a multi-millionaire and you drive drunk, you are a mega fucking idiot.

Rafer, and the rest of the guys in a spot to be a role model, spend those millions on a cab, hell, on a limo. Don't be a freaking moron.

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/myfox/pages/Sports/Detail?contentId=7185617&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=6.1.1

Yao's not afraid of the fake German or the real one

2008-08-12T08:47:00.009-05:00

I was watching the US vs China basketball game on Sunday with a lot of attention through the first half on Sunday, but when the blowout began I went back to only watching it in spurts. It was on, but I was engrossed in other activities with it in the background. Then a little blurb about Yao and Chris Kaman came up in the third.

“We are not afraid of Germany,” he said. “Yi (Jianlian) has improved tremendously, and he can limit Nowitzki. And I can take care of Kaman.”

That's right, this:

was no fluke. Yao knows that Kaman is his bitch. Not only can he not stop him in the NBA, there is not a chance he can stop him in International play, where the moving pick is a thing of beauty and Yao can effectively goal tend. That's like allowing Hakeem to take an extra step on The Dream Shake, it's just unfair in one on one play. I am loving the semi-trash talking coming out of Yao, it was the singular biggest improvement in his game last year. The passion was there to dominate, and before the injury that is what he was doing. I am beyond excited that he still has that aspect of his game still intact.

I have no problem visualizing Kaman's destruction at the hands of Yao, but I'm not so sure about Yi limiting a monumentally better player in Dirk. I don't know all the ins and outs of the international game, but much better is much better, and that doesn't even come close to describing the gap between those two players. After losses to the US by 31 and Spain by 10 in OT, China has to beat either Greece or Germany plus Angola and be 2-3 to advance. That loss to Spain was extremely promising. Yao actually had a relatively sub par game, mostly due to his 4-12 shooting performance, and China still took them to OT. Unfortunately they ran out of gas and couldn't keep the Spanish team from winning. Mind you, this team from Spain has 5-6 legitimate NBA players on it, that's a heck of a performance from China. If they can keep up that type of play, they will give Greece and Germany good games. I'm just hoping they don't get discouraged by loss that could have turned into a victory.

Let me get this out there too, I'm about as big of a USA nationalist, backer and fan as they come, but I don't have to begrudge Yao and his country a chance to bring national pride just by getting out of their pool. There isn't a chance on earth that they win a medal, so if they can somehow knock off anyone by the US to get there, I'm all for it.

China gets their shot at Germany on Saturday morning at 7AM CST. Good luck Yao!

Yao and China - More people who just don't get it

2008-08-12T08:47:00.008-05:00

Things Adrian Wojnarowski is right about:

1. Yao has delivered (he always does)
2. China and the NBA owe Yao a huge debt of gratitude
3. No player has ever entered the NBA with more pressure

beyond that... Mr. Wojnarowski is wrong in just about every conclusion in his article yesterday. His article just reinforces all the improper assumptions people have made about Yao, the Chinese basketball team, and Yao's commitment to playing International basketball.

First and foremost: Yao loves the game of basketball. From every interview, story, rumor, gossip, newspiece - there is no evidence to suggest that Yao feels like he is trapped into doing something he does not want to do. The dude loves playing basketball. Pure and simple.

Second, Yao is not like the American players we are all too familiar with. The Shaquille O'Neals, Tim Duncans and Kevin Garnetts of the NBA may believe they are "above" playing in the Olympics and representing their country. They may believe, rightly or wrongly, that they do not owe their country an obligation to play for the national basketball team. So be it. The difference is that - from all accounts - Yao has an overwhelming sense of national pride in representing China. Especially this year. While I am sure the Chinese would pressure him to play if he felt otherwise, I truly believe that it was Yao's personal decision to speed up the rehab so that he could participate in the 2008 Olympics in his home country. Why should we encourage Yao to set aside his interests in playing for China?

Just because the NBA (and we as fans) might get to see more of Yao Ming in a Houston Rockets jersey if he told the Chinese government to stick it -- that doesn't necessarily mean it's what Yao should or must do.

Yes, I do realize that there is a large chance that the more Yao plays in the "offseason" that it might directly affect his ability to stay healthy during the NBA season. It may altogether shorten his career. That alone, however, is not a reason to tell a man to turn his back on his country. Yeah, the United States might have issues with China's communist stance, its attitude towards human rights and the totalitarian government that supresses many of the rights of its citizens. But Yao is not American. He is not a United States citizen (nor is it likely he ever will attempt to gain citizenship here). We cannot judge him based on our previous notions of foreign basketball players. Yao is Chinese. And a proud representative of his country.

Let Yao Ming make his own decisions.

Shane needs to avoid Chuck's fate!

2008-08-11T15:22:00.003-05:00

Round 2 of the Floor Burns Tournament started today...

please go vote for Shane Battier again!!!!
(sadly, I must report that Chuck Hayes was defeated in Round 1 by Ronnie Turiaf. I still claim the deck was stacked against Chuck based on the matchups and the glowing Turiaf-based article that was linked next to his introduction.)

Shane got screwed on the DPOY voting and the All-NBA-Defense teams again this past year. The Floor Burns Tourney is a good start towards making up for these transgressions!

Thoughts following Yao v. the United States

2008-08-11T10:32:00.003-05:00

I actually woke up at 8am yesterday to watch Yao take on the United States... aka "the Redeem Team" (which just may be the dumbest moniker ever). Not that I expected China to compete with the U.S. team - I just wanted to see how Yao looked in his first real, true game action since February.

How'd he look? Pretty good for a guy playing at 60%!!

Yao even buried a 3 to start the game! (link is terrible video quality... sorry 'bout that). For some unexplainable, crazy-ass reason, Yao played 30 minutes yesterday. Or, put another way, 75% of the game. Why the hell would China use Yao so extensively in a game they could not reasonably expect to win? If China is that interested and serious about making it to the Medal Round, over-using Yao in Game #1 probably isn't the best idea. You are going to need the big fella for your other handful of games... why potentially ruin a good thing on the first day?

In the end, China got fatigued (such a surprise!), the United States went on a couple of big runs and put the game away in the third quarter.

Yao finished with 13 points and 10 rebounds -- and look at that, he made 6-6 from the FT line! Eat that, Dwight Howard! Not a bad start for a guy playing on a bum foot still. Of course, Yao falling down and clutching his ankle in the third quarter made me cringe and start cries of "get up, Yao! Get up!" - yeah, I was a bit scared. He looks to be okay though...

Other thoughts? The U.S. team is not going to win the gold. They still do not play like a team unless they have a 30 point lead and want to try alley-oops. Simple half-court offense is difficult for a team when they have 4 Type "A" personalities on the floor each demanding the basketball. As much as I love Kobe... even he got shot happy yesterday. For no reason. Unless you think he's trying to justify being the most popular player in China. I just have a weird feeling the U.S. LeBrons are going to get tripped up by Lithuania, Argentina or Spain in the Medal Round. Those are teams that are used to playing close games and having to grind it out in the 4th quarter. The Americans have no such experience to date.

Then again, I hope they prove me wrong and get to face Yao again in the Finals. (Though a matchup with Argentina and resident badass Luis Scola would be entertaining, too. Even though Scola's gang surprisingly lost yesterday...)

To Answer Dave's Question : Yes, Artest Hates Utah Too!

2008-08-08T09:38:00.001-05:00

Another undefeated February for Rockets?

2008-08-08T09:20:00.007-05:00

After reviewing the 2008/09 schedule for the first time earlier this week, I wanted to punch the NBA schedule-makers. A straight-shot, right to their collective baby-maker(s). But then I noticed something... as bad as November and April might be, we could see the Rockets taking part in yet another epic month of February. It was kind to us last year... check out this year:

Chicago
@ Memphis
Minnesota
@ Milwaukee
Sacramento
New Jersey
Dallas
Charlotte
Portland
Cleveland
@ Chicago

8 home games. 3 road games. Only Dallas and Portland really concern me here. And Dallas is backsliding. Portland is scary, but a healthy Yao can handle a one-legged Great Oden's Raven. At worst the Rockets go 9-2 in February next year. It gets better... here's the three games immediately before February:

@ NY Knicks
Philadelphia
Golden State

Sure, Philly gave us the January Debacle last year. And Golden State is always a bad matchup. But these are home games. And no one is scared about the Knicks.

But, wait... there's more. Here are the three games to begin March:

@ Minnesota
Toronto
@ Utah

We are beating Minny and Toronto. And we really, really hate the Utah Jazz. Hopefully Crazy Pills Artest does, too. So let's just chalk that up as a "W" today. Utah is goin' down. Rockets just need to keep their head on a swivel, cause that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight.

I'm quite sure no one in Utah would be surprised if RonRon tried to stab someone with a trident. But it's okay... the Jazz have it comin'.

Rockets Trade Novak

2008-08-06T13:42:00.002-05:00

Looks like we get a big bag of nothing, but in essence, we get cap relief and a the right to switch picks in a later draft, probably about 2022.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/5926955.html

Rockets 2008-09 Schedule is out!

2008-08-06T13:33:00.002-05:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/teams/schedule?team=hou

Rockets open up with 7 of 10 on the road. I'd like to take right now to say F You to the NBA scheduler. Of those 7 games, 4 are against playoff teams from last year, and add in Portland as a team I think will make the playoffs this year. And while the Memphis and Oklahoma games should be cakewalks at home, our only game at home against Boston comes in game 4 of the season.

As if that wasn't enough, we also close the season out with 7 of our last 11 on the road. Again, F You NBA scheduler. 5 of those 7 are against playoff teams from last year and one against Golden State who was only a game or so out. Home games against Portland, Orlando and New Orleans tossed in there.

Floor Burns - Shane and Chuck need your help!

2008-08-05T08:19:00.005-05:00

Hoops Addict has posted a very interesting tournament concept this week... an all "floor burn" competition among NBA players. Or, more specifically:

Each night ESPN, NBA.com and YouTube are flooded with clips of players soaring through the air for rim rocking dunks, buzzer beating three-pointers and blocked shots that make your jaw drop in amazement. While those are all entertaining plays, teams who win championships need players who are willing to get a little dirty and do the little things needed to help their team win. As valuable and crucial as these players are to their respective teams success, these players rarely get the credit or respect that they deserve. With that in mind, the First Annual Hoops Addict Floor Burn Tournament will kick off this week.

Over the next few weeks we’re going to pare down 32 participants until we’re left with one final player who will be heralded as the First Annual Floor Burn Tournament Champion. As players are eliminated, they’ll be matched against the bracket below them. For example, the winner of the West/Powe match-up will face off against the winner of Dudley/Nocioni in the second round.

Keep in mind that voting for the first round will end on August 11th at 12:00 AM.

Now, how cool of an idea is that? It's made even more cool with the inclusion of Shane Battier and Chuck Hayes as the representatives from the Rockets. Ryan from Hoops Addict was even nice enough to stack the deck in Round 1 and put Shane up against that annoying P.O.S. Matt Harpring of the Utah Jazz, a team I hate so very, very much. Not surprisingly, Shane is kicking that Georgia Tech ass all over the brackets. Meanwhile, Chuck has a more difficult matchup against Ronnie Turiaf - and as of this posting, Chuck is maintaining a slim lead.

So ... what are you waiting for - go stuff the ballot box! And when finished, you can always go check out Chuck's free throw form again for some laughs.

Ron Artest - not a dummy

2008-07-31T17:14:00.005-05:00

Nothing makes for better locker room chemistry than the new acquisition sucking up to the best player on the team...

"I'm not demanding anything," Artest said. "I will play in Houston [this season] and I will have a great year and they will have the first option to re-sign me. This is a big opportunity because I'm going to be playing with the best center in the game."

Damn right!

Do I sense a big group hug coming? I do!

Dime Magazine Article on Yao

2008-07-31T14:05:00.002-05:00

I'm late to posting this, mostly because I've been slacking on my blogger duties, but here is aPlayer To Watch piece on Yao.
Dime

Ron Artest - Why this guy?

2008-07-31T08:29:00.015-05:00

So let me get this bit of information out there quickly. I'm not an Xs and Os basketball guy, yes, I know them, but in my mind, "plays" in basketball work about 4 times a game, and usually they are just where did the screen get set or who gets the ball on the inbound and then who cuts where. My point is, this is going to be a little more visceral than tactical. Let's start with the basics, who is Ron Artest?

Ron Artest
Born on November 13, 1979 in Queens, New York

Attended La Salle Academy, more known as the school the Archdiocese of New York and Chicago went to than for basketball

He then went on to attend St. Johns where he took the team to the Elite 8, eventually losing to Ohio State in an incredible 77-74 game.

Nicknames
Crazy Pills - Thank you Hardwood Paroxysm
Tru Warier - Apparently his barber can't spell
Ron Ron - My personal favorite

NBA career

Chicago
Drafted by the Chicago Bulls in the 1999 draft, #15 overall. That draft was one of the better ones in the last 20 years. Though it was almost 10 years ago, it has produced star players of today in Elton Brand, Baron Davis, Richard Hamilton, Shawn Marion, Corey Maggette, and Artest. It also has some other big names in Steve Francis, Lamar Odom, Wally djfdzzzerbiak, Andre Miller, Jason Terry, James Posey and Andrei Kirilenko. Oh, and don't forget that the Spurs picked up Manu Ginobli with the second to last pick that year.

His days with the Bulls first sprouted my love for Ron Artest. He always seemed to be in people's faces and just did everything pretty well. When you can score and pride yourself on your defense, it's almost a lock that I will like you as an NBA player. The Bulls were terrible, but with Elton Brand and Ron Artest I thought they had a shot to really turn the team back around. Sadly, after lucking into Jordan and Pippen, the Bulls personnel moves have left something to be desired. He and his 13 PPG, 4 RPG, 3 APG, 2 SPG and .5 BPG were traded to Indiana along with Brad Miller, Ron Mercer and Kevin Ollie for effectively Jalen Rose and nobodies. That's right, they traded 3 guys still in the league for Jalen Rose.

Indiana
In Indiana he was now on a team with Jermaine O'Neal, Reggie Miller, and Al Harrington. Enough has been written about the Malice in the Palace, so I'm just going to get my quick two cents in and leave it alone. Throwing a cup of beer at someone means you get punched. That's just the way it is. It also was 90% Ben Wallace's fault, there, I said it. Prior to the "brawl" he was around 17PPG, 5RPG, 3APG, 2+SPG, and .7BPG and was the second best player on the team. It's really a shame that the fight happened, as he was producing some incredible number in the first 7 games that year, 24PPG, 6.5RPG, 2SPG and 1BPG. After the fight it was obvious that something needed to change in Indiana, and though they were expected to contend for the title the year of the fight, they couldn't let the team stand as it was. Well, they couldn't after Artest demanded a trade anyway. Artest was traded to Sacramento for Peja Stojakovic.

Sacramento Kings
When Artest arrived in Sacramento, the team hit the ground running. He was a perfect fit for Rick Adelman's offense and more importantly, his team's previous lack of defense. The Kings were 18-24 when he arrived and finished the season 26-14 to clinch the 8th playoff spot. They played the Spur tough, but ultimately they were too much. The next season Adelman was fired and the Kings went through a tough season. Ron upped his averages across the board, but it wasn't enough, the Kings injuries left them out of firepower. Artest had a good year last year as well, again upping his averages. He has pretty consistently improved ever year he has been in the league, and with each team he's been with, his averages in his last year were better than his averages in his first year with them.

Houston Rockets
On August 14th, we should find out that this trade has gone through, after that, a new chapter in Artest's career will be born.

Why is he a fit?

Okay, tell me that this guy isn't a fit?

Let's pretend for a second that you didn't know about Artest's past. Let's pretend all you were doing is building an NBA team. You have 2 legitimate superstars and 2 good to very good players behind them. Would you want a guy that is 28 and has these numbers?

Career

PPG - 16, 18 over his last 3

RPG - 5.1, 6 over his last 3

STL - 2.1, 2.2 over his last 3

AST - 3.2, 4.2 in his one season with Adelman

BPG - .7

FG% - .425, .431 over the last 3 including .453 from behind the arc last year and .440 the year before that

The answer to the above question is "Of course you would".

What position can he play? Is all of them good enough for you? Okay, so he can't play C, but you can legitimately see him playing every other spot on the court. And save for PG, he has. He is a natural SG/SF with incredible post up skills and strength that allow him to play PF as well. Now, lets go back a while, what were the Rockets biggest needs?

1. A SG/SF that can spell Tmac and provide offense at the SF position. Someone that is versatile enough to come off the bench or start.

2. A top 10-12 PG

3. A backup center to Yao that can learn from him at a young age.

So, if you are scoring at home, Daryl Morey just fixed the Rockets NUMBER ONE PROBLEM! That's right, he fixed the biggest gaping hole we had. And you know what? It also partially fixed number 2, because Rafer's deficiencies are masked greatly with a third scorer. It means he won't have to, nor will he have the chance to try to, take over a game on the offensive end. Morey actually went above and beyond the number one need because he got a guy that can not only spell TMac, he can actually take over Shane's starting spot. Now I think everyone that is reading this knows how much I truly like Shane Battier. He brings everything he has to the game every single time. Unfortunately high potency offense is not something he has.

Where does he play? How does he fit on the court?

So if he can play SG/SF/PF consistently well, what will he play? The beauty of it is, anything Adelman feels in a given night can be the answer. John Hollinger says that the Rockets want to play him at PF, I say that's not going to happen that often. Definetly not often enough to point it out as your biggest scoop. (I really like Hollinger, so no knocks, he had what he had to write). Here's the most logical starting lineup:

PG Rafer

SG TMac

SF Crazy Pills

PF Scola

C The Great Wall

Seriously, who has a better starting 5 than that?

Let's see (And I'm not sure if I'm being a homer or not here):

AR - Advantage Rockets

AO - Advantage Other Team

E - Even

AR+ or AO+ means big advantage

Pacific - Absolute Nos - Warriors, Clippers, Kings

Lakers - PG Farmar (AR), SG Kobe (AO), SF Odom (AR), PF Gasol (AO), C Bynum (AR+)

This may prove to be the closest out there. Rockets have 3 advantage points in my eyes and two for the Lakers. Farmar just isn't that good, but he's young and definitely has potential. Kobe is Kobe, without Artest on the Rockets, I call that big advantage Lakers, but I'm giving TMac the benefit of the doubt here. Artest is better than Odom, plain and simple. As for Gasol, I'm not a huge fan, and his numbers, while better than Scola across the board, weren't that much better once Scola started. Over the last month, Scola was a 14 and 9 guy and Gasol was a 19 and 7 guy. It's a difference to be sure, but certainly not a huge one. And let me remind you that this was Scola's first season in the US. Yao is much better than Bynum pre injury and he's infinitely better post. Overall I'd call the teams pretty even right now, with a slight edge to the Lakers for going to the finals last year and now getting Bynum back. This starting lineup vs the Rockets is a toss-up to me, not clearly better, not clearly worse.

Suns - PG Nash(AO+++), SG Bell(AR+), SF Grant Hill (AR+), PF Stoudemire (AO+), C Shaq (AR+)
On the surface, this looks like it should be closer than I really think it is. Nash is now 34 and due for a back break down, but he's infinitely better than Alston. Bell and the 35 year old Hill aren't even close to Tracy and Artest, they just can't do anything with that. Bell's defensive skills aren't enough to handle both players and one will surely go off on the offensive end. Stoudemire is a big advantage, especially on the offensive end. He's the one place no other team in the league other than Boston can truly counter. Luckily, he goes into offensive and defensive lapses a lot, though I do think this is the year that stops. I still believe the Shaq trade was terrible, he's become a charicature of himself off the court and a shell of his former self on the court. It happens to every great center (except Abdul Jabbar somehow) eventually. At this point in time, hell for the last three years, Yao has been head and shoulders better in every way except offensive fouling and not getting called for it. In the end, the analysis says that the Suns would be competitive with the Rockets, but the Rockets should win any series they are involved with Phoenix in.

Northwest - Absolute Nos - Nuggets, Timberwolves, OKCDurants

Trailblazers - PG Jerryd Bayless (AR), SG Brandon Roy (AR getting slimmer though), SF Outlaw/Webster (AR), PF Aldridge (E to AO, not sure here (Go Horns!)), C Oden (AR+)

Here is a team that I legitametly like. They are extremely young at every postition and have a new PG and a new C on a team that threatened to make the playoffs for 2/3rds of the year. They will go through their growing pains, but I fully expect them to take over for the Nuggets as the last or second to last team in the playoffs this year. Bayless will take some seasoning and Oden is coming off microfracture surgery, but by mid season I think this team will be over .500 and really getting on a decent roll. Overall I won't breakdown each spot, the Rockets are just the better team, but in two years, if they can keep the team together, the Trailblazers and the Hornets (same team issue for them contract wise) will be the best two teams in basketball. This year though, the Rockets have the advantage.

Jazz - PG Williams (AO+), SG Brewer (AR+), SF Kirilenko (AR+), PF Boozer (AO), C Okur (AR+)

I have chronicled many times how much I hate the Jazz. They have beaten the Rockets the last two years in the playoffs, once without Yao, and both without Artest. Mark it down, there is not a chance in the world that this team is better than a healthy Rockets team, none. There is no one that convince me that if Yao had played that the Jazz would have won the series last year, add in Artest and it's over Jazz fans! I'm talking to you MyUtahJazz and SLCDunk! Luckily for you, the Jazz will be a 4th or 5th seed again, so they won't have to face the Rockets.

The East

Absolute Nos -Philly without Iguodala and Miller, Atlanta, Indiana, New Jersey, Chicago, Charlotte, Milwaukee, New York, Miami

Just nos but could be competitive - Orlando, Cleveland, Washington, Toronto, Philly with Miller and Iguodala

Celtics - Yep, they are good, but they are in the East so I'm not sure I care that much.

Pistons - Old, beatdown, not going to do it this year either. They will blow this team up either this year or next

The Rockets own division - The Southwest Absolute No - Grizzlies

Spurs - PG Parker (AO), SG Ginobli (AR because Ginobli really comes off the bench), SF Bowen (AR+), PF Duncan (AO+), C Oberto (AR+)

This is a tough one to break down, as I truly believe the Spurs may be close to done. Not getting Corey Magette may have made them finally too old. They have two clear advantages at PG and at PF, but Duncan is not who he used to be. He can still turn it on, but much like McGrady can dissapear at times. No one notices it, because Duncan gets props even when playing poorly. Ginobli isn't better than Tracy, but the advantage is not huge in the Rockets favor, but it is an advantage nonetheless. Bowen isn't better than Artest by a long shot, he's not even better than Battier. Oberto is not in Yao's league. Overall, the power has swung away from the Spurs in the Southwest, the Rockets and Hornets both will be better this season. They've had a great run, and could just be one medium trade from being back in it, but for now, they are a solid 3, mabye 4 in the Southwest.

Mavericks - PG Kidd (AO), SG Terry (AR+), SF Howard (E), PF Nowitzki (AO+), C Dampier (AR+++++++++)

After trading Devin Harris, this starting 5 got old in a hurry. Kidd is on his last leg, though his last leg is better than a lot of players' first leg. Terry just doesn't have what he used to, and coming off the bench again may be what is best for him. Howard is very good, he's basically Artest's offensive game without all of his defense. I called it even, but the more I think about it, the more that's probably an advantage for the Rockets. Obviously Dirktastic is a great player he's a standout in this lineup versus the Rockets, and I think he'll have another strong year. Dampier sucks, he's not the best and in the West you could make a case for him being in the bottom 5 starting centers. Yao is kind of good on the other hand. They have another year to gel with Kidd, but I can't see them rising above the number 3 spot in the Southwest. The Rockets and Hornets have clearly better teams right now.

Hornets - PG Paul (AO+++), SG Peterson (AR++) SF Stojakovic (AR), PF West (AO), C Chandler (AR)

That brings me to my pick to make the finals last year, and the team I think stands in the way of the Rockets to make it there more than any other. Paul is the best PG in the league. I honestly think he's the best since Nash, and before Nash since Magic. I think he's better than Nash now, and will be much better when it is all said and done. Rafer can talk shit, but he can't back it up in this matchup. Peterson is a semi-weak link for them, and at a postion they can't afford to have a weak link. Stojakovic is going to get abused if they play him against Tracy or against Ron Ron. Artest can also completely shut him down on defense and let Tracy get the points in this matchup. West is clearly better than Scola, and that's no knock on Luis. West was arguably the best true PF in the West last year. Chandler is good, but he won't be alley-ooping nearly as much when Yao plays under the basket against him. This lineup vs the Rockets is a toss-up to me, not clearly better, not clearly worse.

Okay, I'm done, that took me forever to type. On to a few links:

Sacbee - Kings Blog

This blog gave us soundbites from Artest before Yao spoke and after. Either way, he's happy to come to the Rockets as long as he is wanted. Ron Ron, you are wanted man.

Right after the trade

Q&A with Artest after Yao Spoke

After Artest talked on the phone to Yao -In other words, no big deal. He wants to be a Rocket and knows whos team this is.

Houston Chronicle

Yao right after the trade - My take on this is that Yao is a million miles away and was just wondering outloud about chemistry. He didn't say he didn't like Artest or that he didn't want him. Yao is a smart man, he just wants to make sure the team will work. I believe he thinks chemistry with anyone is possible, just wants it to be known that it is needed here. After reading it all a second time, Yao actually seems to be excited. Let's not forget that English is his second langauge.

And for the final piece of why Artest; From Yao:

“For some reason, I like (Artest),” Yao said. “Because in the games we play
against him, I hate him.

Liking a player because you hate them on the court is a supreme compliment

Richard Justice, man, I want to like you, you're a Horn afterall, but come on, don't make a big bullshit statement saying you hate the trade and then the next day say it makes complete sense. Seriously, where is your credibility? If you are going to do that, at least say you thought about it and were wrong. It's okay to be wrong occasionally if you are willing to admit it.

Sactown Royalty - Just check out the whole place, Ziller and his group are the class of bloggers

The tribunal of the badasses

2008-07-30T16:14:00.006-05:00

So apparently Yao and Luis Scola are text messaging buddies. Which has to be interesting considering that neither of their native languages is English. Then again, both men are complete and total badasses... so it would only seem natural that they would seek each other's counsel and opinion following monumental moments like the Artest trade.

Yao: "For some reason, I like (Artest) ... Because in the games we play against him, I hate him."

"When I text messaged with Luis, we talked about team chemistry. That's only what worries us."

"We worry about the new attitude to the team. We are adding talent to the team and we need that, but building team chemistry is important. This is not bad. I don't mean he is not welcome to Houston. But a new player always needs some time."

"Also, he was the biggest part of a team in Sacramento. He was a star player. We need more chemistry and more communication."

---

Translation? Hey, Crazy Pills, you're cool... but you better help us win and not f--k up a good thing we have here. And you better pass me the freakin' ball when I am open.

Also interesting to note -- I guess T-Mac isn't worthy of being involved in the Yao/Scola conversation. He's still a "star" player of sorts, but apparently he lacks the requisite badass characteristic to be part of this particular tribunal.

Things that make me like the Artest trade more

2008-07-30T08:09:00.002-05:00

I wake up this morning... only to be re-affirmed in my belief that the Artest to the Rockets trade is nothing short of brilliant, and likely to work out quite well.

How is that you ask? Simple.

A certain no-talent-ass-clown does NOT like the trade.

Which almost guarantees that the trade will turn out great for us!

A short recap... the person in question liked the following recent Houston-based team trades/acquisitions:

a. Ed Wade
b. Miguel Tejada
c. Jason Jennings
d. Ahman Green
e. and he probably liked the Philip Buchanon trade, too

and let us also not forget that Mr. Justice still laments the Mario Williams draft pick. His heart is not complete without a little VY in his life...

Apparently the Rockets aren't allowed to draft anyone but nice guys. Someone failed to tell Justice that very, very, very few "winning" teams in the NBA, MLB or NFL comprise a majority of "nice guys".

Michael Jordan - not a nice guy. Not at all.
Muhammad Ali - awesome dude. Just not very nice all the time.
most any HOF-caliber football player - not nice. Not at all.
(This is why David Carr sucks - he's too nice)

Is Ron Artest a "nice guy"? Hell no. I think even he'd admit that himself.
But... Tracy McGrady *is* kind of a nice guy.
And he's 0-7 in the first round of the playoffs.
Yao is a nice guy, too... and that's been the criticism of him for years.

Soooooo... which is it?

I like having likeable dudes on my favorite teams.

... but I like winning more.

Welcome, Crazy Pills!

2008-07-29T22:24:00.005-05:00

Ron Artest... a Houston Rocket?

If the rumors are correct, that means we get a 20+ ppg player who is also a former DPOY to match up with Yao, Shane, Scola and Battier. All this because we sneakily drafted/acquired a rookie who put up 40 in a summer league game. I don't think one single meaningless game has ever had such a profound potential impact on the future of our franchise.

This. Is. Awesome.

The only problem is that Ron and Shane basically play the same position. And that position is not point guard. Which means we still have guys named "Rafer" and "Luther Head" on our roster. And not Bobby Jackson. Which means we don't have a point guard. Hmmmmm... awww, the hell with it. Daryl Morey once again showed tonight why he's a genius!! He'll figure something out.

Damn, I am for the first time this offseason really (really) excited for basketball season again! I can't wait to face Utah again now. Just try those bully tactics with Crazy Pills to deal with. It won't work like it did against Tracy. The other added bonus is when T-Mac starts to whine and moan, we are going to have a locker room enforcer to tell him to man up and quit being an Initech employee.

Again - This. Is. Awesome.

We now welcome to the family a Tru Warier.

More to Come but: It looks like Artest to the Rockets

2008-07-29T20:31:00.001-05:00

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/bk/bkn/5914062.html

I have to say, if this is true, and if Morey gets Artest for Bobby Jackson, a first round pick (which could be in the last 4 now) and Donte Greene, then he is a golden god.

I'll write more tomorrow, including why Artest is the perfect fit for this team.

50% of Yao ... still better than everyone else

2008-07-29T15:08:00.006-05:00

I have returned!

The Great Wall has returned, too. Sort of.

Yao Ming scored 21 points in a warm-up game yesterday. And he did it in only 28 minutes. And he also did it on only 10 shots (are you taking notes, Mr. Donte Greene? You don't have to take 30 shots to get 20 points!!). And he made his free throws (are you taking notes, Mr. Joey Dorsey? No? Well, at least get the stripper to take notes *for you*!).

It's good to have the big fella back. Yes, from everything I have read, he looked rusty and slow and not anywhere near good game shape. And the game was against Angola, who once again did not bring spears with them. Yeah, yeah, that was a terrible joke - and only Charles Barkley can get away with it. I still thought it was funny. Even 12 years later.

Anyway, within that first link, you'll also see that the other resident Rocket badass, Luis Scola, had 23 points to lead Argentina past Iran.

Wait, what? Iran has a basketball team?? Uhhh, okay.

Back to the point though...

Yao is back. And somewhat healthy. At least healthy enough to walk around and make 80% of his shots. I'll take that.

Meanwhile, T-Mac is moping around town talking about "winning" to Stephen A. Smith. Why would you direct complaints to SAS? All he's going to do is twist your words around and yell about it on ESPN or whatever journalistic medium was most recently dumb enough to give him a forum. Furthermore, if you want to win so bad - why would you be so eager to get traded to the freakin' Detroit Pistons? 2004 was a long time ago, dude. That team is old and slow now. And they just signed 2001 Draft Bust Kwame Brown (that's his full name now, by the way). Not to mention they have a rookie coach trying to keep Rasheed in check. Good luck with that.

Teams that are not winning next year include Detroit... apologies to my Pistons fan friends. But not too much of an apology - you guys did distract Shaq enough to win four years ago.

I do think it's funny to see that things have not changed much in the last year. To recap:

1. Yao Ming is a badass.
2. Luis Scola is a badass, too.
3. Tracy McGrady remains the Cowardly Lion.

Oh, and Stephen A. Smith?? FOAD.

Yao and LinkedIn

2008-07-18T08:50:00.002-05:00

I'm a day late on this, but here is some information I got from LinkedIn:

Link to Yao's Question
Yao's LinkedIn Profile

On Thursday morning, July 17th, Houston Rockets' player Yao Ming will post a question on LinkedIn, an online professional networking site with more than
24 million members. This is the first featured question that an athlete has ever posed on LinkedIn.
Unlike some celebrities and athletes that use flashy profile pages on other sites as a way to publicize their glamorous lifestyles or latest sneaker designs, Yao decided to create a profile on LinkedIn to help others (by drawing attention to his foundation) and to reach LinkedIn's professional audience.
Here's the question that Yao will be asking LinkedIn users on Thursday:

Playing basketball has allowed me to realize my dream of playing in the Olympics. It has also given me the ability to establish a foundation that can help people in need. Has participating in sports made an important difference in your professional life?

Five people who answer Yao's question on LinkedIn will be selected to win 20 raffle tickets each from The Yao Ming Foundation. The winner of the overall raffle and his/her guest get an all-expenses paid trip to the Beijing Olympics to see Team China play Team U.S.A.. They will also get to see a Houston Rockets game and meet Yao afterwards.

Yao is asking LinkedIn members the question in an effort to promote The Yao Ming Foundation (www.theyaomingfoundation.org). The foundation was created by Yao to support the rebuilding effort in China (after the deadly earthquake that hit the Sichaun province in May) and to create youth programs in both China and the United States. Yao's presence on LinkedIn will also help him draw attention to a raffle that he is running to help benefit the foundation.

Yao Back, Summer League and Other Notes

2008-07-17T11:57:00.005-05:00

Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming Yao Ming
Yesterday Yao Ming took part in a warm up game for the Olympics with his native Chinese National Team. He put up 11 points in 12 minutes and looked rusty by all accounts that aren't full of crap. AP on ESPN article here I have no idea if Yao is rushing back at all, but it seems to fall in line with what most thought, he'd be out until July or August, and here we are right in the middle. My hope is that he doesn't play any more in the warm ups, but I highly doubt I get my wish. And since that is the case, I'll just amend it to say that I hope he plays less than 15 minutes in any non-Olympic game before the NBA season starts. Yao and Lebron also have a pretty cool new Coke commerical out (h/t on the video to Clutchfans)

Summer League Game 2 Action
Unfortunately I did not get to see last nights game, because, well... as much as I love the Rockets, I can only watch so many Summer League games. They are BRUTAL in a lot of ways to watch. I can read a box score though.

1. Greene Machine
Donte Greene had his inevitable fall back to earth. He shot 4-17 (3-8 from behind the arc, so 1-9 inside it) and scored 17 points. I know we've been watching Tracy McGrady for a long time, so we all know that this was not a good 17 points. Greene also went from 0 turnovers in game one to 4 in game two. He did go 6-6 from the line though, so that is nice.

2. The Midget
Great to have a better game from Aaron Brooks. He shot way too many times and not so well at that, but he had 7 assists and only 2 turnovers. MUCH better than Monday's debacle of a game for him. Brooks even cut down on on his fouls from 9 all the way down to 3!

3. The Guy I'm in No Way Thrilled with
Joey Dorsey made his debut last night. I have no idea why I didn't realize the issue on Monday is that he didn't have a contract. Dorsey is still without one, but the Rockets have insurance in place in case he gets hurt so he will play the rest of the Summer League. He went 4-4 from the field, but paired that with a cute 0-6 from the line. He had 14 rebounds, but they were almost all nullified by his 6 fouls and 6 turnovers. I want to like this guy, but he was a lazy bastard in college, played for a coach I think is sleazy and I just genuinely didn't like him before he was a Rocket. But Joey, I tell you what, I'm going to put all your stripper loving, lazy stuff behind us. From now until you screw up, and hopefully you never do, I'm going to try and like you.

4. My parents loved the letter A Leunen
Like I said, I didn't get to watch the game, but it sure seems like Maaaaarty is better than I was hoping for. 17 points on 5-9 shooting (3-5 3s and 4-5 FT) and 5 rebounds for him. I don't think there is any room on the roster for him, but maybe later in the season, or even next season we'll see how he make the NBA transition

Stephen A Smith
F you. Actually, F you and anyone that employs your pathetic excuse for an NBA reporter existence. First of all, screaming something louder makes it seem more wrong, not all of the sudden un-idiotic. Second, Tracy telling you he just wants to win does NOT mean "I want to be traded". It means, I want to win. You cannot extrapolate out that now he'd "Welcome a trade to Detroit". All you can take out of that is that he wants to win, period. And guess what fuckstick, he IS winning in Houston. 55 times just last year alone, even 22 in a row. Yes, they lost in the first round, but no Yao had at least a little effect on that, don't you think? In short, you are the worst NBA reporter with any sort of exposure that I've ever seen, please stop talking completely. Actually, stop talking, writing, typing or even using sign language.

Luther Head
Yes, I saw that Head was selected to the USA Select Team, no I do not think he deserved it. Here is my hope: Luther plays phenomenally, moves without the ball and shoots lights out. This in turn ups his value to a stupid GM, somewhere that has a low 2nd round pick up for grabs and the rights to someone they can't sign even. Then we trade him and get him off of the Rockets. Personally like him as just a guy, but not as a basketball player on my team. It's all business

Rockets vs Cleveland in Summer League Action

2008-07-16T09:55:00.003-05:00

Catch it online at NBA.com at 9:30PM CST

The Cavaliers roster looks terrible, so I'm thinking the Rockets win by 10+

Greene drops 40 in Summer League Action

2008-07-15T07:35:00.005-05:00

One day after agreeing to his slotted contract offer, Donte Greene showed his range last night shooting 5-10 from behind the arc, and 7-10 inside it. Put that with 11-12 free throw shooting and it adds for 40 points. He also had 3 assists, 3 rebounds, 2 steals and 0 turnovers. That's right, the guy shot 20 times and didn't commit a single turnover. Now, I know what you're thinking, "It's the Summer League, no one plays defense", and partially you are correct. The problem with that assertion is that in the Summer League, these guys aren't exactly polished yet, so turnovers are inevitable, even if it's one bad pass, or a good pass where the other guy didn't make his spot in time. The rest of the team shot 47 times and turned it over 13 times, Greene went 20 and 0. His 3rd assist of the night to Leunen put the Rockets on top for the first time all night, 98-97 and Houston went on to win 100-97.

(h/t to Clutchfans for the video)

Other notables from the night:
Maaaaaaarty Leunen had 16 points and EIGHT fouls
Mike Harris was a beast scoring 21 and boarding 13, to go with his 6 fouls. I thought there was no way he'd be making the team this year when he came on a the end of last year. Now I'm not so sure about that.
Joey Dorsey was a DNP last night

Little known fact: (h/t Clutchfans)
Since 2004 the Rockets are now 20-1 in Summer League play

My shout out to our Aggie readers:
Your boy Joe Jones was the antithesis of good last night. He shot 0 times and rebounded the ball once. He did somehow manage 5 fouls in his 11:44 on the court. Or for the mathematically challenged 1 every 2.34 minutes or so. I still think he has potential in the NBA though, everyone has a tough night.

The worst stat of the night:
Aaron Brooks posted 9, that's right 9, fouls. I'm guessing he's in a cold bath still after the beating he delivered and I'm sure he received. Brooks did not have a good game, shooting 4-14 and had a 4-6 Assist to TO ratio.

One Released, One Signed on, Minor Trade coming?
Loren Woods was released from his contract after requesting to be yesterday. Morey said that he appeared to have a big deal to play overseas and he didn't want to hold him back. They quickly signed Chris Daniels out of Texas A&M-Corpus Christi. He was the Southland player of the year and went undrafted. Morey also stated that a minor trade would happen within the month. I think he's getting rid of Novak, Head or Hayes, maybe more than one of them.

My personal pet peeve of the Summer League: Get these guys some jerseys that are better than the local YMCA kids league. If you are on the Rockets Summer League team, you deserve a Rockets jersey.

Another reason I love the NBA:
Slotted cost for a first round pick. This rules on every level. No hassles, no ridiculous singing bonuses, and a guarantee that you get a guy for 3 years.

Ron Artest:
Yes please! If you don't like Artest as a player, then you know less than you think about basketball.

Links:
Clutch written recap at Clutchfans
NBA.com writeup
Box score
Rockets Summer League page at NBA.com

I guess I missed this(Nike - Hyperdunkrecoverycenter), but isn't this a little cold after the McGrady dunking over James Felton article recently?
And if you haven't seen the article, it is a must read.

Make plans for the parade! Brent Barry a Rocket!

2008-07-11T08:36:00.005-05:00

Just like his dad and his brother........
Brent Barry could not resist playing for the Houston Rockets.

Allow us to be the first to welcome the missing link...

the important "3rd scorer" we've been talking about since May...

the player who can create off the dribble and pressure the defense...!!!

SCHEDULE THE CHAMPIONSHIP PARADE!!

Oh. Wait a second...
[checking biography for Barry, Brent]

Hmmm, the Rockets signed a 36 year old white dude to a 2-year contract.
A dude who plays no real defense.
A dude who is going to profit from ONE good game in the playoffs....

yeah, maybe we should all take a moment.

Relax.

Breathe.

Calm the #(@*& down.

Let's realize that while Brent Barry is going to be a nice addition to the rotation, he's NOT the missing link or the final piece to the championship puzzle. Yes, he can shoot threes (but so can Novak!). Yes, he's very good shooting free throws (but so can Yao! Though I do like this part of Barry's game, too.) Yes, he's got a championship pedigree (but so does Robert Horry... who just happens to also be a free agent!)

Yeah, maybe it's just me but I don't get the fascination the Rockets have with Brent Barry. He is no longer the dunk champion guy he was a decade ago. He's a nice role player - and role players are important to championship teams, but if he was that important, don't you think San Antonio would have made more of a push to keep him?

So, uh, yeah, in conclusion - I sorta like this signing by the Rockets. I don't completely understand it, but it's not going to backfire on us the same way the Corey Maggette signing is going to backfire on the Golden State Warriors. It's a safe play by Mr. Morey.

But we're still going to need that 3rd scorer...
no rush on that.

Yao Ming is quite the multi-tasker (raffle info)

2008-07-09T17:50:00.003-05:00

I just received this from a rep of Yao Ming.
(The hidden good news is that Yao must be healthy enough to play some basketball already and we'll get to see him face off against the United States in just a few weeks!)

... enough stalling, here's the info:

______

Yao is going to be having a raffle to help provide relief for the earthquake victims in China. The grand prize is for the winner and a guest to be Yao ’s special guest at the 2008 Olympic Games and get VIP treatment. In total, the winner will receive:

Winner and Guest will receive 6 nights 7 day hotel accommodations in Beijing China (Single Room, Double Occupancy, From August 7, 2008 to August 13, 2008)
Winner and Guest will receive roundtrip airfare from any international airport worldwide to Beijing
Winner will receive a $1,500 cash stipend for meals and expenses
Winner and Guest will enjoy a Team China vs. Team USA Olympic Basketball Game
Winner and Guest will each receive an autographed Official Yao Ming NBA Jersey
Winner and Guest will enjoy a meet and greet with Yao Ming in the United States after attending a Houston Rockets NBA game (at a mutually agreed upon time)
Winner and Guest will enjoy a Guided Tour of the Great Wall of China

*** Winner will also receive a cash prize in the amount of $3,995.00 to mitigate the Winner's tax liability that results from winning the raffle. This prize is withheld and paid, on behalf of the Winner, directly to the IRS ($3,300.00) and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts ($695.00)

The auction ends July 21st.

The Website is: https://www.celebritiesfor charity.org/raffles/raffle _yao.cfm

There are people who doubt Daryl Morey?

2008-07-09T09:07:00.005-05:00

/beginning rant... NOW.

The NBA draft came and went a couple weeks ago... with the Rockets picking up a couple of players likely to contribute in the near future... and a third player who we'll all forget about this time next season. Today marks the true beginning of the Free Agency period. Or at least the "official" beginning to Free Agency.

The Rockets, not surprisingly, have been minor players in this market.
Very, very minor.

So, stumbling around the Chronicle this morning, I saw this interesting little post. Apparently, some people don't trust Daryl Morey to get the Rockets moving in the right direction. More specifically, I saw this quote in Mr. Campbell's column:

"a lot of fans are skeptical or downright pessimistic Morey will deliver. Is that indicative of the sentiment of thinking Rockets fans, or are you willing to wait and see?"

Really? There are legitimate, intelligent Rockets fans who think Morey is not capable of delivering?? Who are these people so I can interview them and expose them as frauds?!? We're talking about Daryl Morey... the man who brought us Aaron Brooks and traded up to get Carl Landry in last year's draft. The GM who shortly after the draft brought us this wonderful image:

Yeah, Luis Scola is a badass. And he was acquired by a badass GM... and Morey did all this in his FIRST season as GM. In a city where we've had to watch Tim Purpura and Ed Wade destroy the talent level on the Astros, I can't believe there are people out there who question and doubt Morey.

Sure, the T-Mac/Yao combination has yet to produce a playoff series victory. That's more of an unfortunate bit of timing and scheduling than a lack of talent. Does anyone doubt the Rockets would have won at least a couple playoff series if they were shifted over to the Eastern Conference?

Along those lines, what is it that we can reasonably expect Morey to do? The Rockets had the 25th pick this year -- they were actually willing to trade *up* to acquire Donte Greene (according to all reports). Instead, Morey did his homework... traded *down* in the draft... still acquired the player he was targetting AND got more players/picks in the process. That's genius-quality stuff there. I just wish more people noticed and appreciated it!

And yet...

"How much do you trust the GM who got Landry as a second-round steal — and whiffed on his acquisitions of Steve Francis and Mike James?"

Let's break this down. Francis and James were acquired for next to nothing. We dumped Juwon Howard to get James. And we gave Francis as close to the minimum contract as possible without insulting the guy. They were calculated risks... which didn't pay off exactly. Though we did turn James into BobbyJ, and when Francis was healthy last year he had some very good moments in the 4th Q. One game against the Knicks he practically willed us to victory. And Francis is still on the roster... we have nothing to lose there. It's a complete freeroll.

But I guess the simple-minded fan is just sick of seeing this:

sure, yeah, from a macroscopic viewpoint, it sucks that the Rockets haven't delivered in the playoffs. It sucks that Morey isn't exactly the Wizard of Oz who can deliver T-Mac a heart. Or courage. And it sucks that Morey isn't a doctor who can magically heal Yao's freak injuries.

To that I say: be patient. Dynasties are not built overnight. The best transactions are the trades that don't make big headlines. And sometimes the smartest thing to do is to not make rash decisions that decimate the quality and character of a team and have decades-long impacts (see, e.g., Thomas, Isiah - New York Knicks 2003-2008). Our boy wonder GM is like a genius or something. He has given us every reason to believe he is trustworthy. The Rockets are going to make the playoffs barring another unexpected fluke series of injuries. And any "moves" to be done might better be completed in February than in July.

training camp starts in a few months... and I'm certain we will like what we see come November.

/end rant.

Summer League Team Announced and Carl Landry Notes

2008-07-02T11:15:00.005-05:00

Yesterday the Rockets set the roster for their summer league team:

Aaron Brooks - PG
Donte’ Greene - SG/SF
Joey Dorsey - C
Maarty Leunen - SF/PF
Mike Harris - SF/PF
Loren Woods - C
Lanny Smith from UofH - PG
Joseph Jones from A&M - PF
Russell Robinson from Kansas - G
Dijon Thompson out of UCLA- SG/SF
Mark Tyndale out of Temple - SF
Gustavo Barrera out of Uruguay.

I had not seen the Joseph Jones or Lanny Smith pickups before that. While I'm a professed Longhorn grad and fan, I really like Jones and hope he can do something in the NBA. He'll be a good backup 4 for someone down the road I believe.

I am wondering if Landry will join this team if he signs in the next few weeks. That would make a lot of sense for his seasoning, but given all the forwards on the team, as it already stands, it might not. The Rockets may want to see what the other guys can do. I've been hearing rumors that Landry is working on his outside shot, and if so, that he could potentially move to SF. That would be a move that would help the Rockets if he can seriously improve his shooting and somewhat improve his handles. I don't see it actually happening, but hell, it's the off-season, a guy can dream, right?

I'd also like to say this to Mr. Landry's agent, STFU. That's right, STFU. Stop spouting off that Carl Landry is getting all kinds of offers, it's not true and it will eventually hurt your client. As a guy with only one client you are not allowed to even attempt to bully a team. All that will get you is fired by your one client. Don't be stupid, negotiate with the team that can give you the most money and that fits your client's game very well. Figure out what similar players have asked for, then ask for that plus 5%, don't go asking for that times 3 which is effectively what $8MM a season is. Your client has proven that he can play well when given minutes, he's also proven that his knee is a hazard to an NBA club's payroll.

NBA Draft - buyer's remorse?

2008-07-02T10:38:00.003-05:00

I've now had almost a week to process all the manic activity that was the 2008 NBA Draft.

I'm relieved I do not have to cheer for Pip.
Very much so.

I'm quite stunned that the Rockets got Donte Greene.
Very happy about this.

Greene looks to be a keeper. The dude appears to have been a fan of the Rockets before we drafted him and was utterly disappointed when the 25th pick came and went and two french dudes were drafted before him. For a time, I shared in his disappointment. But, as we've been saying for months now, our boy Mr. Morey is like a genius or something - managed to turn the 25th pick into Greene AND Dorsey AND another pick in '09...

even though the Rockets were more than willing to trade up in the draft to acquire the rights to Mr. Greene. Who legitimately has NBA skills and has been compared to all sorts of different players ranging from Tracy McGrady to Rashard Lewis to Kevin Durant. Yes, we all know he's a "project" player, but what else did we expect from the 25th pick in a draft completely lacking in sure-fire no-doubt can't-miss prospects?

That said - this entry is not about Mr. Greene...

I'm worried about Joey Dorsey.

The news is only getting worse about the Rockets' chances to re-sign Carl Landry. Certainly, drafting Joey Dorsey was intended to give the Rockets options if Landry decides to get too cute in his contract negotiations. (And, yes, I *definitely* want Carl Landry to come back -- if only for us to be able to use "Luis Landry" tags in the future. Though I do *not* want the Rockets to commit $8M+ per season for his services. That's just bad business.)

If another team takes some crazy pills and does offer Landry $8M or more per season... the Rockets would be looking at a PF rotation of Scola (who is a badass), Chuck Hayes (who I like, but I like winning more) and... Mr. Dorsey. Uhhhh, yikes.

Why am I worried? Well....... I don't really have any inside sources in the NBA. But I do have some people I know who knew Dorsey quite well during his stay in college. The moment we acquired him, I got messages ranging from:

1. He is a pretty big baby and doesn't put in the necessary work;
2. He has/had a stripper girlfriend but wasn't exactly faithful;
3. He likes to "make it rain" all over town.

Did we just draft a 6'7" 265 lb. NBA version of "Pac-Man"??? Uh, oh.

On the flip side....... it turns out that Dorsey already knows Tracy McGrady and they've been friends for a while. I have no idea if this is a good or bad thing -- but it is worth noting. I've just never considered T-Mac to be the mentoring type. Besides, Dorsey's rep has always been that when he plays he is good -- but that it's hard to get him truly motivated to play. With the NBA full of distractions (read: groupies and parties), can we really rely on Dorsey to get his act together and give us what Carl Landry gave us in '07/'08?

I'm not sure... I'm just sayin' I'm concerned.

I just might have to buy a new jersey!

2008-06-30T15:05:00.003-05:00

Was stumbling around on the Interwebs yesterday...

when I ran across this gem of an article.

Allow me to quote the great Robert Horry:

"I don't want to retire, especially after a year like I had last year,''
...
"I didn't get a full season in like I wanted to see if it's really time for me to retire. My last game I want to walk off the court sweating. My last game so far I walked off the court with a DNP (did not play) and I don't want it to happen that way.''

This makes me all happy and sad all at once. And you may ask - why is that? Well... first, I would love for Mr. Robert Horry to return to the Houston Rockets for his last season. That would be super badass. Horry could teach Luis Scola and Carl Landry - and now Joey Dorsey - all sorts of tricks of the trade (yes, even the sneaky playoff hip-check on former MVP Canadian players - you can never trust them with their beady eyes and flapping heads).

........ also, Horry's return would allow me to go buy another awesome Rockets jersey!!

[here I would have inserted a preview image of the Horry #25 jersey, but apparently the NBA store can't let me speculate on such things - I can't even order an Horry #25 jersey right now if I wanted to. What kinda bullshit is that??]

Moving along, on the flip side - there are at least three reasons why my reaction to this Horry news is somewhat muted:

1. The Rockets have a glut of power forwards.
2. Horry can't exactly teach T-Mac how to be clutch.
3. Horry appears to be the last person to know that he's done.

Yes, I am sad to admit, but even *I* think Horry should hang it up. It really sucks that he got a DNP-CD in his last game. It really sucks that he made exactly 0 FGs in the series against the Lakers. It really, really sucks that Horry might have to beg and plead for a job. But... Horry should retire. San Antonio is not going to sign him. The Rockets are highly unlikely to sign him. From the sound of the article -- those are the only places he's really considering. And as bad as last season was for the future Hall of Famer... I really don't think he has another "good" season in him... the league is not kind to 38 year old situational power forwards. You have no idea how much it kills me to type that.

I'll just choose to remember the good times:

Better late than never: Rockets trade Pip!

2008-06-29T16:14:00.002-05:00

(sorry for not having a post up on Friday... or Saturday... or earlier today. I was not anywhere in town - and even further away from an Internet connection, e-mail or newspapers. It happens.)

From what I've read and been told upon my return earlier today -- the Rockets wised up and traded Nicholas Batum aka Frenchy aka Pip. I feel so relieved. And I really like what we got in return... according to Lee it breaks down like this:

Rockets get - Joey Dorsey and Darrel Arthur from Portland
Portland gets - Batum
Memphis gets Arthur and the Rockets late pick
Rockets get Donte Greene and Memphis's 2009 2nd rounder

Rockets ultimately get Donte Greene, Joey Dorsey and Memphis' 2nd rounder in '09.

This is excellent news!

Greene was one of "those guys" that I was hoping we would have an opportunity to pick. I'm quite happy with that. Now, while we didn't get CDR (who Morey apparently knows something about that I don't) - we did end up with his teammate Dorsey. Even if Dorsey is probably better being loaned to the Texans for a while (see what I did there? He's built like a football player!!!).

The interesting thing about Dorsey is my cousin used to be the Memphis trainer... which is probably why I was biased towards us drafting CDR to begin with. This is close enough I guess. Though it does create quite the backlog of power forwards for us:

Scola
Landry
Hayes
Greene/Dorsey

??

I guess this allows us to use some leverage against Carl Landry if he's truly seeking more than $4-5M a year -- we heard rumors he might ask for upwards of $10M a year... if so, I like you Carl, but you're not worth that. Sorry. It also might provide us insight on what the Rockets plan to do with Chuck Hayes (since he is no longer starting and presumably still can't shoot free throws. Of course, we all know that Dorsey is just as bad at the stripe... it is just not as ugly as Chuck's shot.)

So, in conclusion, I am happy with the result of the draft for the most part.

Alas, Rafer and Luther are still technically on the roster. Which is a problem. But the Rockets maximized their draft picks again and have added to the team's depth. That's about all we could do considering we could not draft Rose or Beasley.

And... the Rockets draft Pip

2008-06-26T21:09:00.003-05:00

So, Courtney Lee doesn't fall into the Rockets figurative lap.

But CDR did.

What do the Rockets do?

We draft Frenchy. F--k!

This is really going to test my newfound trust in you, Morey!!!
(How did we pass on CDR for Pip?!?!?!)

edit: rumors are starting to spread that the Rockets might trade Batum. I was wondering why we would take a teenager on a roster filled with veterans looking for a missing piece. I still maintain that CDR has the skills we are looking for (can create own shot, can attack the basket and also make mid-range jumpers)... we shall see what happens.

The Requisite NBA Draft Live-Blog!

2008-06-26T17:18:00.001-05:00

Head on over to Ridiculous Upside for the
live blog...

hopefully in the next six hours, Luther Head will be an ex-Rocket.

Trade Rumors

2008-06-26T16:37:00.002-05:00

From Chad Ford's draft watch:

The Wizards have been talking with several teams about trading down in the
draft. Talks with the Pistons last night ended up going nowhere. The latest has them talking about a swap with the Rockets that would send No. 18 to Houston and No. 25 to Washington.

What I've been reading is that the trade is Houston's 25 and Luther Head for Washington's 18. That should allow us to have our pick of Lee, CDR or Hibbert AND get rid of Luther Head, seems a win-win for the Rockets.

Hope springs eternal: it's Draft Day!

2008-06-26T10:15:00.003-05:00

Pursuant to NBA Blogger Law section 1995.4(a)(ii)(D)(3)... I'm informed that I am required to at least make a token entry/post regarding the 2008 NBA Draft.

Yeah, it's true - the NBA Draft is tonight!!!

For those that are really into the draft... and mock drafts... and trade speculation... and more mock drafts - I can only assume you've been visiting Ridiculous Upside with regularity and also waiting with baited breath each week for the next version of Chad Ford's guaranteed-to-be-wrong mock on ESPN.com.

(I only mock Mr. Ford because he keeps assigning the Rockets some random french dude each week as our likely pick... even though reports are that said french dude has heart issues. Yeah, that sounds like a smart 1st round pick to make to me. Even though I fell for it in the mock draft we participated in...)

Here are some goals I can only hope the Rockets have heading into tonight:

1. Trade Luther Head.
2. Do not draft Pip.
3. Find the next Carl Landry.
4. See what the market might be for T-Mac.
5. Do not use a 1st round pick on a tall, white center.
(Those guys never work out).

In addition, when the Rockets are on the clock with the 25th pick (which, I'm guessing will be around 8:30pm or so CST)... here are the players I can only hope are still on the board and available for us to pick:

1. CDR.
2. Roy Hibbert.
3. Donte Green.
4. Brandon Rush
5. Mario Chalmers.

Look, I do not expect the Rockets to stumble into the next Kobe... or T-Mac... or Monta Ellis... or even the next Sam Cassell (24th pick in 1993!) with this draft pick. I only expect Daryl Morey to maximize the value of the draft. Trade up if you can. Trade down if necessary. Find a diamond-in-the-rough in Round 2. Morey is like a genius or something, so I'll trust that he can meet these simple guidelines.

Of course, I must include the disclaimer that this time last year I was pissed that the Rockets passed on Big Baby and Nick Fazekas to draft a midget. That midget turned out to be Aaron Brooks - who turned out to be a decent player as a rookie. Not bad for a Chris Rock look-a-like. I can at least admit now that I was wrong to be angry with the pick (and hey, how was I to know Morey was going to acquire super-badass Luis Scola just a few weeks later?!?!?). Like I said, Morey is a genius or something and I've learned to trust his instincts.

I guess I am just anxious to see what 18-22 year old future millionaire will be wearing the Rockets jersey in October. Hopefully the next Robert Horry (hey, I need a new favorite player since Horry is probably going to retire!).

Shaq Versus Kobe

2008-06-25T12:22:00.006-05:00

So let me get this straight:

Shaq and Kobe have both gone to the finals once without the other and lost. Shaq against one Mr. Hakeem Olajuwon and the Houston Rockets, Kobe this year versus a 60 win Celtics team that was not as good as he made them look

They won 3 titles together, 2 in which I thought Kobe was the dominant player and 1 in which I thought Shaq was.

And at the age of 34, Shaq won (really was handed it thanks to DWade and the NBA refs, and I don't think anyone would mistake me for a Mavs homer) one without him.

Yet for some reason Shaq thinks Kobe only won because of him, I could easily say that Shaq only won because of Kobe and DWade (definitely the case with Wade). AND Kobe has FIVE prime years to go to match what Shaq did.

So, what exactly has been proven?
I'm going with:
1. Not a damn thing as far as what Kobe can do without Shaq
2. Shaq is a dumbfuck (though a funny one).
3. Shaq<<<<<<< Hakeem (Just had to get that in there)

When the worst case scenario happens

2008-06-20T16:33:00.005-05:00

Lee and I participated... somewhat... in the mock draft sponsored by the Hardwood Paroxysm guys who now are moonlighting over at Ridiculous Upside. The Rockets have the 25th pick, and I am quickly learning that this is going to be a really tough spot to find a player that will immediately contribute to next year's Rockets roster.

Oh, and not to kill the suspense, but you can see our pick and our rationale for said pick here.

I really, really hated having to make this pick. We couldn't find a recent photo of our draftee. Here's one of him from third grade though:

This french piece of crap better be as good at basketball as he is at dodgeball.

Some offseason fun

2008-06-19T09:59:00.004-05:00

A few links from some friends of the blog

First up: TMac saving a dude that's falling

From Carolyn over at blog Cleveland: Yao's flippin sweet new kicks
I actually really want these, though a 6'3 bald headed white guy wearing these might not work out as well as I think it would in my head. In my head I rock them and I have to beat ladies off with a stick. In real life I'd be a guy with a dragon on his shoe and get looked at funny.

In other news:

Dave and I are participating in Ridiculous Upside's NBA Mock Draft currently. We pick for the Rockets tomorrow at 8AM. As I write this the following players have been picked:

The 2008 SB Nation Mock Draft so far:
1. Chicago Bulls- Blog-A-Bull: Derrick Rose
2. Miami Heat- Peninsula is Mightier: Michael Beasley
3. Minnesota Timberwolves- Canis Hoopus: OJ Mayo
4. Seattle Supersonics- Ridiculous Upside: Eric Gordon
5. Memphis Grizzlies- 3 Shades of Blue: Kevin Love
6. New York Knicks- Posting and Toasting: Russell Westbrook
7. Los Angeles Clippers- Clips Nation: Jerryd Bayless
8. Milwaukee Bucks- BrewHoop: Anthony Randolph
9. Charlotte Bobcats- Queen City Hoops: Joe Alexander
10. New Jersey Nets-Nets Daily: Brook Lopez
11. Indiana Pacers-Indy Cornrows: DJ Augustin
12. Sacramento Kings- Sactown Royalty: Marreese Speights
13. Portland Trailblazers-Blazers Edge: Brandon Rush
14. Golden State Warriors- Golden State of Mind: DeAndre Jordan
15. Phoenix Suns- Bright Side of the Sun: Danilo Gallinari
16. Philadelphia 76ers- Ridiculous Upside: Darrell Arthur
17. Toronto Raptors- The Dinosty: Chris Douglas Roberts
18. Washington Wizards- Bullets Forever: Roy Hibbert
19. Cleveland Cavaliers- Waiting For Next Year: Courtney Lee

So, no Rush, no Hibbert, no CDR, no Courtney Lee, and obviously no Augustin (anyone that doesn't think he is clutch isn't paying attention). So, we are kind of stuck with a project/backup center. I think we need a backup center, but if the draft were to really play out like this (it won't) I'm pretty certain we will be trading the pick.

What say you, who would you pick?

Robin Lopez is still there, he has skills, and his biggest deficiency is FT shooting to me, luckily Yao can teach him that
Donte Green is still left and he could be the next Robert Horry, 6’10, plays SF, but he would need to work on his 3pt shot a LOT, he could be an absolute steal this late
Mario Chalmers is a decent college PG, but I’m not sure we will draft a PG, but overall I hate his assist numbers and his A/T ratio even more. I'll pretty much tell you right now we won't be picking him
JaVale McGee I don’t know enough about

And if we have to take one of the Frenchys I'm going to be pissed.

The better team won, but........

2008-06-18T08:41:00.004-05:00

Here are a few observations I took from the NBA Finals.
Which mercifully ended with a 40 point killing in Game 6.

Anyway, as follows:

Good God, Simmons is going to be unbearable for the next 5 years.

At least Rajon Rondo didn't break Robert Horry's record for steals in an NBA Finals game. Horry had 7 against Orlando in 1995. Rondo came up just short with 6, though not for the lack of help from the Laker reserves.

When the hell did Kobe turn into T-Mac? Seriously... I know the "bailing out the defense with a bunch of needless 3-point shots" offense when I see it! That's T-Mac's trademark almost!

(Lee's comment to that? "There is no such thing as a T-Mac impression in the NBA Finals." So true...)

We just saw Phil Jackson get pwn3d by Doc freakin' Rivers. Red Auerbach must be laughing his ass off in the afterworld right now. Do they allow cigars up there?

JVG was about to have an aneurysm doing the commentary for the game. The Lakers were playing an excellent version of the matador defense. Giving up in the 2nd quarter in the NBA Finals? Shameful.

Hey, Kobe... even Joe Johnson was able to create his own shot against the Celtics. AND he took them to 7 games. I don't know what it means other than "I will never compare you to MJ ever again." Nor should anyone else. And I am a huge Kobe fan!

The NBA season is over. That sucks. But ever since the Rockets got dismissed from the post-season I haven't had much motivation to write. Guess I get to focus on the draft now!

(Please, Mr. Morey - don't draft the French guy! Please!!!)