A day of praise for those not quite good enough

The NBA All-Star starters were announced over the weekend. Yao and 9 other dudes made the lineup for the East and the West. Meanwhile, T-Mac can make different weekend vacation plans this year.

Sometime today, the rest of the All Star rosters will be announced. No, I do not expect T-Mac to be named as a reserve either. T-Mac even said he doesn't want to be on the team. Because I have to wait another day for the Rockets to play, and the Pacer/Rocket preview will be posted tomorrow when I find the time... today I present who *I* think should be named to the All Star team (and let's just say it's decidedly different than Marc Stein's opinion).

Western Conference

starters: C- Yao, PF - Duncan, SF - Carmelo (??), SG - Kobe, other G - Iverson (he sure as hell isn't a point guard).

This leaves seven more positions to fill, 2 guards, 2 forwards, a center and two "miscellaneous" types to reward those for good behavior who weren't quite good enough to be obvious picks.

Guards

Chris Paul
Steve Nash

Anyone who suggests anyone else to be a guard on the Western team is off smoking crack with the aforementioned Mr. Stein. CP3 is having the best statistical season for a PG since Kevin Johnson was rountinely tossing out 20 points and 10 assists a game for Phoenix. And the Hornets would be the #1 seed if the playoffs started. Paul is in. Nash is Nash... even though I don't trust him with his beady eyes and flapping head, he's a two-time MVP who is actually playng better this year than in the MVP seasons. Besides, if I didn't pick Nash, he'd probably charge at me with his hockey stick or whatever weapon he might be carrying.

Forwards

Dirk Nowitzki
Carlos Boozer

Dirk is obvious. Reigning MVP for a tough Dallas team who is once again one of the best players in the NBA. Easy decision. Boozer is not so easy. I hate rewarding disloyal guys who stab blind men in the front for more money. Plus he went to Duke. Fuck him. And yet... Boozer is playing out of his freakin' mind this year. Double-doubles are overrated, but he's a league leader there. Aw, hell, I hate talking about Jazz players. Moving along. Sorry, T-Mac, I can't pick you either. It would be wrong and shamelessly homer-ific of me.

Center

Chris Kaman

Anyone who says "Marcus Camby" can bite me. For that is the wrong answer. He wouldn't even be in the top 3 choices for reserve center. Amare Stoudemire, Chris Kaman and Tyson Chandler are ALL playing better than Camby. Camby is great at rebounds, blocking shots, and leaving the guy he's guarding open while he tries to block shots. He is not great at scoring points or contributing in other ways. Sorry, that's not all-star worthy to me. My pick is Kaman. The Caveman plays on an injury-riddled team that's missing Elton Brand. So what does the Hogan look-a-like do? He starts playing like Elton freakin' Brand! Much respect. And it allows Yao to crack jokes about how you can't f--kin' stop him all weekend. I can't overlook that.

2 more

Well, I gotta pick two more to fill spots...

Amare Stoudemire
Brandon Roy

Stoudemire plays no defense at all and is generally perceived to be quite the dumbass. But he's exactly what we want to see in an All-Star Game. So, he's in. Brandon Roy has led a very, very young Portland team to a potential playoff run. And he impressed the hell out of me last week during the Rockets victory over them. Sorry, Deron Williams, no way I put two Jazz players on my roster. And Baron Davis? I saw his 6-22 effort on Tuesday... no way he's an All-Star over these other guys. Stephen Jackson? I like you, but no. Manu? Mr. Eva Longoria? Oh, hell no - Timmy made you guys famous, and if I put any other Spur on the roster we all know it would be Robert Horry. Spare me your sob stories!!

Projected MVP? CP3. Or Kobe. One of the two. Kobe is the only guy who takes these games seriously... and CP3 is playing at home.

What's that? You want to know who I'd pick for the Eastern Conference? Uh, other than KG and LeBron, who gives a shit? the Eastern Conference sucks and I only want to know who makes the East roster just to make sure that the Fat Ass does NOT make the team. Even though he's begging and pleading, yet his own coach doesn't fully support him. Shut yo' trap, Shaq. You are not an All Star anymore.

Scola is in!

Not only is Luis Scola now a starter for the Rockets...

but he's also been named to the T-Mobile Rookie Challenge and Youth Jam "Rookie" team!

(I think the true challenge is just saying the full name of the sponsor for the game.)



Scola seems very excited to be honored in this way...

of course, I don't expect Scola to do much in the game itself other than grab a few rebounds, throw a few elbows and maybe start a skirmish or two. Scoring points? Unlikely - for the odds of Durant actually passing the ball are non-existent.

Oh, and Aaron Brooks got hosed in the selection process.

Notes from the couch

Rockets damn near gave me a heart attack last night. Up 21 at one point... then losing 102-101 with a few minutes left in the game. No one guarding anyone shooting 3s for Golden State. Scary stuff. A few notes though:

1. Yao is a beast. An absolute Godzilla according to Deadspin. 36 points (season high), 19 rebounds (season high), 14-15 from the FT line (see, that's how it's done, T-Mac!). Granted, the 7 turnovers are a concern, but the Warriors were fouling him on every play and the refs let 'em play rough. So be it.

2. Rafer almost had a freakin' triple double. But, of course, he had to take 19 shots to get there. Yao got 19 shots, too. Let's compare... in 19 shots, Rafer scores 17 (on 7-19 shooting, and 2-8 from 3-land). Yao doubles that effort in the same amount of shots taken. Again, why is Rafer shooting 8 times from behind the line? Shane and Novak were hot... yet Rafer kept chucking.

3. Luther Head had 20. And again disappeared in the 4th Q. This is bothersome. Very. At least he made his free throws.

4. Scola is starting now! Yes! Finally!

5. Where was Carl Landry in the 4th Q when we needed defense and inside scoring?

6. Why is everyone slurping Baron Davis on a night when he goes 6-22 from the field? Sorry but he's not an All-Star. Not with all the stud guards in the West (Kobe, CP3, Nash, Iverson, T-Mac, Deron, Mr. Eva Longoria, etc.)

7. Wait a second.... Carl Landry only went 3-6 from the field? When did he start missing shots?!?!! His shooting percentage just dropped like a rock!

8. Novak is great in his 5-10 minute bursts. But then you have to take him back out of the game, Ricky...

9. No T-Mac, no problem. That flu is a killer though.

10. Rockets win! 25-20 now!

We've been saying this for months... and years!!

Hey, Jerome Solomon, I like you. I like your blog on chron.com (the only Rockets "news" worth reading on the Chronicle's page). You seem more grounded in reality than Richard Justice.

BUT - stop espousing ideas about how Rafer is "inconsistent" and is the main problem with the Rockets like it is an original idea. Yeah, I saw your post today on Rafer. I wonder if you've seen the hundred or so "Rafer Alston sucks" entries we've made here. And we've been saying he sucks and is the problem for three years now. We just didn't use this blog as the main forum for our complaints until this past November.

Seriously, just click on the "Rafer Alston sucks" tag below and see how we've beaten you to this conclusion many times before today's little diatribe!!

Jordan v. Hakeem - who wins?

So, yesterday I was patrolling the blogosphere as I usually do on Mondays during lunch...

Where I stumbled into an article on The Big Lead about the Lakers/Cavs game from Sunday (i.e. Kobe v. LeBron). In the article, there was a backhanded statement about Michael Jordan being "the greatest winner in the modern era." Which I thought was rather presumptuous.

Naturally, I felt compelled to immediately comment that Robert Horry - and not Michael Jordan - is the greatest winner of the modern era. Last I checked 7 rings is more than 6 rings. Seems like simple math to me.

(Yes it kills me to link to a picture of him in an evil Spurs jersey, but... uhh...)

My comment for some reason started a "Robert Horry? Are you kidding me?" level of response from fellow commenters. To which I said, "hell yes, I am serious!"

I do not dispute that Michael Jordan is the greatest NBA player of the modern era. I'm not even sure who else would be in the discussion with him if the modern era is the mid-60s and beyond. But Jordan is NOT the greatest "winner" of the era. Of course, this led some random Bulls fan to post the following comment:

"I point out that if Jordan had not retired twice in the 90’s, the Bulls would have swept that decade."

Yeah, we all know that is b.s. Everyone wants to dilute the awesomeness that is/was the '94 and '95 Houston Rockets back-to-back championship teams. You know, the Heart of a Champion and all that good stuff. Damn I miss Rudy T. Anyway, my counter-argument was this:

"If Kenny Smith could make a f--kin’ jumpshot against Seattle in Game 7 in 1993, the Jordan-era Bulls only two-peat the first time around."

The early to mid-90s Bulls were great, no doubt. But the Rockets were a nightmare matchup for Jordan and Pippen. In 1990/1991 through 1992/1993 (i.e. the first three-peat Bulls teams), the Rockets went 5-1 against Chicago. Yes, Jordan played each game. Mad Max did an admirable job keeping Jordan below his seasonal averages and forcing MJ to take more shots than he normally did. Meanwhile, Pippen (as usual) could not win important games by himself and no one on the Bulls roster could contain Hakeem or Otis Thorpe.

Really, look for yourself:

Game 1 (1991): Rockets 114, Bulls 92
Game 2 (1991): Rockets 100, Bulls 90
Game 3 (1992): Bulls 114, Rockets 100 (dammit!)
Game 4 (1992): Rockets 105, Bulls 102 (Jordan held to 22)
Game 5 (1993): Rockets 110, Bulls 96
Game 6 (1993): Rockets 94, Bulls 83

Rockets were 5-1 versus the intial three-peat era Bulls. And only one of the victories was "close" and could be deemed a toss-up. Like I said, Mad Max could match up with MJ (not "stop" him per se, but just keep him from treating the Rockets like he did LaBradford Smith). Meanwhile, Hakeem would be able to run wild versus the Bulls lack of size and talent in the middle. Then again, NO ONE could stop Hakeem from 1991 through 1995. Or do I need to link to the David Robinson clip again? I think I do.

The problem with the Rockets in the early 1990s was that we matched up *horribly* with the Seattle Supersonics. Gary Payton routinely abused Kenny Smith. Shawn Kemp routinely abused Otis Thorpe, Carl Herrera and whatever other tall body we threw at him. Detlef Schrempf always made clutch shots against us, and so did Derrick McKey. We just had major problems with that one particular team. And yet we somehow extended the series in 1993 to Game 7...

where Kenny Smith somehow failed to remember that his only job was to make open shots. Naturally he missed and sent the game to overtime whereby we'd end up losing. In high school I was asked to write an essay on my "most disappointing moment in life" - Kenny Smith missing that jumpshot was my Moment. I once saw the Jet at a movie theater a few years later and my mom had to prevent me from taunting him about that shot.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, the Bulls. If Kenny somehow makes that shot - the Rockets would have made it to the NBA Finals (please... we'd have beaten Barkley and the Suns just like we ended up doing in '94 and '95). Where we'd have matched up perfectly with the Bulls and been able to stop the first three-peat from ever happening.

1992/1993 Houston Rockets roster:

The 1992/1993 Chicago Bulls roster:

Starting lineups of G: Kenny Smith, G: Mad Max, F: Robert Horry, F: Otis Thorpe, C: Hakeem Olajuwon v. G: BJ Armstrong, G: Michael Jordan, F: Scottie Pippen, F: Horace Grant, C: Bill Cartwright.

It would be an epic matchup. I've already explained how Mad Max would check MJ. Kenny Smith and BJ Armstrong is a wash. Horry scored enough and was athletic enough to stay with Pippen (though Pippen would likely outscore him a little, and out-jackass him by a lot). Otis Thorpe and Horace Grant were basically the same player. And no one could stop Hakeem. Who, oh by the way, SHOULD have been the MVP in 1993. Check the stats.

The only true empirical evidence we have proves that the Rockets were a nightmare matchup for the Chicago Bulls. A 5-1 record with only one close game. The only thing going for the Bulls would be that Sam Cassell would not arrive in Houston until the 1993/1994 season. That's why Jordan retired. He knew the run was inevitably over!

I still can't believe that's been 15 years ago. Wow.

Major Mistakes and How You Correct Them

A few days back I did the midseason awards article and I meant to have some predictions in it. I didn't, and I haven't forgiven myself yet. I even ran stairs today to punish myself. Without further ado I present to you:

The Dream Shake How the Rockets Will Finish the Season Prediction Chart

That's right, you read it here first, I'm predicting a 10 game winning streak. I even went with the old school Red and Yellow because this is the type of run the mid 90s Rockets would go on.

Interestingly, Dave and I had different ways of getting there, but we both see something pretty close to the same.

Now go out and prove me right gentlemen and Rafer.

I'll take a few please

I'm still ignoring last nights frustrating game for the most part, but I might find less anger later and post about it.

A few things were apparent last night. Yao has to be the focal point of the offense and when he is, the rest of the guys have less room for stupid shots.

So, I was checking out TrueHoop this morning and it contained a link to a Washington Times Article.

In it was this excerpt:

SEEN AND HEARD
In addition to a rigorous offseason training program, Wizards forward Caron Butler attributed his career-high 21.5 points and .481 shooting percentage to the work of shooting coach Dave Hopla, who joined Washington's coaching staff this season.
One of the elements of Hopla's expertise is shot charting, which is new to Butler and his teammates. It allows a player to see the spots on the floor from which he's shooting well — or poorly.
"It lets me know what I need to work on," Butler said. "And with the percentage now, I know from the floor, I'm shooting like 80 [percent] from 16 on in. It gives me confidence. I can come to a spot on the floor and know it's a good shot. I can be like 'Coach, I'm shooting 80! It was a good shot!' "

To which I have to say:

Deja Vu all over again

... and not in the good way.

I could have sworn that last night's Rockets/Jazz game was a video replay of Game 7 from last May. All the same symptoms were present... Boozer and Deron Williams making tough shots in 4th Q, Yao not being a factor, Rocket D leaving the token white guy shooter open for Utah. And - most importantly - T-Mac shooting us out of the game, pussing out again, and not making any attempt to take the ball to the basket and draw contact/fouls.

Then I was horrified when I recognized new players who weren't on the team last year. But there was T-Mac, making the exact same mistakes again.

It's been 8 months, T-Mac. Have you learned NOTHING?

(I went to ESPN looking for photos of T-Mac from yesterday... there aren't any. Probably because he was shooting from 28 feet away the whole game and not in range of the cameramen.)

Tracy, why are you shooting SEVEN (7) threes in any game? Especially when you only made one?

Oh, and Rafer, you sucked again, too. 4-13 FG (0-4 from 3, nice!), again taking time away from Aaron Brooks. Ugh.

God, I hate the Utah Jazz. This will not make for a good Monday morning.

Marc Stein, what are you smoking?

I just read the Weekend Edition of ESPN's Daily Dime while watching the Rockets versus the Salt Lakers (I just can't call them the Jazz anymore). Here's what Marc Stein had to say about the West Reserves after picking Camby as his reserve:

"But I still say Camby has had the best first half of any center in the West. He has had more all-around impact on his team, even, than Yao in Houston."

Say what now? Marcus Camby? Really? That is insane. Camby is an extremely competent NBA player and one of the best defensive players in the league. But here are the stats this season so far:I know stats aren't everything, but this is pretty telling. Yao has been the entire team for a good stretch of this season, a pretty solid stretch for the Rockets at that. He's a better shooter by 5% and actually has to carry the load for the team getting double and at times triple teamed. He also shoots 17% better from the line. On top of that offense he averages 13 more points per game. All these stats don't even take into effect a simple fact, Camby is the third player on his team, a team that includes two All Stars in Melo and The Answer. The next time they expect him to score at all will be their first.

Here's the biggest point of all this "all around impact" horseshit, Camby's ONLY job is to play defense and rebound, it's impossible for him to ever have a better "all around impact" on anything because his game isn't rounded at all. And in case you were wondering, he only gets 3.7 more rebounds including .1 better on the offensive glass where he has no responsibility but to rebound. And his blocks are 1.7 more a game. Can anyone imagine how big of a beast Yao would be at blocking shots if players weren't allowed to charge into him like they are not allowed to do to Camby?

Just as an aside, this year the Nuggets are have had approximately 102 possessions a game to the Rockets

97 possessions a game. Those 5 extra possessions could make up some of the slack for Yao on the rebounds as well.

I cannot imagine any logical person stating any center not named Dwight Howard has even had a season close to Yao, much less better. And while I can imagine it, those that would say Howard can say it, but they'd be wrong. In summary, you're opinion is not on point here Marc.

Yao Out

I've been away from the computer for pretty much the whole day helping my sister and brother in law move in to their house, I come home and my reward for good deeds is Yao being out for the Jazz??

He has an upper respiritory infection. This is uncool: ESPN Story

10 Things I Hate About You (Utah Jazz)

In light of Heath Ledger's surprising death this week...

Hey, FU - it is a really good movie. Anyway, here are 10 Things I Hate about the Utah Jazz:

1. Jerry Sloan.
Seriously, does anyone really like this guy? He's a complete bully. His players respect him only because he does know a lot about basketball, but there has to be a better way to get the message across. He constantly berates his own players, the referees, and even the fans. He encourages his players to flop and play dirty. He is homophobic and vengeful. I'm actually glad he's never won NBA Coach of the Year. Fuck him and the tractor he rode in on.

2. Karl Malone and John Stockton.

Yes, I threw a party the day Karl Malone retired. I admit it.

These two fuckers made me hate basketball for a long time. Hakeem, Otis, Horry and Clyde constantly had to deal with their dirty tactics and flopping. Karl Malone was the worst. He was a 6'9", 260 lb. power forward who would fall down, flail his arms and whine whenever a 6' tall, 180 lb. guard had the audacity to touch him. Pussy. Ask Isiah Thomas. Malone is a coward and a wuss.

Stockton gets a little more respect, but he was still pretty much everything that was wrong with basketball in the 90s. He had no problems throwing elbows, stepping on your feet... anything to get a slight advantage. If you tried his own tactics on him, he'd act like he got shot, fall down and bait dumbass referees into calling an offensive foul. Sam Cassell was dragged down by his jersey in the playoffs - but Stockton undercut him and got the foul called on Cassell. What a hypocrite. Damn I hate the Jazz.

3. Larry Miller.

Yeah, the owner. F him, too. He's always got a problem with something. And I can't overlook the Heath Ledger/Brokeback Mountain/Miller refusing to let it play in his theater issue, either. He was the enabler for Sloan, Malone and Stockton. And now he encourages dudes to stab blind men in the front for money. Speaking of...

4. Carlos Boozer.

If this were a college basketball blog, there'd be a few "I hate Duke, too" posts, but it is not. I can still hate Duke alums (you're cool though, Battier). Boozer, however deserves whatever bad things karma has waiting for him. Cleveland drafts you in the second round, they WANT to help you out and pay you more - even though they didn't have to. So what do you do? You agree to a contract verbally... then turn around and sign with Utah when Cleveland lets you out of your rookie deal. You, Boozer, are an asshole of the first degree. And you are one of the few things that make me regret having HDTV. You are one ugly mofo.

5. Game 7, May 2007.

This is more of a Tracy McGrady issue... but it also fed my continued hatred of Utah. Dammit Tracy, why couldn't you at least attempt a layup!?!?!

6. Shandon Anderson.

Ugh... 10 years later and you still annoy the piss out of me. You make a name for yourself by playing typical Utah Jazz basketball. Cheap, dirty and unncessarily physical. The worst part is that the Rockets had to sign you later just to avoid having to play against you. Which only served to backfire against us because you actually were never any good.

7. Game 6, June 1997.


Of course, what you don't see in this video is Malone tackling Drexler as he tries to guard Stockton. Naturally, the referees are asleep. Way to lose to the Bulls in the Finals though. Good job, Utah.

8. New Year's Eve parties.

I see this on Deadspin... Seems like a pretty fun party, huh? Exactly. The Jazz even find ways to fuck up what should be a totally kick-ass NYE party! The players actually got embarrassed by these pictures and made public statements that the party was tame and that family members, wives and kids were at this event... so very, very lame. You probably served punch and pie instead of alcohol, too, huh?

Yes, Kirilenko did not hook up with the girl in the photo. Even though he gets one free pass from his wife a year. Weak.

9. Your freakin' name.

The "Utah Jazz" were originally the New Orleans Jazz. Which makes sense. New Orleans... music... mardi gras... jazz. Seems like a good time. Then they move to Utah. And somehow *keep the same name*!?!?? There is no jazz in Utah. Your city is freakin' boring. I guess you just didn't have the creativity enough to come up with an original name. God your team and your city is lame.

10. Karl Malone.

I hate him so much he gets two mentions. Fuck you, Karl Malone.



Jimmy Kimmel's "Karl Malone" is probably smarter than the real one. Have fun hunting little mexican girls you oversized redneck.

Rockets v. Jazz - today at 6pm. Go Rockets!

I so very much hate the Utah Jazz

It's been well documented here just how much I hate the Jazz. From their name to their past players to their coach to their arena even. My problem today? Past Carlos Boozer stabbing a blind man in the front, CJ Miles fucking over my Longhorns and Jerry Sloan I have absolutely no reason to dislike any current member of the Jazz. Deron Williams is the third best point guard in the league right now behind Paul and Nash (and yes in that order, no knock on Nash, who is a bad, bad man, I just think CP3 is better now). I don't even hate Boozer because I'm positive there is more to his story than got out. Ronnie Brewer is a dirty Razorback, but he's also a damn good dirty Razorback. AK47 is a player I would take every single second of every day on my team. Okay, I forgot about Okur, I do actually hate that guy. This, on the whole, is extremely disconcerting for me. So you know what I decided? Fuck it, I still hate the Jazz.

Utah has been an extremely poor match-up for the Rockets on defense in the last few years. There was no one that could guard Boozer, and it's unfair to ask Yao to do it. And it's idiotic to say that since Yao can't guard him that he is a poor defender. Yao is a 7'6 center, he's not supposed to guard a power forward, he's supposed to guard a center. The Jazz don't happen to have anyone for Yao to guard. I'm interested to see how much of a zone we run tonight and how much Yao guards Okur away from the basket. If he does, that leaves Scola and Landry to guard Boozer. Those two guys have been playing some pretty damn good defense as of late and are the reason I caveatted us matching up poorly in the last few years. I want to see what happens with him tonight. And I will say anything under 21 points is a successful guarding of him. We also have no one to guard Deron Williams. He's too fast for any of our guards but Aaron Brooks and he's way too strong for Brooks. I'd like to see us put Shane on him, but I have no idea who guards Ronnie Brewer or AK47 in that scenario.

On the flip side there is no one that can guard Yao or Tracy on the Jazz, no one. Boozer gets used even worse by Yao than Yao does by him. Again though, it is completely unfair to ask Boozer to guard Yao and wisely they don't try it too much. Unfortunately for them Okur has no business being on the same court as Yao. I guess Kirilenko has had extended stretches of "good" defense against TMac, but that was really more due to Tracy deciding he wanted to be a pussy and not drive on him. If Tracy drove every time down the court against the Jazz he would drop 60 on them. Sadly he may be deathly injured too if his injury history of late continues.

So where does this leave us? In a high scoring affair this evening at 6:00PM CST. One I think will be extremely entertaining.

Boozer's Hammy who lives in Afghanistan and works in accounting did a good review of what's upcoming for the Jazz in the second half : Here

And C.B. jack did a thorough mid-season review of the Jazz: Here

Both guys among like 50 other bloggers do a good job over at My Utah Jazz, though with that many bloggers shouldn't it have been "Our Utah Jazz"?

Let's Go Rockets, time to kick a new tune the Jazz way.

Rookies Unite! And Refs suck

Dave did a pretty good recap of the game, but I wanted to give some props to all three of our rookies. Each was huge reason for the win last night. I'm enjoying how Coach is playing whoever has the hot hand/ sitting whoever is obviously sucking late in the game.

I want to take some time out to say this: NBA referees suck complete ass. These guys last night made mistakes that I wouldn't have allowed from my Intramural Referees I taught in college. Falling for obvious flops? Check. Making calls you did not see just because "something happened"? Check. If all else fails and you don't know who did it call the foul on the the active and/or youngest guy? Check. If the shot doesn't go in, it had to be a foul right? Check. If a guy makes a move you don't believe is possible even if everything is done right you have to call traveling? Check.

Yao had 5 fouls called on him last night, no reasonable person could look at the replay (or live for that matter on TV) and have said 4 of the called fouls were actual fouls. Two of the calls were so bad that Yao had to be pulled from the game to get him to stop yelling at the referees. Yes, Yao yelled at the refs last night, that's how poor a job they did.

And before someone tries to call me out for sour grapes, the guys last night sucked for both teams, there were some horrendous calls called against both teams. There were more called against the Rockets, but there were plenty of times I saw bad calls against the Trailblazers. I guarantee there are some Trailblazers fans out there saying they got fucked. So all this added up to me having to figure out what is going on and here is what I found on Covers.com, a breakdown of how the guys did against the spread and how home teams and away teams fared under their watch.

So the first two guys were extremely in favor of the home team. Combined the games they have refereed this year have gone 41-17 in favor of the home team. The home team also finished 36-21-1 against the spread. And they are just a little in favor of the spread, the home teams' average margin of victory is 7.5 points. So this explains why there is a decent amount of favor towards the home team in these guys' cases.

So here's why there were a lot of shitty calls on the Trailblazers as well. Forte is decidedly against the home team, 6-12 against the spread and 8-10 overall Win/Loss record for the home team. Somehow that actually works out in favor of the home team a little bit in the average scoring margin.

What's my conclusion here? NBA referees either need rules changed that will help them call the game or need some more training. Of course with shitty referees like Bennett Salvatore out there I'm not sure who is going to train them. So what rules would help?

1. Get rid of the insanely idiotic circle, it helps no one and makes referees have to call something incorrectly just because there is a line on the ground. I cannot count how many times a referee has been about to call a correct charge call and then have to call a block because they looked down and saw a guy who played defense perfectly inside the line. And, since the whistle was blown they had to call something. Get rid of it.

2. Get rid of defensive three seconds. That is not basketball, that is made up bullshit. Either allow the zone or don't allow the zone. All defensive three seconds does is make the referee look for yet another thing when they should be watching the action of the actual game. Plus if someone wants to stand in the middle they are being dumb, there is no advantage to it past being able to move a little less.

3. Rid the game of flopping. There are two ways to do this. A. Whoever initiates the contact is the fouler, that's about as basic as it gets B. After each and every game the league needs to fine players, even to the level of suspension to eliminate flops. That will keep guys on their feet, and it will help protect the players because bodies won't be flying in the same way. How will the NBA know if a guy flopped? Common sense, it's all there in the video and the body language, they just need to use their judgement.

There is absolutely no reason why these rules changes can't be made going into next season. I will be writing a letter to the NBA offices before the season is up. How much good will it do? Probably none, but I won't know until I give it a shot.

Any other rules that anyone else wants fixed?


Other things, I just read BlazersEdge for the first time. Fantastic job covering the game, I'm impressed.

Rookies Rock Rip-City!

I like alliteration. I like winning, too. Which made last night's game completely kick ass.

Rockets down 50-42 at the half. Rockets decide enough is enough (that means you and your turnovers, Rafer) and hold Portland to all of 29 points in the second half. Behind Carl Landry, Luis Scola and Aaron Brooks, the Rockets lock down Brandon Roy and the Trailblazers and win 89-79.

Yao Ming got five bullshit fouls called on him... but fortunately his fourth Q services were not needed this time.

Lee and I will probably tackle the "how shitty are NBA refs" issue sometime this week - as that is four games in a row where phantom fouls almost hurt the Rockets (specifically Yao and Landry). Hell, Luis Scola got tackled on a rebound when he had position -- and they called a foul on HIM!

Back to the game... Bill and Air Bullard named Landry and Scola "players of the game" and rightly so. When they are players of the game, the Rockets are undefeated. When Rafer is player of the game, the Rockets are like 2-15, i.e., completely fucked.

Best part of last night's game? The fact that it seems that Ricky read everything I wrote the last two weeks and took every single piece of my advice. Really:

1. Use Luis Scola. And play him more. Check!
2. Bench Chuck Hayes and play Carl Landry a whole lot more. Check and check!
3. Stop playing Rafer Alston (pretty much every post I've ever written, but........). Check!

Rafer had another beauty of a game last night. 3 of 8 from the field, 9 points, 1 assist and a whopping 5 turnovers (including 4 turnovers in 6 possessions in the third quarter - impressive!). Enter Aaron Brooks - and the Rockets quickly took control of the game.

Likely 3rd Q conversation

Ricky: Hey, Rafer...
Rafer: Yo, coach, I told you to call me "Skip" -- but what's up?
Ricky: Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!
Aaron Brooks: pwn3d, bitch!
The way the Rockets just shut down Portland reminded me very, very much of last year's team. The non-Game 7 collapsing version I mean. And also using three rookies in crunch-time. I was highly, highly impressed [and pumping my fist after nearly every play, instead of throwing things at my TV for once]. It's like JVG came back and gave a pre-game pep talk!

Hell, even Richard Justice took time away from slurping Bud Selig and giving Brett Favre the reach-around to congratulate the Rockets and the rooks.

All in all, it was quite the enjoyable Friday night in front of the TV!


Go Rockets! 24-19! First Western Conference team to win in Portland this year!

What is the word I'm looking for? Oh, yeah - "idiot"!!

Anna-Megan Raley has now turned her attention to the Rockets.

God help us.

Today's gems:

"The Rockets have won three in a row. With Tracy McGrady back for the last three games, it seems the Rockets have found their way. With a pair of wins over Seattle and a victory at home over the defending champion San Antonio Spurs, it seems as if the Rockets have their act together again."

Ummmmm... McGrady is clearly still hobbling; Seattle is possibly the worst team in the NBA and the Spurs don't pay too much attention to regular season games in January. I fail to see how this is evidence that the "Rockets have their act together again" - clearly Ms. Raley has not watched Rafer or Luther play lately. And she must have fallen asleep watching American Idol during the Hornets and Sixers games.

"The Rockets are 23-19, a winning record, of course, but they play in the best division in the best conference in the NBA."

23-19 is a winning record? Holy shit - I had no idea!

"They are fourth in the Southwest Division, and they've got to make up a lot of ground."

Please tell me she doesn't actually think our goal is still to win the Southwest Division. We are not leap-frogging Dallas, San Antonio or the Chris Pauls. It's time to re-adjust our level of expectations. Insert Jim Mora rant here.

"The Rockets play 10 games before the All Star break. They will face only five teams with losing records. Three of those games are on the road."

My favorite. Let's think about this logically - if we play 10 games, the odds would dictate that half would be against winning teams and the other half would be against losing teams, right? Oh, and yes, I should point out for Anna-Megan's benefit that in this instance, "half" equals "5". So, this isn't exactly a statistical anomaly. Granted we do get 7 games at home, but we were on the road for what seems like all of 2007. Law of averages and shit. I bet she'd be surprised to learn that when the season is over, exactly 41 of our games will have been at the House that Hakeem Built.

"Despite the rough spots and Adleman's disappointment over the inconsistency, here's what I'd like to know: Do you think the Rockets will make the playoffs, and if you do, do you think they'll advance beyond the first round?"

Uhhhh, I think Ricky has a reason to be disappointed. The team is about 15 games behind the expected pace! Yes, the Rockets will make the playoffs, but at best the 6th or 7th seed. Which would NOT make us a favorite to advance beyond the first round. That would practically make us roadkill! Unless we get moved to the Eastern Conference. What kills me in this "report" is that at no time is it mentioned that if the playoffs started today, WE WOULD NOT BE IN THE PLAYOFFS!!! So, uh, yeah, there's reason for concern!

Rockets v. Trailblazers* tonight. Go Rockets!

* note: if the playoffs did start today, the Blazers would be in the playoffs. You're welcome, Anna-Megan.

Turnovers suck

Luckily the team hasn't had too many as of late. I was reading a Feigen breakdown of the last few games lower turnover rate and saw this:

"In that stretch, I had games of four, five, six turnovers," guard Rafer Alston said. "After the Philly game, I know I made a concerted effort to not turn the ball over and be sure and strong with the ball. I noticed that my turnovers and the team's are down significantly in the past few games."

Rafer apparently hadn't noticed before that he was turning the ball over. Why in the Philly game did you need to have 6 turnovers and 9 as a team in the fourth quarter to know you were turning the ball over too much? Wouldn't the first 2-3 have been a good indication? Why do you need six? The four and then the five in the two prior games weren't bad enough to show you either? Six is the magic number? Really?

Man, I really tried to like you when you first got here, but shit like this keeps you permanently on my "I hate you as a player" list.

The Rock vs. The Trail

Tonight at 9:00PM CST the Rockets take on the Portland Trailblazers. And yes, I refuse to call them "Blazers" because Trailblazers is much more bad ass. The good guys beat the men in black and red 89-80 on November 3rd. We have won 12 of the last 16 meetings with 5 of the last 8 being on the road.

Portland has been extremely streaky this year up until the last 7 games. Here's a quick breakdown:
3 Losses - 4 Wins - 5 Losses - 1 Win - 4 Losses - 14 Wins - 1 Loss - 4 Wins

After that they have gone LWLWLWL in the last seven. That entire 3-4 stretch was on the road. Not a good trend going into their game with the Rockets as they are due for a win and are 17-3 this season at home. Those three losses came at the hands of New Jersey, Orlando and Indiana. Two bad teams and one pretty good but young team from the East (The Magic is who I'm talking about in case you haven't watched any basketball this year). So they haven't lost once at home to a West team. Oh, and they've managed to beat New Orleans (twice), Dallas, Golden State (twice), Utah (twice), and Denver so it's not like they haven't played anybody. One more point: They haven't lost at home since November 28th, also known as 2 months ago when they were 5-10. It all adds up to a 25-17 record, and the current 7/8 playoff seed, 2 games above the Rockets.

The Rockets have been on a pretty good run themselves lately, 11-5 in their last 16, and a current three game winning streak. On the road we've been a semi-respectable 6-4 , with 4 wins in a row.

What's my prediction for the game? I honestly don't have one, the Trailblazers could be hitting a wall and the Rockets could be coming in at just the right time. They also could be happy to be home and show it on the court. Team vs. Team I think the Rockets have the more complete package today, though in 2 years the Trailblazers have the talent to be the best team in the West. With a team average of 23.9 years of age the future is bright in Portland. Let it be noted that Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Channing Frye, Greg Oden, and Martell Webster all only have 2 years left on their contracts after this year. They will need to do something to keep those guys together and it remains to be seen if that is possible.

One good piece of information is that Raef LaFrentz at 12MM a year comes off the books at the same time as the others become restricted free/free agents. Seriously though, WTF was Dallas thinking when they gave him 7 years, $70MM? The NBA is luckily not as stupid with money anymore, but damn, that was dumb. He was averaging 12.9 points and 7.8 rebounds the previous year, why oh why would you sign that contract??? That's dumb on the level of parachuting without a parachute.

So, let's go Rockets, time to kick a little 23.9 year old ass!! Oh, and make up some ground on the playoffs while we're at it

An All-Star photo essay

The end.

The Best in the League!

Congratulations to Yao Ming for his sixth consecutive All Star game start this year. That's one start for every season in the league. He's the best center in the league in my eyes, and if everyone else would open theirs he would be the best in their eyes as well.

Tracy was narrowly edged out by AI, who is much more deserving this year than TMac, but about 50% as deserving as Chris Paul was. If the NBA was going to stack the ballot box for Tracy to get his wish of not playing (and I honestly 100% believe they did), why not do it with Chris Paul? I know he was further behind Tracy, but come on, you could have made an easy argument him or Nash before you did Iverson.

Congrats again to Yao, keep kicking ass big man!

Where's Waldo, um, I mean Bonzi?

Missing: Bonzi Wells, 31 y/o, 6 ft. 5 in. tall, approx. 210 lbs. (ed. - yeah, right!)

Bonzi was supposedly in the starting lineup last night for Houston - but I didn't see him. In fact, I haven't seen him since the first Memphis game in Houston (all the way back in December!). Here is the last known photograph of Mr. Wells:

From the look of it, maybe he's trying to hide? Because he's certainly not scoring points or playing any defense. Which (surprisingly) we could have used last night against the Durants. The box score says Bonzi played 19 minutes, shot 2-8 from the field for 4 points and had a solitary rebound to bookend his 2 turnovers. Yes, and he was starting in place of T-Mac.

Time to re-adjust the rotation again, Ricky. I'm okay with T-Mac off the bench. Even T-Mac seems okay with it. Bonzi is not the answer to fill-in though. Hell, even Luther Head has been more productive as a starter. Bonzi has not been 1/2 the player he was supposed to be when the Rockets signed him last year. Sure, he and JVG had their issues and I figured he'd get his shit together with Ricky as his coach. Nope. I was wrong.

Scola, Brooks and Landry are showing hustle and determination - Bonzi is at the other end of the spectrum. He and Rafer appear to be feeding off each other's mediocrity. This is not good.

With the Rockets needing to finish the season on a .750 win pace, we cannot allow Bonzi's lethargic play and attitude permeate the roster. There are too many players who have earned the right to play instead of him. (Even Rafer.) Sit Bonzi over by Stevie and Mike James. Ricky -- it's the only thing to do.

In the meantime, Bennett Salvatore -- you are now on notice, too! The Rockets pulled off a dramatic 109-107 comeback last night. Salvatore did everything he could to prevent it though. Two b.s. calls on Carl Landry - the last one on a "loose ball" rebound where Kurt Thomas got tired and just fell down. The Rockets should have had possession. Instead the dirty Horned Frog is shooting 2 free throws. T-Mac and Rafer had to make crazy dramatic 3s to overcome the referees last night. Even Bill Worrell and Air Bullard were on Salvatore's case last night.

Rockets: 23-19. Up next - at Portland on Friday. Brandon Roy? Meet Shane Battier.

Am I excited or just relieved?

I still don't know what happened last night. The Rockets didn't play bad at all, they just didn't play very well. The Sonics just could not miss until the last 5 minutes of the game. The Rockets weathered the storm and came out victorious.

Yao kept the game from becoming a blow-out with another "Yao Game", also known as 25+ points and 8+ rebounds. He finished the game at 26 and 12 with 6 assists and 1 block. Just another all around solid game. It's amazing to me that there are still people out there that do not recognize Yao's greatness. He does this EVERY NIGHT, this season he has only not scored 20 on 9 occasions and on 3 of those he had 18,19,19, so his scoring is there pretty much every game. He's had 8+ Rebounds 34 times this season, he is nothing if not consistent.

Just for fun:

You look at those stats and say: Player A and B are pretty damn close, right? In fact, this season, Player A is having arguably a better one than Player B, right? Player A is obviously Yao, Player B is Tim Duncan. Don't get me wrong, the Big Fundamental is inarguably, fuck Karl Malone, the greatest PF of all time. Honestly, it's not close. That said, Yao is great too, people need to realize this. Just think, he's 27, he's just now STARTING his prime.

Edit: (Just saw something similar over at Clutchfans, I've been wanting to work it in since the SA game, but didn't want someone to not get credit for a good idea)

Okay, enough about Yao, let's talk about TMac. I'd like to say that more players should say they want to grow up to be Tracy like KD did. Then maybe he'd play like his old self every time. He was really spectacular at the end of the game. 13-23 for 28 points and seemingly every one in the 4th quarter. He also managed 4 rebounds including a huge offensive one and 5 assists. I missed you old Tracy McGrady from your first year with the Rockets, I missed you. Now, please, I beg of you, stick around for the rest of the season! I'm going to ignore the 2 missed free throws at the end that almost cost us the game.

I also have to say, Rafer played like he was when TMac was out, and that is a very good thing, he shot WAY too much, but some of that was out of necessity since no one else early in the game, except Yao,was moving at all. His 8 assists were all pretty decent and he has ZERO turnovers. Good game all around Rafer, good game.

Last but not least I have to talk about Carl Landry. He played his ass off last night and cemented the fact that the Chuck Waggon should not be playing any more. What once was a black hole on the team, power forward, is now a plethora of awesome. Luis and Carl, welcome to the big time. Landry was everywhere, his athleticism is exactly what this team needs to compliment Luis's all out hustle. In 15 minutes he was 4-4 for 8 points, and had 2 rebounds. He also got 2 absolutely incorrect foul calls in that time and fouled out. He was so pissed off that he almost cried on the sidelines. And unlike Adam Morrison the game was over for him when he almost cried. That's some bad ass passion, it actually made me more impressed with him.

So that's a third win in a row for the Rockets and 8-2 in their last 10. Next up: Friday at 9:00PM CST - The Portland Trailblazers, one of the hottest teams in the league. I'll have a preview up today or tomorrow.

A communications barrier!

Okay, this is not Rockets related... but it is too damn funny not to pass along to anyone who hasn't seen it already.

Zaza Pachulia suspended

It's funnier to me because I could imagine Yao having a similar conversation with Rudy T back in 2002. Only with Rudy T drinking a bit while he's coaching...

(oh, and a thanks to Hardwood Paroxysm for directing us to this comedic masterpiece. )

Is the glass half empty or half full?

The Rockets back their way into the mid-point of the season at 22-19.

If we continue this pace of mediocrity, we'd finish the season 44-38, and we'd miss out on the playoffs entirely. I refuse to accept that this is a possibility. Sure, we're not going to make Hollinger look like Nostradamus - we're not winning 60 games. Not even the Celtics went on a 38-3 spree this year.

Good news?

1. McGrady is back. (Okay, I can only hope this is good news)
2. We can't really get any worse, and our schedule is more favorable in the 2nd half.
3. We still have that 7'5" dude in the middle. Someone must get that memo to Rafer and Luther though.

The Bad News?

1. We're in 10th place in the West. We can't exactly expect any of these teams to backslide.
2. We're still in a division with San Antonio, Dallas and the Chris Pauls.
3. Towelie Alston is still on our roster.

The second half of the season starts tonight in Seatte. Kevin Durant gets at least 20 attempts to show off his 39% shooting percentage and try to upset the Rockets. Yeah, that's not happening.

Time for an 80's Mid Season Review!

Well, provided I get this up before 9:00PM CST today we will still be at the mid-season mark. The Rockets have had many ups and downs. They started the season 6-1 and had a 6 game winning streak going until 2 Saturdays ago. That's 12 wins, so the rest of the season they have gone 10-18, not exactly enough to get you in the playoffs in the Western Conference. That being said, from the very beginning of this blog Dave and I have asserted that this team will not completely gel until after the All Star break. You've seen signs of it as of late, 8 wins in the last 10, 10-5 in the last 15. For now though, the good guys are 22-19, 3 games over .500, 6.5 games out of first in the Southwest Division, and 2 games out of the playoffs. I stand by my prediction that they will be in the playoffs AND win at least the first round. I think when it is all said and done we get to the sixth seed. Now, let's get to some Mid-Season "Awards"

Since the Rockets have played like a bad 80s movie this year, I thought it only fitting to give out some awards that were created from some of my favorite moments/characters of the decade:

The Daniel LaRussa Award: For kicking ass when few give him any chance, even when he proves over and over that he’s “The Best Around”: Yao Ming, though he's busy practicing so he is unable to attend.

The Officer John McClane "yippe-kay-a mofo" Award: For being a complete bad ass: Yao Ming (Note: This is Yao's second award, he is really cleaning up)

The Ferris Bueller Lazy Man of the First Half Award: "I feel like taking the day off and everyone but a select few like my sister will still love me": Tracy McGrady

The Sloth Award: Goonies is one of my favorite movies and sloth is one of the all time greatest side kicks. He's there in the clutch at the end and always seems to make a difference when you least expect it: Shane Battier

The Darth Vader in Jedi Award: A "Beautiful black visage removed to reveal a feeble, crusty old white man": Shane Battier

The Gopher from Caddyshack Award: For being scrappy, resourceful, having the ability to annoy the shit out of other players, for being just plain bad ass and you could see singing “I’m Alright, Don’t Nobody Worry ‘Bout Me”: Luis Scola

The Jimmy Edwards Wizard Award: While short and young, Jimmy Edwards dazzled when no one thought he could do it. Against all odds/playing for Oregon and somehow not knocking up a cheerleader, he rode to the top: Aaron Brooks

The Mogwai Award: You think, what harm can it do, until you realize little things like it's name meaning Evil Spirit in Cantonese/has a history of being a fuck-up, it can't go near bright light/make layups, can't take a bath/hit three pointers and can't eat after midnight/not turn the ball over at crucial times: Rafer Alston

The Howard the Duck Award: Lots of hype as it was made by LucasFilm, unfortunately only had one good aspect, Lea Thompson/shooting while not being guarded, it bombed in every other way though/can't dribble, throw an entry pass: Luther Head

The Rad Award: Great movie when I was a kid, and Lori Laughlin turned a cheesy 80s movie into a long career. Much like our award winner has turned only being able to rebound into a few million dollars in the NBA: Chuck Hayes

The Tom Cruise in The Outsiders Award: For the guy who you think looking back; "How the hell did he end up being the biggest star of that group and we didn't realize it right away"? : Carl Landry

The Goose Award: For the guy who is a fantastic sidekick and is always there keeping his friend loose/laughing on the bench. A guy who you will be really be sad to see go: Dikembe Mutumbo

The Doc Brown Award: This is given to the craziest guy around, a guy who you aren't quite sure about until it all comes together in a time machine made out of a Delorean/champion: Daryl Morey

The Norman Dale Look-Alike Award: Coach Adelman, plus he has a drunk son/assistant coach just like Dale did in Shooter.

Bartender! I'll have another one of these

I have never understood why the NBA has scheduling quirks like this, but the Rockets play the Sonics in back to back games. It truly makes no sense in this case since the teams are not even in the same time zone. I'm sure it's mafia related in some way though, just like everything Stern does, so I'm going to stop asking questions.

The good guys won a game yesterday, a game they tried to give away through piss-poor shooting, but Yao and Tracy wouldn't let their teammates get them down. I guess that's why we need TMac, to keep it together when our other guards forget that Yao is an option in the fourth quarter. Without both of these guys they would have lost as the two were a combined 19-34 for 55.9% from the floor for 47 of the 96 Rockets points. How did the rest of the team do you ask? 18-53 for 33%. Tracy missed both of his threes, but I would like to thank the good Lord that he only took 2, I can live with 2-3 a game. But more than that, unless he has hit all 2-3 of them first, is really asking for trouble. The Rockets as a whole managed 1-12 from the 3 point line for an Arctic cold 8.3%. What does this shitty shooting percentage add up to? The Sonics fucking suck.

Yao's monster line:

Yes, he's really, really good. Fuck anyone that thinks Chris Kaman can even be the cup in his jock.

The Sonics have now lost 11 straight and the Rockets look to make it 12 on Wednesday at 9:00PM CST. I loathe West Coast games, they mean I can't get my beauty sleep. And trust me, I'm a handsome devil without it, but I love me some sleep. On the plus side, maybe the Rockets will have time to wake up before they play the game this time around.

In other non-Rockets, non-basketball news, HAHA to the White Sox: Signing Dotel to a 2 year $11MM contract is just dumb

Hey, Chuck, Coach wants to see you

Rockets beat Seattle 96-89. Yao leads the way with 30 points and 17 rebounds. Oh, and 4 blocks, too. Cause he's beastly like that. Tracy hobbled along to 17 points 6 rebounds and 5 assists - a pretty strong showing for a guy who is clearly still hurting. I'll be nice and not talk about how he's going to be abused on defense by all upcoming opponents. And Carl Landry kicked ass. Once again.

Oh, Yao - this is where you use your elbow and teach Kurt Thomas a lesson. He went to TCU, and is a dirty Horned Frog, so elbows to the nose are well deserved. Pleasantries aside...

This should be the locker room conversation right now:

_______

[random assistant coach] Hey! Hayes -- Coach Adelman would like to see you in his office! He says it is important!

Okay, Coach!





[Rick Adelman] Chuck, have a seat.

[Chuck] What's up, Ricky?

[Ricky] Chuck, did you see Carl Landry today?

[Chuck] Nope, I was busy reading over my shoe contract with the company in China.

[Ricky] You have a shoe contract? Holy shit. Anyway, Landry had 12 points, 2 rebounds a steal and a block in only 14 minutes of action. It's his fourth really productive game in a row.

[Chuck] You let a rookie play?

[Ricky] Silence! Anyway, how many points did you score today, Chuck?

[Chuck] Hold on, let me count (starts gyrating wildly in a counting motion using his fingers/toes)...

[Ricky] Uhhh, Chuck - let me save you some time. The answer is zero. You didn't score.

[Chuck] Hey, but the European dude didn't score, either!

[Ricky] Chuck, Luis Scola is not European. He's from Argentina. Though he did play professional basketball for Spain for 10 years. He probably has a shoe contract, too. Oh, and he's a legitimate 6'10" while you are shorter than Charles Barkley. He can score points, too, if we need. He's actually shooting 50% from the floor. And it's not all layups and putbacks - he can actually shoot. Kinda like Yao.

[Chuck] What's your point, coach?

[Ricky] My point is this... have you learned how to shoot yet?

[Chuck] No, but I never could.

[Ricky] Have you learned how to catch a pass yet?

[Chuck] Hey, that's not fair! I have Rafer and Luther trying to throw passes to me! You try catching their passes that somehow don't end up in the other team's hands!

[Ricky] Okay, that's a good point. Nevertheless... Chuck... I'm going to have to bench you for now. Luis has earned the right to be the starter. And Landry has clearly earned the right to significant playing time. That's two players earning time at the power forward position.

[Chuck] I'll play center. Yao can't last 48 minutes!

[Ricky] Chuck, you are 6'4" - you are barely taller than a shooting guard. So, no.

[Chuck] So, what do you want me to do?

[Ricky] Keep Franchise and Mike James entertained during games. Dikembe might be running out of material by now. And Novak has *no* comedic timing. It's all on you. Anyway, that's all I got, Chuck. Thanks for understanding. Could you send Rafer and Luther in? And tell them to bring their playbooks?
_______

Rockets - 22-19! At the mid-point of the season!

More reasons why Yao Ming completely rules

Lee forwarded me an awesome interview/article on Yao Ming after the Philly game debacle.

For the first time in his entire career, Yao Ming left the arena and refused to talk to the media after the game. This was certainly understandable given that the Rockets blew a 16 point lead and the additional fact that Yao's teammates Rafer and Luther combined to shoot the ball 26 more times than Yao did.

(Yao after another Luther Head bad pass)

But after a night to reflect on a bad loss, Yao proved why he's the F'n man:

TITAN Sports: Right after the game last evening, why did you leave without taking the post-game press conference/interview? This is the very first time that such thing happened ever since you came to NBA.

Yao Ming: I really don’t know what else I can say. I was feeling very very angry and at the same time quite melancholy; so I just took my bath and left. Moreover, I knew, if I did attend the press conference/interview last evening, all I would have said would definitely be angry words. I don’t want to become angry or mad again. Such temper tantrum won’t help to solve problems. I have told you earlier that I have said what I should have said already.

Granted, this here blog has long been a proponent of Yao getting angry and playing angry. But he has a point. Temper tantrums do not solve anything (unless it ends with Rafer injured). Yao is a better man than me - I'd have been cussing and complaining and chewing out everyone in a post-game conference. He knew that he could not put himself in that position, so he chose not to allow for that opportunity. Smart man.

To continue:

TITAN Sports: So the key is which particular position that had not played well?

Yao Ming: Every one of us; we all have issues/problems. (When I said) every one of us, it also included me. We are a collective. When we win, it is the Rockets who win; it is not someone has won. When the Rockets lose, we lose as a team. We have not played well at all.

TITAN Sports: So who should bear the responsibility for this defeat?

Yao Ming: Of course, it is on me. Since I want to step up to lead this team, naturally, I should bear the responsibility. I felt very sad and uncomfortable about the loss, but we need to look and move forward. We just cannot always live in the shadow of defeats and the past.

Now *that* is a leader. While Rafer tries to spread blame around when he fucks up a game, Yao takes responsibility for losses - even when they are clearly not his fault in any way, shape or form. T-Mac is also to be credited for having the same attitude - the difference is that Game 7 last year kinda really was T-Mac's fault.

I've stated before that we have to re-adjust our expectations for this season. We have to be patient. To overcome Rafer's shittiness and Luther's cowardice, it is going to take time to learn Ricky's motion offense, get T-Mac back to good health and also figure out the best way to use Scola, Brooks and Landry. The Rockets are not going to be a team anyone wants to play after the All-Star break. Yao sort of seems to agree:

TITAN Sports: You also added that the Rockets is like a sinking ship with a big hole in the hull. Is the situation of the Rockets that serious and worse as you described?

Yao Ming: How severe or dangerous the Rockets is has to be completely decided by us. If we play as hard as we can, we can turn the situation around…..or else…………….I believe we can turn it around.

After 40 games - the turn-around starts today. Seattle visits on MLK day.

Time to show the Durants while a playoff team looks like.

This is why!

This is why I do not bet on NFL games:

Elisha Manning... in the Super Bowl? No freakin' way!

Post Game Wrap up, Pre Game Write Up

Saturday night I was supposed to be celebrating my two year anniversary with Mrs. UofTOrange, but unfortunately she got sick and we stayed home. I got to make lots of chicken broth and cinnamon toast (that's some good shit). I also got to watch the Rockets squeak out a victory over the all of a sudden hapless Spurs.

Now I believe that the Spurs are still the best team in the league, and when all is said and done they'll be a top seed and probably win a 5th championship. They played hard against the Rockets but the Rockets found a way to not lose, something they could not pull off against the Chris Paul's of NO or the awful Sixers. So that's definitely a good sign that those were aberrations and not what we will see the rest of the way. It's just a sign though, and signs don't mean a thing if you can't prove it on the court.

Yao had another good game, 7-10 shooting, for 21 points. He added 14 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 blocks to go with only one turnover. Unfortunately he missed 2 straight free throws at the end that almost gave the game away, but was still 70% from the line.

Luis Scola saved us twice towards the end with huge rebounds. Then Rafer tried to give it away by missing a free throw as well. Overall Rafer wasn't terrible, though his lack of passing into the post did cause him to shoot 15 times. I guess I have to point out that he was 3-4 from the 3 point line and had 6 assists, but 4 TOs unfortunately. 3 of those were on completely lazy passes. What is it with this team and lazy passes? We seem to have about 5 a game, eliminate those and we'd have about 6-7 more victories this year. Only 7 TOs for the game for everyone, that's pretty stellar though, so I can't complain too much.

Luther Head was awful, shooting 4-11 (yes more shots than Yao) for 9 points, 1 assist and 1 steal in 23 minutes. That's right, he almost had a shot for every 2 minutes of action. I saw his hitch a few times and that is not a positive sign. Honestly though, he's typically a good shooter, so I like the enthusiasm. I hate the lack of passing or dribbling ability though.

That brings us to TMac in his first game back. To start off he could not have been more passive. He launched 5 threes in the game actually converting on one of them. That one rattled around and really should have come out, but hey, it went in so that counts. Overall he was 4-12 with 9 points 4 rebounds and 4 assists in 27 minutes. He finally realized in the second half that he can't shoot as well as he thinks he can and took it to the basket a few times. That combined with his assists made me hopeful that he'll realize that is his game. The ridiculous barrage of 3s is still tempering that hope however.

Overall, good game for the guys, though ugly.

Next up, for two games in a row no less, the Seattle/Oklahoma/Las Vegas Kevin Durants. Now I'm a Texas grad, as you well know, and Kevin Durant is a fucking bad mofo, so I really wanted to be there today. Unfortunately I can't for two reasons: 1. They put the game at 1:30PM CST on a Monday. Yes it's MLK day, but most people don't get it off. 2. It's my 2 year anniversary and I like keeping my balls. (I'm probably in trouble already for that not being number 1).

KD is having a good year, but it's only the tip of the iceberg. His career is going to be outstanding. This year, the Supersonics suck though and it's not going to get any prettier for him or the team over the next two games. The Rockets will sweep both games, though that's not really a stretch.

A post of few words

I told you so. Terrible loss to the Sixers and a win versus the Spurs. Well, to be fair I also said we'd beat the Sixers by 14-18 or something like that. And, well, we should have.

I'll put up a breakdown of the game a little later, but good win in a horribly ugly game for the Rockets. I do like that when two teams have played terribly at the same time this year, the Rockets have come out on top.

Props to Carl Landry, taking the ball from Timmy and dunking on his head as well as just all around solid play. And welcome back Tracy, now stop shooting the three so much.

Ian Thomsen, you are on notice

Seriously, a few weeks ago I almost wrote a post about his completely egregious claim that Chris "Caveman" Kaman was even close to as productive as Yao, much less what he actually said. Not to mention his ridiculous assertion that Stoudemire should be in over Yao:

Center
Fans' Current Pick: Yao Ming
My Starter: Amaré Stoudemire. We understand what Steve Nash will do in the playoffs, just like we understand what Shawn Marion and even Grant Hill will do. But what will Stoudemire do? Will he create an MVP presence at both ends of the floor in the spring? Or will Tim Duncan prevail once again?
My Sub: Yao. In response to the Rockets' substandard 18-17 record, I have half a mind to replace Yao with Chris Kaman, who has been arguably more productive for the undermanned Clippers. But it goes against the spirit of the proceedings to replace the outside world's most popular star with a Clipper.

Now he comes off with this horseshit:

It's amazing how easy it is for an American player like Dwight Howard to get respect after just a few months of All-Star-level performances. Yet American media members like you still don't recognize Yao Ming as the best center in the West, when he's been a 20-and-10 player for three seasons now. Look at his statistics -- it's clear he's been the best center in the league the last three seasons. If he were American, he'd be dubbed the next Shaq.-- Kenny of Vancouver, B.C.

Thomsen: "I couldn't disagree more. From Day One, Yao has been celebrated for creating a new NBA passage from China. Have you forgotten how long it took Shaq to earn respect? Even when he was leading Orlando to the NBA Finals, he was still taking a lot of heat because of suspicions that he wasn't fulfilling his talent.

Howard is a no-brainer to start the All-Star Game because of his monstrous numbers and because he isn't competing with Amaré Stoudemire or Chris Kaman in the East. Yao may well be the best center in the West, but it's not a sure thing because for all of his individual numbers, he has yet to lead his team out of the first round (as Stoudemire has done). But Yao is young and -- like Shaq at the same age -- his best years are still to come."

My stance:
1. Chris Kaman gets destroyed when he plays Yao, DESTROYED. Yao even called him out telling him that he can't stop him in a famous youtube clip on another post below. Give me a break.

2. Wait, Stoudemire “[led] his team out of the first round”? That’s fucking news to me. I’m pretty sure if anyone led even a panty raid on that team it is Steve Nash. Stoudemire hasn't led a single thing in his entire life except maybe a train on some hoes. That guy is the antithesis of a leader. Again, give me a break.

3. Shaq was anointed from day 1, anyone stating otherwise is doing it strictly for their own agenda. He was the number one overall pick just like Yao, but he was treated like he was a basketball god from the beginning. Hell, he STILL thinks he belongs in the All Star game today and he hasn't done shit for 3 years.

4. Yao was given nothing, if anything his coming from China hurt him because people just assumed he wasn't really that good. Sorry, that's the way it is. I can't remember how many "chairman" jokes I heard. (Thanks for that BTW Simmons). Those people were wrong. Still to this day douchebags are saying dumb shit like "Chris Kaman, who has been arguably more productive for the undermanned Clippers".

And let me actually be clear on this. I REALLY like the Caveman, he's a very good basketball player. I like his hustle and his drive. He is NOT on the same level as Yao though, and it's really not close. Anyone that actually watches the two of them play can tell that.

Who is in? Who is out? I'm seeing rotation!

To start with... bad news. McGrady may be delaying his return. Again. Apparently he had a "rough" practice or something? What gives - did someone ask him to try to make a layup?

So, it looks like the Rockets will take on the Spurs sans T-Mac. Maybe he's waiting for the team's record without him to drop below .500 again before he returns in the "hero" role.

This got me thinking though. And yes, such action can be dangerous, and highly unproductive. When T- Mac does eventually hobble back onto the court, what should the Rockets' rotation be? Clearly, we have an abundance of guards and backup forwards that are going to re-adjust to T-Mac being back. Who sits and who plays? Or, rather, who should sit... and who should play? Considering that Ricky is the coach, the answers to who will and who should are completely different.

Yup, he still looks confused.

This is what the Rockets' starting lineup *will* be:

PG: Rafer. No matter how much he sucks.
SG: T-Mac.
SF: Battier.
PF: Hayes.
C: Yao.

The obvious response is "hey, that's what the lineup was before - and it clearly was not working!" This response would be correct. But Adelman doesn't have time for your impeccable logic.

Who will fill out the rotation?

Most likely we'll see Bonzi or Scola be the first off the bench. No matter how listless Bonzi has played over the last month. Scola is probably angry he's not starting - and he has a legitimate complaint. But Chuck Hayes would lose all value if we brought him off the bench - Chuck would never be able to matchup against quick/shoot-first bench players. And that might cost him his shoe deal in China. We can't have that. So Scola will play the backup PF and C roles - and he'll do it admirably, dammit!

After that, certainly Aaron Brooks has earned legit playing time. So we'll see him for 15-20 minutes a game. Luther Head has played scared the last 10 days, but he's the only consistent outside shooter we have right now. He plays, too. Just hopefully not in the 4th Q.

That's 9 in the rotation. Stevie and Mike James will just have to accept their role as Dikembe's audience for sideline standup routines.

Now, that doesn't solve the mystery of the Rockets season. It couldn't. T-Mac cannot make Rafer look competent. T-Mac can't magically teach Chuck how to catch or pass or shoot. t-Mac won't stop shooting fadeaway 3s either, this much I know. Change has to be made somewhere, right? Right?

Here's what the lineup SHOULD be:

PG: Brooks (F-U, Rafer)
SG: T-Mac
SF: Battier
PF: Scola
C: Yao

Why the change? Look, Hollinger was wrong. The Rockets are not winning 60 games or the Championship this year. Hell, they'll be lucky to sneak in as the 8th seed (which they will do, but that's for another column). Why not get Brooks and Scola prepared to go to battle for the '08/'09 season? It would create all sorts of interesting possibilities:

1st off the bench:

Bonzi (I keep telling myself he'll get in shape and start to care. I'm becoming more wrong each day, but....). This could also be Luther Head or Rafer (until we trade/cut his ass).

Also off the bench:

Now *this* is key. Scola can't play the whole game. Neither can Yao. But Chuck is too short to play the C position, even though I am aware Ricky tries to get away with it right now. No - instead we gotta give playing time to Carl Landry. He appeared in 3 games last week - each time showing hustle, athleticism and a very solid sense of rebounding and positional defense. Then he'd be ushered back to the bench after 8 minutes, never to be heard from again. I cannot figure out the reasons why. Maybe he made a pass at Adelman's wife... who knows? Landry has to play though. He needs 10-15 minutes a game. Otherwise, just send him to the D-League.

That would leave a regular rotation of Yao, T-Mac, Battier, Scola, Brooks, Bonzi, Head, Rafer and Landry - a solid 9 deep rotation. And Francis, James, Chuck and Kirk Snyder can battle them in practice to keep them sharp.

The purpose of this is that we could conserve a lot of energy from our starters in the late 3rd/early 4th, and then bring back Scola and Brooks to be the energy guys to play off Yao and T-Mac to close out games. Why Ricky won't let Yao and Scola play at the same time baffles me right now - it's not like they are Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph - they won't get in each other's way. PLAY SCOLA! More than 20 minutes!!

Besides, when is the last time you saw Bonzi, Rafer, Chuck or Luther Head dive for a rebound like this:

That's hustle. We need more of it. Go Rockets!

That was F'd Up

How hard did I take Tuesday night's debacle? It took me until now to even look at this site. And I haven't gone a day since it's inception without looking at it less than 10 times. Let's just get this out of the way and pretend it didn't happen and that we do somehow deserve to go to the playoffs even though we now do not:

FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!

One for ever turnover in the 4th quarter and one each for Towelie and Luther "Wuss" Head. Never have I been so pissed off at getting 14th row center court tickets for free. I gave up time with my son for that shitpaper of a game.

Now that we have that over with, I think I can get on with my life. New game up tomorrow night versus San Antonio and the Big Fundamental. It's going to be hilarious after losing to Philly, but we're going to win.

Still unable to discuss things rationally

Neither Lee nor I have really recovered from Tuesday's debacle. It's taking all of my strength not to completely freak out and give up on the Rockets.

Then I remind myself of the situation. We were playing good, team basketball - even without our supposed leader and best player - and at one point surged to 20-17. Winning five in a row. I'm doing my best not to be too myopic in my emotional outlook on the season. Besides, we do have some definite bright spots we can focus on:

1. Luis ScolaOur 27 year old foreign rookie is really starting to find his groove in the NBA. 8 points, 5 rebounds, 52% shooting and a hell of a lot of hustle every game. Ricky even has him on the court to close out the games instead of Chuck Hayes now. Scola almost single-handedly kept the Rockets from choking on Tuesday. (Unfortunately he was no match for the natural disaster that is Rafer Alston.)

I am even the proud owner of a Rockets/Scola #4 jersey that I bought at the game during halftime Tuesday. Practically the only good thing to come from that whole evening!

2. Aaron Brooks

Granted, when the Rockets drafted Chris Rock's little brother, I was annoyed. I thought Glenn Davis was a better choice for us (not knowing we'd get Scola). I thought drafting a midget in round 1 was a wasted pick. I was wrong.

Aaron Brooks is Iverson-quick. He willingly plays defense (though he's still learning how to do it at the NBA level). He makes really good passes in traffic. He can score when Yao is being triple teamed. He knows not to give the ball to Luther Head when the shot clock is running down.

Yes, he's a true rookie, which is why he's not starting (and hopefully the only reason we still have Rafer on the payroll). But Brooks' quick growth puts me at ease and will only accelerate Daryl Morey's decision to hit the eject button on Rafer when the season ends. Since we are not winning a ring this year - I can rest comfortably knowing we at least have one competent point guard on the roster who will only get better by next year.

3. Yao Ming

Yeah, the tall guy is still on the roster. Not that Rafer or Luther are aware of this.

One day he's actually going to get mad enough to hit Calvin Booth with that elbow. Then the days of hack-a-Yao-with-impunity will hopefully be over. Yao's elbows have to be even pointier than Dikembe's - it has to hurt like hell if you get clipped with it. Yao needs to take advantage of this.

Of course, with 5 additional b.s. calls against him Tuesday, Yao is this much closer to losing it. He's like a race car in the red... and I'm just saying it's dangerous to have a race car in the red. He could blow. I still maintain that would be a good thing. Except for opposing players.

Anyway, T-Mac returns Saturday supposedly. Spurs come to town. We better not need 13 points in 30 seconds. Let's just keep a lead this time for the whole game. Is that asking too much?

Deep Thoughts - by Rafer Alston

I do not believe what I just saw

Rockets up 85-74 at the end of three quarters. After 9 completely boneheaded turnovers by Rafer/Luther, the Rockets proceed to give up 37 points in the 4th quarter alone. And lose.

37!?!?!?!?!? In a row? No -- but it definitely seemed that way from my 10th row vantage point.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck you Rafer fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck you Luther Head fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck you referee whoever you were that called 5 bullshit fouls on Yao fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Seriously, fuck you Rafer - try to play some goddamn defense for once fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck you Rick Adelman for not taking Luther Head out of the game when it was clear he was afraid to play fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck you Bonzi for letting your lazy defense rub off on the rest of the team fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rafer, we're through. No more of this bullshit about "I'm improving" or "I'm becoming more consistent" or "I'm the QB of this team" -- whenever anyone questions me when I say you suck, I will point them to this game. You allowed this to happen on sooo many levels. First of all, you can't shoot. You still can't make layups. You didn't even bother trying to play defense on Andre Miller (which cost Yao at least 2 of his fouls). And Andre Miller is tanking games like he's Vince Carter or something!! You also had 6 turnovers - and every single pass you made was telegraphed. Then you didn't get back on defense. Fuck you.

Yeah, you scored 20 points, but you took 17 shots to get 20. And you had a monster total of 4 assists. FOUR. Or, to translate, a 2/3 ratio of assists to turnovers. That is fucking awful. Yao Ming is 7'5" and he's on your team (though your refusal to pass the ball to people wearing Red makes me think you aren't sure about this). Pass him the damn ball!!! He's too nice to be Keyshawn. But he'll evolve quickly...

And Luther, do not for a second think I am forgetting about you. You played like shit tonight. Yeah, yeah, you hit a few shots early... then you loafed. Then you missed layups like you were Bonzi or something. Then you turned the ball over because you still can't make an entry pass. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SHOOTING 20 TIMES?!?!? And 2-11 from deep?!?! WTF?!?! You were scared to shoot when actually open. Scared to pass. Afraid to play defense. Pathetic. Ricky leaving you out there to suffer was embarrassing for us having to watch you play.

Let's look at this quickly:

Rafer -- 7-17 from the floor
Luther -- 6-20 from the floor.

37 shots?!?!?! And, no, not in a row - it just seemed like it.

Meanwhile... Yao -- 8-11 from the floor. ELEVEN!?!?

Why the fuck are you guys shooting more than Yao?!?! ANSWER ME!!!

I thought I couldn't be more upset than I was after the Hornets game. Thanks a lot for proving that theory wrong you assholes! Beatdown #3 in a row... Saturday v. Spurs.

It's Payback for the Payback Time!

The Rockets put it on the Sixers last year, winning both games by a combined 71 points. Then the Sixers had to go and pay us back with a 12 point ass kicking in December that was in no way that close. Philly comes in on a 7 game losing streak and the Rockets are looking to make it 8. We're favored by 10 and, honestly, we don't deserve to make the playoffs if we lose this game.

Andre Iguodala is having a good year, but he's not a first option guy. He'd be great as the second option, in fact, he'd be one of the better ones in the league, but his game just isn't suited for first option status. He plays a lot of minutes and seems to play hard, but there's just something about him that's off for me.

The Sixers are in complete disarray after trading away The Answer. They did fire Billy King, so at least that's a start. But it's going to take quite a while to turn around. Tonight is not a jumping point for this.

The Rockets lost to the Hornets on Sunday, and I was upset enough about it that I really haven't posted anything until today. I'm not going to complain about officials anymore than I ever do, but someone needs to figure out that Yao is NOT clumsy and does not just drop basketballs. The Sixers are coming in on the second night of a back to back after losing to the Spurs last night 89-82. I'm calling for a blowout. Not on the 50 point magnitude, but something worthy of Dave's and my presence. In no way are they as bad as the Timberwolves, so I'm think 14-18 points would do.

Let's go Rockets, time to start a new winning streak!

T-Mac reads blogs?

So, I was perusing the Chronicle and the blogosphere looking for material this morning. Stumbled upon this between cups of coffee:

"During his respite from the Rockets due to a knee injury, Tracy McGrady has been enjoying the comedy stylings of NBA writers and bloggers. Quite entertaining."

Allow me to repeat... "Tracy McGrady has been enjoying the comedy stylings of NBA writers and bloggers." Does T-Mac read the Dream Shake!?!? If not, he should! But anyway, I really do hope that T-Mac is entertained by the recent rumors and rants and online criticism. I really do hope that he can come back and be happy and share a laugh or two with Yao again.

In short, we need you back, T-Mac. Yet at the same time, if you are going to be the surly, whiny, "let's slow it down and take fadeaway jumpers" T-Mac we've seen in '07, I reserve the right to retract the previous sentence.

Let it be said that we never bought into the Marbury speculation. As bad as Rafer is, Stephon would be the NBA equivalent of introducing a cyanide pill into the locker room. Ben Wallace is still competing with Shaun Alexander to see who was a worse big-bucks signing from two years ago (Alexander is winning that race, but only slightly). No chance in hell Daryl Morey brings in either guy for T-Mac.

But there are things we cannot overlook:

1. The Rockets *are* playing better without McGrady right now than they did the previous two months. The motion offense is working, multiple players are contributing (even Rafer!) and everyone seems happy to be involved.

2. If T-Mac buys into Ricky's motion offense now that he's seen it can work -- the Rockets can only get better. Of course, this is still a big "if" for T-Mac. Scola and Aaron Brooks are playing great. Even Carl Landry had a huge game on Friday. (Bonzi is the only player playing worse right now.) Does T-Mac take away opportunties from these other guys when he returns?

There are also things I certainly do not believe:

... none of the trade rumors are coming from within. General manager Daryl Morey hasn't fielded any phone calls about McGrady and certainly hasn't made any.

If that is the case, Morey is not doing his job. He should constantly be attempting to upgrade the team. McGrady is a 28 year old, injury prone, perimeter player. Yes, he's in a class with maybe 3 other players (Kobe, LeBron, D-Wade), but if we can improve the team, you have to keep your ears open to potential trades. No one is untradeable. Not even Yao.

McGrady squelched any thoughts he is starting them. "There was a rumor that I said I was unhappy here and I wanted to go to Chicago and I never said anything about Chicago, or anything about being traded," McGrady said. "This happens when teams are trying to make deals and they throw names in there. It is what it is."

I find this hard to believe as well. I've been carefully watching McGrady's body language. He was miserable all throughout December. I'm sure he's at least *thought* about being traded. I'm sure he's talked to other players about what they have heard. I do not doubt McGrady when he says he wants to stay here, but I am also not naive enough to believe that he hasn't considered other options. Fortunately he's not his cousin, so I don't have to worry about him tanking games.

T-Mac is scheduled to return on Saturday to face the Spurs. Which version do we get? Hopefully one that gets the Rockets to 22-18 (yes, I am already penciling in a victory against Philly tomorrow night). Oh, and FYI - Lee and I will be at tomorrow's game. Go Rockets!

Yao was fouled, dammit! Twice!!

A bit of a disclaimer this morning: I was at yesterday's game. At half-court. 10th row. Phenomenal seats. Only to watch the Rockets blow an 8 point fourth quarter lead. It just about killed me. Or had me ready to be fit with a straitjacket. I would have had a post-game review up yesterday, but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to, but...

Normally I am a rather rational and logical person. Except when it comes to the Rockets. My emotional balance runs parallel to their season - when they play good, solid team basketball, I'm a pretty content and reasonable person. When they start playing not to lose while also getting screwed over by the referees... I tend to become unstable and highly irrational.

Yesterday afternoon, I was so agitated after the Rockets game that I couldn't even properly enjoy the Cowboys choking against Elisha and the Giants!

Oh, and YAO WAS FOULED you sons of bitches! Fouled, I say! Twice!!

Look, I love Chris Paul's game. Maybe not as much as Lee, but I recognize greatness. And when matched up against Rafer, Chris Paul looks even better than normal. It was not fair. Then Ricky got smart and put Aaron Brooks into the game. The midget actually held his own and managed to stay in front of Paul... then Ricky put Rafer back in. (Oh, Brooks, while you played great, please stop taking so many 3s - it's not your shot. You were 1-5 this game. You should never shoot more then 2-3 of those a game. Ever.)

Rafer... 4-13 from the floor. Again. At what point does he realize that he's not making shots and should just stop? He missed 2 layups. He missed open 3s. He missed that "tearput" thing he calls a shot. Oh, and he failed to get back on D to stop Paul. Ugh.

Meanwhile, Yao had another beast of a game. 30 points, 16 rebounds. The 6 turnovers are bullshit because 3 of them were when he was hacked to pieces but the refs must have been busy watching the end of the Colts game. What the hell? Peyton lost and little brother Elisha won? I wonder how the post-game family conversation went. Oh.... of course.

Anyway, back to the Rockets game. This game is precisely why we probably should not trade T-Mac. If he were able to play the 4th Q, we probably do not blow the lead. We played soft and tight and stopped running, moving and passing the ball around. Predictably, the Chris Pauls came back and took the lead. (Though the play Byron Scott drew up at the end to get Paul the layup was very well done... I was impressed.)

Nevertheless, I can't change the result. The five game winning streak is over. Playing like a bunch of five-assed monkeys at the end of the game did not allow the number to be "6".

(oh, and on an unrelated note... Corey Brewer is a bad-ass, Lee. But, yes, he's skinnier than me, and that is not a good thing.)

Just for Hardwood Paroxysm

So over at HP Matt and Corn wrote about bad halftime shows. I thought it was pretty funny, but the halftime show, at the Rockets vs. Minnesota Don't Care At All game, proved life can be WAY worse than parody.

I would give it more words, but just watch:

That's right, Jazzercise at half time. Let me at least point out that it was for a very good cause, and is probably worth the eye trauma I endured.

Pink Ribbons

On top of enduring that halftime show, Dave just informed me he got his firm's tickets to today's game, or rather ONE of the tickets, so he's going to be sweat on by CP (Dave likes stuff like that) and I'll be sitting at home watching it on TV. I hope you get stuck in traffic mofo!

That's Five, Now let's go for Six

Dave and I went to the game on Friday, and it was pretty freaking sweet. 65-33 at halftime, and I have to be honest, we played like shit in the first half. That is by far the worst team I've ever seen in person. There were exactly three players that looked like they cared at all, and unfortunately only one of them, Corey Brewer, actually has any true NBA talent. Micheal Doleac and Ryan Gomes were the other two, and both made it to the NBA based on hustle.

And let's just point out, Dave and I told y'all this was going to happen.

Dave was on Corey Brewer's jock the whole game, I'm pretty sure he would have slept with him if Corey asked. At one point in time he said that he's the most complete rookie in the league. I had to bitch slap him and remind him that Kevin Durant and his plethora of awesomeness existed. Plus, I think Durant actually outweighs Brewer by 50 pounds, and Durant is pretty skinny himself. Honestly, I've seen Kenyan marathoners that outweigh this guy. He weighs less than a full grown chicken. They have him listed at 6'9 185, and Durant listed at 6'9 225. Now I know y'all know how thin KD is, and he is listed at FORTY POUNDS more than Brewer, that's re-donk-ulous. He has catastrophic knee injury written all over him, and that's a shame, because he actually cares about basketball on a team that doesn't.

By the way, Al Jefferson is not that good. He has potential, but never took advantage on the offensive end of Yao's extended periods out of the game. He also didn't do much on defense, he just happens to play on a shitty team and is a bit above average, so he cleans up the stat sheet. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE that thinks he's even in Yao's league is an absolute idiot.

That brings us to today's game versus the Hornets. It starts at 1:30 CST at the Toyota center. Let me start this preview by stating this: Chris Paul is my favorite non-Rocket in the league right now. He is everything that is right about the game of basketball. He's averaging 21.7PPG, 10.4A and 2.9S per game, that's fucking incredible. That is what a point guard can be. Someone you can rely on in the clutch and to hit the wide open man with the ball in traffic. I'm betting both Milwaukee and Charlie Bell wish they had that choice back. I mean, Andrew Bogut doesn't suck, but he can't carry Chris Paul's jock. Marvin Williams in Atlanta is good too, but again, not Chris Paul. The only team you can't fault too much is Utah, because Deron Williams is damn good as well.

The Hornets come in as winners of 8 of their last 10 games, besting the Rockets 7 of their last 10. They are extremely good. David West is finally playing like the player I thought he would be coming out of Xavier. And having Peja back has surely helped as well.

Overall this is not a good matchup for the Rockets of the beginning of this year. The Rockets over the last five games though? They match up pretty well. It takes a team approach to the game to beat the Hornets, and the Rockets are a team finally.

My prediction?

Rockets 97 - Hornets 96

Reminiscing with Yao and You Tube

100 and counting

From: Lee
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 8:21:51 AM
Subject: Our 100th Post

So, looks like no TMac for our visit to the Toyota center. Is it wrong that I’m borderline happy about this?

From: David
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 8:24 AM

happy? I'm ecstatic - I get to watch more team basketball instead of everyone stand around and wait for Tracy to do something.

From: Lee
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 9:44:40 AM

Agreed, I’d love to believe, and will hold out hope, that his return will mark a change to Triple Double Tracy, which with his athletic ability could happen every night, but I can’t make myself believe it.Can you imagine if he became a true team player? Could another team beat the Rockets?

From: David
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 9:57 AM

If Tracy played like he did in the Memphis game, no one beats us - he's just do whatever it took to win. But I think he has the overwhelming urge to score 25 a game... and will make sure he gets his. That scares me.

From: Lee
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 10:14:55 AM

The odd thing is that I believe he thinks that’s what it takes. I really don’t think he’s trying to be malicious when he does it. It’s almost like he feels he has an obligation to his fans to score 25-30 a night, no matter how many shots it takes.

Newsflash Tracy: I already like you man, just win

From: David
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 10:27 AM

Here's the thing - I believe this is an indirect byproduct of Tracy skipping college to go to the NBA game. He has never really been a "winner" against legitimate competition. He dominated in high school, sure, but anyone who is 6'9" dominates in high school. He needed at least a year or two at a D-1 school to compete against players who are used to being "the Man" at their own high school. Then he would have learned how to best assimilate his own unique skills into a winning team environment. Tracy was always going to be a "star" - you can't have that kind of size and skill and not be (unless you find your way over to the bong too much). He never really learned how to play winning basketball though. And his ego often trumps his desire to win. At the exact wrong time. Combine that with the back injury and the mysterious fear of trying to take layups in the 4th Q - and you have the T-Mac we see today. It's not that he's selfish or a more skilled Ricky Davis. T-Mac just doesn't know how to win AND get his at the same time.

From chron.com today: The trick, it would seem, will be to introduce McGrady back into the mix. The Rockets insist the changes in their style actually began last month before he was hurt, but they clearly have taken hold since.McGrady, however, has scoffed at the notion he will have to adjust, saying that the more balanced scoring will make his job easier.

"Why would I adjust? Nothing has really changed," McGrady said. "Those guys are making shots, and there is a lot more ball movement. They got to make up for 23 points. I tell them, don't look for me on the offensive end," McGrady said. "Myself and Yao , we're going to get the ball and make plays and make shots. You guys stay aggressive.

"It is something positive that came out of this. Guys gained confidence. They gained a rhythm. They are playing well. Hopefully, I don't come back and ruin that."

From: Lee
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 10:52:32 AM

I get what Tracy is saying in that article, but his attitude really is kind of poor around it. He should not have asked why would he have to adjust. He should have just said the rest of it. That all made sense at least. But what do I know? Oh, I know that we’ll be there tonight and the Timberwolves are going to get the wolf shit kicked out of them.

From: David
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 11:16 AM

to follow up on my last e-mail... Tracy indirectly refers to himself as "23 points" when he's out... in contrast, when Robert Horry missed games at any point from 1994 through, oh, today - you never hear him refer to him based on is point production. The absence of winning players reaches far beyond a box score - and is certainly more diverse than just the "points scored" column. Yeah, in the words of Bobby Knight, the difference between winning and losing is always scoring more points than the other team - but how you do that is what matters.

From: Lee
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 11:18:45 AM

Now, let me preface this : I love Robert Horry, I would gladly allow Calvin Murphy’s daughter to have all of his kids. That said, you can not compare the two. I agree, Horry is a winner, but if he hadn’t been, he would have been out of the league 6 years ago. TMac will be in the league as long as he wants playing just like he does

From: David
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 11:22 AM
And if T-Mac wasn't 6'9" and insanely talented - he'd have been out of the league 6 years ago, too. (see also Miles, Darius)

From: Lee
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 11:23:46 AM

That’s the point though, he is, and he doesn’t have to be a “winner” to do it.And last I checked, Darius Miles IS still in the league, though “injured” Bottom line, I predicted 5 wins in a row, and tonight I want to see said 5th win. And I want to see it convincingly

From: David
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 11:29 AM

Levels of winning:
level 1: Shareef Abdur-Rahim (no playoffs, ever, until he stopped being good)
level 2: Darius Miles (appeared in playoffs in minor roles. Still lost.)
level 3: T-Mac (at least got to playoffs... blows leads with regularity)
level 4: Steve Nash/Dirk (consistently good in playoffs, few series wins, no rings)
level 5: Shaq (multiple rings, needs help to do it: Kobe , D-Wade, Horry)
level 6: Horry (7 rings, 3 different teams. This is not an accident.)

From: Lee
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 11:38 AM

It’s crazy that we started this blog just because no one else had one we liked. I’m not sure we actually learn anything new, but it does give me an outlet for anger, so I got that going for me, which is nice. 100 Posts in, I’m still enjoying it

From: David
Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 11:41 AM

Yes, it's nice to have an outlet for anger/emotion - and one that requires no real logical explanation. I don't even have to be "right". But it is more fun when I am (see 4 game winning streaks and predictions).

From: Lee

Yep, I enjoy being "right" even though it could easily be proven that I'm wrong. My wife might call that a "Lee Complex"

Tonight, the final prediction comes true, 5 in a row without Tracy

The drive for five... and maybe more

Four wins in a row. And counting.

Rockets face the Minnesota Timberwolves tomorrow night at the Toyota Center. Correction for emphasis: The 19-17 Rockets face the extremely awful and barely fit to be a NBDL team 5-29 Timberwolves tomorrow night.* The Rockets (barring Yao Ming being hijacked and taken back to China overnight) should be on a five game winning streak as of Saturday morning.

As Col. Jessup would say: Rafer, you're in charge. Private Head doesn't make 4-of-6 on his next 3-point Proficiency Report (i.e. tomorrow), and I'm going to blame you. And then, I'm going to kill you.

There is no freakin' way we should even let the Timberwolves finish within 10 points of us.

* Thanks for sending KG to the East Coast, Mr. McHale! Much appreciated!

On Notice: January

You are all on notice!!!

Picture that!

A few shots of Yao last night, including the posterizing of Malik Rose. Take that bitch!

I have foreseen your destiny!

Hey, New York Knicks........

Apologize!!!You cannot stop Yao. You can only hope to contain him. Or foul the shit out of him. But he shoots 90% from the line, so that doesn't work either. Isiah saw it coming, so he left the show early. Guess he doesn't like predictable endings. (and you can be sure I will post the YouTube clip of Yao gorilla dunking on Malik Rose's corpse as soon as it's online.)

Ohhhhh! And that's 4 in a row! Just as I called it a week ago. The "east coast swing" is a nice way to pick up cheap Ws.

Some game thoughts:

I told you Scola should be playing more! He was the difference in the game and negated the impact of David Lee completely.

Rafer... I gotta hand it to you. You played great in the 1st quarter. Tried everything you could to fuck it up in the third quarter (heaving 3s when Yao is killing inside is just stupid). Then you made up for it and closed out the game in the 4th with some tough defense, great passing and an actual made layup in traffic. I expect more of this from you. We can compete against anyone if you play like this.

Where the F was Aaron Brooks in the 2nd half? He killed the Knicks last time.

Bonzi? F-U. You are the reason the Rockets went from 12 up to 5 down. Nearly giving me a heart attack in the process. At least fake it like you want to play defense every now and then. You made Eddy Curry look energetic.

Shane Battier -- another solid, unsung performance that was essential to another victory. This is why we made the Rudy Gay trade. Rockets fans, always remember this.

And to the rest of the Rockets - when the 7'5" Chinese dude in the middle is scoring at will against an opponent that doesn't seem to care -- if you don't make sure he at least touches the ball on every freakin' possession -- you should all be benched. Yao could have scored 50 tonight if anyone was paying attention. I'll take the win, sure, but let's make it easy next time. Here's what he looks like. It should be easy to find him.

Go Rockets! Make it five for five on Friday! I'll be there!

Rockets Beat the Knicks! (Again)

And prediction one is true! And on Friday night prediction two will come true as well. Then we are out of the prediction business for a few days anyway.

Four games in a row and another dominant performance by Yao:

And another domination of this guy:

He also only played 26 minutes and 2 of those points came while unguarded in the last minute of the game. Isn't Yao the one that people think doesn't have stamina? Yao, played 32 minutes by the way kicking ass and taking names.

Yao dunked 6 times in this game, I'm pretty sure that makes him awesome.

This post would not be complete without a mention of Rafer Alston. And it's a positive mention. Borderline great game by Rafer. Coming home I thought he might try and shoot 85 times, but all but one of his shots was completely in the flow of the offense. He also had 6 assists, 3 rebounds and 2 steals. Again, solid night. The 4 turnovers were tough, but only 1 was completely inexcusable, and I'll take that.

Good game for Luis Scola as well. The Rockets needed someone to step up other than Yao in the second half with 19 points, 3 rebounds, 2 assists and 2 steals.

Overall, a good game for the Rockets. Final 101-92

The Cookie Monster's Last DC Finger Wag

Just wanted to pass on a great article about Mutumbo.

Washington Post Blog

Good writing about a good guy. I love the Cookie Monster

Same game, New location

The Rockets play the Knicks tonight at 6:30 CST in Madison Square Garden, even though it is not in Madison Square, on Madison (St, Ln, Ave, or Blvd), actually square OR a Garden. And since that hasn't been the case since the 20s, I have no idea why the name stuck. I guess it's like a lot of things, why not? Now it's a cultural icon, though there has been talk that the new MSG will be the Farlay Garden due to it's proposed location near the James Farlay Post Office. I say, keep the name the same, you've gone this long, it's tradition now.

This is game two of a riveting two game series between the Rockets and Knicks. With game 1 ending in a resounding 103-91 victory for the Rockets on Saturday night. Yao had 30, and Eddy Curry tried to keep up, but since he sucks, he couldn't.

Current team winning streaks:

Rockets: 3 (6 of last 9)

Knicks: 1 (2 of last 10) But holy shit, they won a game!!

Best Player:

Rockets: It's Yao, even with Tracy not injured, it's Yao. He does have trouble with the back to backs occasionally though, so he might only get 28 and 10 tonight.

Knicks: I think it's David Lee, but you'd never know it because Isiah Thomas traded for Zach "Waste of Space" Randolph in the off-season. Another stellar choice there tiger, way to make another team in the West good.

I will give Zach some credit though, he pulled down 22 rebounds in the last game. The problem? I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA that he did until I checked the box scores of his last few games. And I watched the game from beginning to end Saturday. He also missed 12 shots so I'm not sure how many of those rebounds he got the old fashioned way (missing on purpose). Does he have a rebounds clause in his contract like this guy?

This win will complete Dave's 4 game prediction and get one game closer to mine of 5.

We'll be on hand for that 5th win and in case you don't have plans for Friday night, the Rockets are doing a guy's night out again. 2 tickets, 2 beers, 2 dogs and 2 pint glasses, starting at $56 bucks and that's a discount on the regular price. I got two $40 seats for $36 each, and you get the food and drinks thrown in. Pretty damn good deal. I plan on going to all of these this year if the wife will let me. I still remember when you could get that top row at the Summit for $10 bucks, or $5 on some nights, damn, those were the days. I'm glad I'm an adult now and not a kid trying to get to a game.

Just FYI they also had a half off discount for the 1/29 game against the Warriors at the box office. But I'll save you the trouble of getting your own. Just go to Rockets.com and use promo code: THANKS0129

Let's go Rockets, let's prove those predictions right!

The Rockets and Married... with Children

In an attempt to lighten the mood instead of another rant about Rafer's suckiness or T-Mac's surliness... we harken back to the whimsical nature of blog in comparing members of the Rockets to random pop culture figures. You know, from TV shows, movies, other icons. The first attempt seemed to be a hit, and now it's time to see which Rockets most closely resemble characters from Married... with Children.

(full disclosure - Married... with Children and the Bundy family is my favorite TV show of all-time and gave us the greatest individual TV character of all time in Al Bundy.)

We therefore must lead off with Al himself... and who better epitomizes Al Bundy right now than one Tracy McGrady?


Al - was a stud athlete in high school. Was all-city his senior year as a running back. Was the star of the football team. Had his high school's football field named after him (until he blew it up). Claim to fame is scoring 4 TDs in one game, even though it's not anywhere close to the record. Injuries wrecked his football career - and his future. Typecast as a loveable loser.

Tracy - is originally known for going straight to the NBA from high school. Was a stud athlete at the same age and was destined for stardom the moment he joined his cousin in Toronto. Would have had Orlando's stadium named after him (until he blew 3-1 playoff leads). (edit: Apparently Tracy's high school gym *is* named after him!) Claim to fame is scoring 62 points in one game, even though it's not anywhere close to the record. Injuries are wrecking his career and his reputation. Soon to be typecast as a loser... maybe not so loveable.

Kelly Bundy = Yao Ming

Kelly - is the reason most anyone (especially teenagers) ever watched the show in the early stages of its TV run. Everyone likes her and she's very, very popular among her classmates. Is able to speak functional English, but often runs into malapropisms and bad puns. Perpetually optimistic.

Yao - is the reason most anyone in China ever watches the Houston Rockets (or any NBA team) play. Everyone likes him and he's voted to start at center in the All Star game every single season. Including this year. Is able to speak functional English and no longer needs a translator, but often makes bad puns and regularly turns awkward phrases (except when he's calling his team soft). Perpetually optimistic, even when refs screw him over.

Seven = Rafer Alston
This one is too easy. Seven showed up one day... nearly caused the show to Jump the Shark. Disappeared forever without explanation save for his picture on the side of a milk carton. In contrast, we just hope Rafer disappears one day... never to show up again in a Rockets jersey. And that the Rockets make no effort to explain how/why they got rid of him.

Peggy Bundy = Mike James


Peggy - had a lot of potential and promise in high school (should have been named Reunion Queen). Cashed in by marrying Al (who was supposed to be a big football star). Now just sits on the couch, does not work and eats bon bons all day. Loves Oprah. Drives Al and the kids crazy. In those rare moments there is money to spend, is often very selfish in spending the money on things for her (fur coats, shoes, dresses) and not groceries for the rest of the family.

Mike James - showed lots of potential in 2004 when he first joined the team. Had a career year with Toronto and cashed in with big contract with the T-Wolves. Ended up a relative disappointment. Now just sits on the Rockets bench, and might as well be eating bon bons on the bench. Once compared himself to a prostitute. Drives Rick Adelman and Rockets fans crazy. In those rare moments he gets to play, is often very selfish in his shot selection and makes little effort to feed the rest of his teammates (even when they are open).

Steve Rhoades = Steve Francis


Rhoades - first name is Steve. Was once an integral part of the show. Randomly left the show one day and was replaced by a far superior character. Became seriously depressed and was never the same again. Tried to impress Marcy with his Lincoln Towncar - only to later reveal that he was merely the hired driver for another rich person.

Francis - first name is Steve. Was once an integral part of the Houston Rockets. Was traded and replaced by a far superior player. Became seriously depressed when Cuttino Mobley was traded by Orlando and was never again the same person/player. Still has no reason to wake up in the morning. Tried to impress fans with his dribbling and showboating - only to later reveal that he wasn't really an All Star-caliber player (see New York Knicks era).

Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy = Luther Head


Marcy - was once rich and successful and drove fancy cars. Suddenly divorced. Is often called a "chicken" by Al. Lives in Illinois.

Luther - was one a part of a very successful and nearly undefeated Illinois college basketball team in 2005. Somehow lost the Championship game to North Carolina. Went to college at Illinois. Would amuse me to no end if his nickname was "Chicken Head".

Bud Bundy = Aaron Brooks

Bud Bundy - is very short considering his parents and sister are both very tall. Often the brunt of jokes being the youngest and most gullible Bundy. Has a goatee. Is often made fun of for not having much luck with the ladies, but actually scores more often (and with attractive women) that you would realize. Lived in his parents' basement when he was in his 20s.

Aaron Brooks - is a midget. Often the brunt of jokes and pranks given that he is a rookie in the NBA. Has a goatee (which makes him look like Chris Rock's younger brother.) Is often made fun of for not having the best jumpshot or the ability to score, but actually can score more often and easily than you would realize. Went to Oregon for college, which might as well have been someone's basement. Though we love the Oregon cheerleaders.


Others?

Luis Scola = Miranda Veracruz de la Jolla Cardinal. Both European. Not used enough in broadcasts or in games.

Chuck Hayes = Buck the Dog. Both integral parts to the team/show/family. No discernable skills, yet the team/show would be worse off without them. Neither seems able to talk. Or shoot free throws.

Bonzi Wells = Psycho Dad. Because both look like they would/could kill you. For no apparent reason at all.

Rick Adelman = Ephraim Wanker. The elderly father figure. Yet both seem clueless whenever the camera is on them.

Dikembe Mutombo = Bob Rooney. case in point? Bob Rooney's wife (moaning "Oh, Bob Rooney!"). Dikembe? (everywhere he goes: "Who wants to sex Mutombo??")

Shane Battier = Griff. Shane is the veritable sidekick to Yao and T-Mac. Obviously likes hanging out with a lot of white people. Griff is Al's co-worker and most loyal NO MA'AM friend.

(other comparisons are more than welcome in the comments!)

Just because

Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.

Without a dream no one thought we'd survive.
For to long we've been deprived
The final piece of the puzzle has arrived
The missing link of a championship drive!

Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.

Yao Ming does things that will shock ya

Won’t believe what he does with the Rock ya

Get into his grill he’ll flat cold-cock ya

Forget about Shaq he could stuff Chewbacca

Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.

Yao Ming bust on the scene with the bling bling
Dominating other teams it's a Ming thing
Envisioning Houston's Dream of a ring-ring
Reinvigorating Clutchcity Yao Ming! Scream

Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming. Now Scream!
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming. Scream
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.
Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming, Yao Ming.

Yep, the song is awful, but it's about the best center in the game, so it's getting pass.

YAO MING, YAO MING, YAO MING, YAO MING, YAO MING, YAO MING

That's 3!

And down goes Washington.

(caption - Yao: "Oh, I'm not used to my teammates actually trying to take the ball to the basket and make layups. That is my fault, Mr. Head. Sorry.")

Orlando Magic (in Orlando) ... W
New York Knicks (home) ... W [too easy]
Washington Wi--rds (in D.C.) ... W

That's three W's in a row! As predicted. W-4 is tonight in New York.

T-Mac ... still in fancy suit on the sidelines; contributing about as much as Clutch. Check that - you can never discount the role Clutch plays on team morale. Clutch doesn't sulk.

Anyway -- bring on the Knicks!

(then the Baby Wolves!)

(then the Hornets........ oh, wait, Chris Paul. Oh, shit... uhhhhh)

Rockets Beat the Wi--rds!

Well, as I said earlier today, the Wi--ards were no contest for the Rockets. I was a bit off on my Yao scoring prediction. But he finished the game strong:

He played solidly and fouled Blotch out and put four on Haywood. Good game but not great, actually it was a bad game for him. He's going to destroy Eddy Curry as usual tomorrow night.

Luther Head had a great scoring game, but was pretty poor at handling the ball. Two turnovers that were his fault were attributed to Yao, he put him in really bad situations on multiple occasions. Still though, 8-13 and 4-6 from the three will get you a bit of a pass.

For a lot of the game, I was prepping myself for my second post ever with a positive Rafer review. Then he threw 3 dumb passes in the fourth and had 5 turnovers. He did have 10 assists, but 4 of those were on slow set up threes by Luther. Still, 10 assists is 10 assists, but 5 TOs is 5 TOs too. I was willing to forgive, but he also went 1-6 from three land. Of course one of those was a huge rally killer for the Wi--ards. Damn, it was a confusing game. I want to lean towards the positive, so you know what? I will. Decent game Rafer, you've had a great game, then a shitty game, then a decent game. I'd settle for decent every night with a few hints of great if he'd cut out the shitty. 6-9 inside the arc will do every night, just keep driving if that is what stops you from shooting from further than 10 feet out.

Decent game, it's win 3 of 5 in a row (at least) and the Knicks are up tomorrow night at 6:30 CST. They have 7 of their 8 wins at home, and actually have a half time lead as I type this. Still, that's win 4 in a row, completing Dave's prediction, and getting one step closer to mine.

Let's Go Rockets, kick them straight in middle of their Knickerbockers!!

Rockets vs. The Wi--rds

They don't get an A or a Z without Agent Zero playing. Or at least playing basketball and not Halo. And I don't think there are too many people that are not members of Dave's or my family that would be reading this that have not been, but if you haven't, Gilbert has the premier players blog out there. Give it a visit.

Agent Zero: The Blog File

And it just so happens, to go along with that, the Wi--rds have one of our favorite fan sites as well, so check it out:

WIZZNUTZZ, where you know they are hardcore because they substituted not one, but TWO ZZ's for S's (Though the site was down while typing this up for some reason)

Enough about other blogs for right now. Let's get to the meat of the story. Ummm, meat, I had an awesome steak last night, and I bet my wife makes me eat chicken tonight. Stupid belly sticking out, giving me away...

Anyway, the Rockets take on the Wi--rds tonight. A team that inexplicably has a winning record right now and is due for a beat down. And the Rockets are just the team to deliver said beat down. Both teams have won two in a row and the streaks have to end sometime, but it's not the Rockets time yet. It's win number 3 of 5 in a row coming up at 6PM at the Verizon Center in Washington D.C.

It just so happens that in honor of our upcoming 5 game winning streak, beating the Wi--rds tonight would be our 5th consecutive over them. I say that's a good omen.

I'm dedicating this win to all the people that still believe, like I do, that the Bullets was a much better team name and that it hurt nothing for it to stay that way. I mean, when the Bullets came to town you still weren't scared cause they sucked, but you never knew, a Bullet could jump up and get you, it was tangible. A Wizard is just imaginary and makes me think of Harry Potter. All the magic in the world wouldn't stop me from kicking Harry Potter's ass.

And I didn't get this in context, but it looks like he's saying the Celtics are monsters and that the Rockets could be easily overlooked:

"I want to see him against the best players -- with the monsters coming in. We've got Houston. We've got Boston, but who's looking ahead?" Jordan said.

So I say, let's put that on the bulletin board boys and kick some ass.

Song dedication to Tracy McGrady

I got to work this morning, only to see this link with some not-so-nice rumors about Tracy McGrady and his new attitude (from The Detroit News):
____________

Half-hearted?
The topic of Tracy McGrady came up in the Pistons' locker room before a game last week. McGrady is now injured and unhappy in Houston. Reports there say he has told friends he wants to be traded -- again. One player, who shall remain nameless, joked that McGrady was becoming more and more like his cousin, Vince Carter. "They should call Tracy, 'half-man, half a season,'" the player cracked.
____________


Half-man, half-a-season? Ouch. Though, not completely uncalled for. And you know, the injury history doesn't really bother me so much. I have had problems with a bad back. You can't ignore that kind of injury. You can work around it, but it's always there.

McGrady's attitude towards everything when he's "down" a little bit is what bothers me. He sulks and whines - and it shows on his face. This has to rub off on his teammates (okay, not Yao). It certainly affects how McGrady plays in games... when he's bummed out, he's far less likely to drive the ball to the basket (check that -- even less likely than usual).

And, with regard to long-term issues, this is now the third team McGrady has played for. I understand him wanting to leave Toronto. With Isiah there... and his cousin being the unquestioned "star" - it's natural for T-Mac to want to go elsewhere. When he got to Orlando and developed into that 1st Team All-NBA performer... he had the world in the palm of his hands. Then he started blowing 3-1 playoff leads. Then he started sulking. Then he made ambiguous statements that were interpreted as trade demands. He eventually got traded to Houston. I ignored what happened at the time. Sadly, history appears to be repeating itself again. Another blown playoff lead followed by a disappointing season and some injury problems, along with more rumors of a trade request/demand/wish.

In honor of this, Tracy, I would like to dedicate the following song to you. It's an oldie, but a goodie. It's "Happy Face" by the Toadies (okay, so it never got airplay on the radio - so what?). I think the lyrics are quite appropriate given the situation today, as it covers both of our emotional states. See for yourself:

I try to wish you away
I'll do more than wishing someday

No no no more son of a bitch
No no no more wishing
No no no more son of a bitch
No more happyface

You and I have nothin' more to say
We'll do more than talking someday

No no no more son of a bitch
No no no more talking
No no no more son of a bitch
No more happyface

No no no more son of a bitch
No no no more talking
No no no more son of a bitch
No more happyface

If I...could find...the will...to kill...

Here we go again

No no no more son of a bitch
No no no no more son of a bitch
No no no more son of a bitch
No more happy face

If I...Could find...the will...to kill...
Well, I'll kill you son of a bitch!

Great song, huh? Damn, I miss the Toadies.


What's the point of my song dedication? Well, I think it's pretty clear. You and I are both not happy with how things are going, Tracy. But I'm sick of your whining and lack of leadership. Quit trying to beg out of a tough situation. You're only going to appreciate winning when you have to struggle to get there. Hakeem had the same problem in 1992. But we didn't trade him, and it's unlikely that we'll trade you. And the "here we go again" part? Well, that's me recognizing that you've tried to pull this stunt before. I'm no longer falling for it.

So, essentially, quit your bitching. Quit sulking. Quit talking about how bad things are. Go develop that killer instinct and win some freakin' basketball games. Maybe even a playoff series or two? Just don't pass the ball to Rafer when he's supposedly open. Trust me on that.

Rafer is about as consistent as Eli Manning

To paraphrase Mr. Garrison...

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, what do I have to do to get people to understand how much Rafer Alston sucks?!? Now I have the Houston freakin' Chronicle publishing articles about how the Rockets are "more consistent" with Rafer Alston as the PG.

You've gotta be f--king kidding me! Let's see, Rafer is the starting PG for a drastically underachieving team that's 17-17 (or .500 for those of you who like percentages and shit). The Rockets were projected to compete for the best record in the West. With McGrady and Yao, they were expected to make a strong push for playoff success. Instead, the newly "consistent" Rafer has "led" the team to the 4th best record in its own division, and would currently be on the outside looking in for the playoffs.

That aside, today's Rafer-themed article in the Chron is a puff piece for mediocrity.

Rafer: "We put in a lot of work. I think it's starting to show."

Hey, Rafer, by "starting to show" do you mean your 39% shooting? Or your 31% shooting behind the arc? Or your 62% free throw percentage? Or your two turnovers a game average? Enlighten me, please, for I must know what you have actually "improved" on this year.

Rafer: "I think I'm getting a better angle and more arc on the runners and the floaters," ... "I'm getting more spin when I put it off the glass. I give myself a better chance to make."

Holy shit - you aren't talking about that "tearput" shot of yours, are you? Urgent and horrifying news story: Rafer, you still can't make that shot. Stop taking it! Do I need to have all 8 of your bosses give you copies of that memo? Making 1-in-10 is not marked improvement. Or at least, not enough improvement to matter.

Maybe I need to contact the guy over at the Larry Hughes blog to dedicate some space to your shot selection as well..........

Oh, wait, there's more - it gets better:

"You're always aware of the criticism," Alston said. "But I thought of it like a football player. We have franchise players on our team, but I'm still the quarterback, and if the team loses, the quarterback is going to get the criticism. I felt that as a point guard on any level, you're going to get the criticism, because you spearhead the team, set the tone for the team. I listen to it here and there. It's funny to me. It's just opinions. If someone calls in and says, 'We got to get rid of Alston,' that's one person's opinion. The next person could call in and say 'Alston is really good.' You have to be a strong-minded person. That's what I am. I can deal with all the criticism."

Dude, you are barely 6' tall and are even skinnier than me (which is saying something). To compare yourself to a football player is laughable (unless you are comparing yourself to David Carr. That might actually be appropriate.) And I wouldn't hold my breath waiting to hear someone say "Alston is really good" - this isn't the And-1 league. I just hope that this "criticism" you are hearing is the ranting and raving this blog has done to get your ass traded. FYI, Aaron Brooks is outplaying you. He's a midget. And he'd have your job if Ricky wasn't so afraid of rookies.

More from Ricky:

"I think Rafer's really done a nice job in the last week and a half, two weeks doing that," coach Rick Adelman said. "I think he has a mindset because of the opportunities there. The way teams are trying to defend us, it's going to be open. If we set a good screen for him, or any of the guards, if they're going to put two guys on Yao, there's no one to help, and he can attack the basket. We have to do it that way. We have to attack."

Problem is... Rafer still doesn't attack the basket. (Indirect evidence of McGrady's "leadership"?) One layup against Orlando does not change an entire reputation. And you still took the shot too early! And you're always open because the best defense against Yao is to let you chuck 3s all day. Sometimes they even hit the rim!

Oh, here's the grand finale:

"I was struggling with the 3. I thought I could do something I've been known for through my life, that's being a penetrating guard," Alston said. "What helps is I'm finishing at a high percentage right now, driving to the basket, being able to finish with both hands. Then it opens up my jump shot. Now, they have a tendency to close out on me short, knowing I'm driving more, and I get a better look at the 3 ... We've worked since training camp, Coop, Kenny and I, on different finishes, different spins, putting more arc on the ball. They felt I could finish better around the rim and I'm doing so."

First... your struggles with the 3 are decidedly not in the past tense. You still suck at it. And if finishing 50% of your layups is a "high percentage" - you've been talking to Bonzi too much. Furthermore, the LAST thing we want is for your jump shot to be open - it means you aren't passing it to Yao enough.

I have never seen someone so satisfied with themselves when their team is playing badly. Yeah, you've won 4 of 6. But there are initial 28 other games you still have to make-up for, Rafer.

What next... an article in the Chron praising McGrady's toughness? I can almost sense Yao seething.

current record: 17-17; game 3 of projected 4 game winning streak is tomorrow night versus Washington (sans Agent Zero).

"A return to normalcy"

Yeah, the title quote from Warren G. Harding -- quite appropriate to describe Rafer and his game last night. Considering that Harding was the worst U.S. President ever.

Anyway, Friday night's box score for Rafer:

7-14 FG, 3-4 (3 pt FG), 20 points, 8 assists and 2 steals.
A very good game. AND the Rockets win!

Last night's box score for Rafer (against the freakin' Knicks):

5-14 FG, 2-8 (3 pt FG), 14 points, 4 assists and 3 turnovers.
A more typical Rafer game. Fortunately, the opponent was the Knicks and the Rockets won convincingly.

Maybe we can bait Isiah into trading for Rafer??

Oh, nevermind... it's not like the Knicks have any tradeable assets anymore. I certainly don't want Starbury anywhere near Houston. Yao would kill him. Or just beat his ass with his own shoe.

Enough about Rafer. Rockets have won 2 in a row. Going to make it at least 2-3 more in a row. Mediocrity, here we come! (All that aside, the Rockets are going to the playoffs. Just wait and see! February is going to be huge for us.)

Two Down, Two to Go

Well, that's the start to the season comeback anyway. Rockets win tonight 103-91 in a game that was not that close. Yao was typically dominant here's his line:

12/21 and 6/7 for 30 points, 4 O 4 D for 8 rebounds, 6 assists, 1 steal, and 4 counted blocks, he actually had six, the score keeper is on crack for not getting the other two.

You know who thinks he's good? Eddy Curry. You know who's not good?

Every time he plays Yao he tries to play hard, every time he plays Yao, Yao dominates. Give it up Eddy, you suck.

You know who doesn't suck? Aaron Brooks. 22 points including 4/5 from 3 for the big little guy. I think he didn't want the other wee man Nate Robinson to show him up. Nate tried to play D on him a few times and it was like midget wrestling, it was awesome.

And Rafer, seriously dude, you must like being shit on by this web site. After a spectacular game last night you follow it up with a complete clunker:

5/14 including 2 for 8 from the 3 point line. Fine man, you suck. There! Are you happy now???

Why didn't Luis Scola play more tonight? He had 10 points in 9 minutes and then didn't play again until the very end of the game. It really made no sense. He was 5/6 with a rebound and a steal. It's like Chewbacca, he's a wookie on Endor, it doesn't make sense.

Great game guys, let's keep it up. Wizards up next at 6PM CST on Tuesday. Then the Knicks at the Garden and then the Timberwolves at home. I guess when Dave predicted four in a row he didn't realize the worst team in the league was our fifth game. So I'll be the first to say it: We should make it 5 in a row. Dave and I will be there for that one. I love these guys night out packages, 2 beers, 2 dogs and a giveaway for the price of a normal ticket, my wife isn't so enamored. The Hornets are up after that, and I want no part of predictions/guarantees for that one.

It's a Championship Rematch from 93-94!

Well, not really, but they are the same teams. This is win two of our 4 game win streak and the Knicks are a great team to get it against. It would be our fourth win in six games, and that's better than most thought when McGrady went down. But we want to at least make it 6 of the last 8. And tonight the Knicks should get ready for their 7th loss in a row and 12th of their last 14.

What am I trying to say? The Knicks suck, and if you lose to the Knicks at home I think you get kicked out of the league. They have one road win on the season against the Cavaliers, and the league was going to make them forfeit their season, but can't afford to lose LeBron's ratings.

So, at 7PM CST, let's get it on Knickerbockers, and get ready to lose.

Let's not start sucking each others........

Hey, Rafer, awesome f'n game man. Really. Color me momentarily impressed.

Here's the thing though -- don't let it get to your head. You still suck.

One 20 point game a 2 point victory does not an all-star make. Or even a mediocre point guard. Hell, Tony Delk once scored 53 points in a game. Tony Delk. And he kinda sucked, too.

Things to work on:

(a) Try not giving the ball back to the other team when the score is tied and you have the ball. Yes, you scored the game winning layup. But you also gave the Magic 4+ seconds to attempt to tie the game AND they even almost got a chance at a tip-in following a miss. (Remember the famous clip of Isiah -- "score is tied... either we win the game or we go to overtime") Never give the other team a chance.

(b) When you do decide to give the Magic 4+ seconds to try to tie the game, try to stay in front of the man with the ball frantically driving to the basket for a layup. You were like an air traffic controller guiding him to the rim.

(c) There's a guy named Yao who is still on your team. He's 7'5". Pass him the damn ball.

Other than that, congrats guys... 16-17 and on the way to my predicted 4 game winning streak.

Who's House? Yao's House!

Yao pretty much owns Dwight Howard, they showed a stat early in the game showing that in DHo's 7 games previous to this he averages 12 points and 7 rebounds(May be made up I can't remember the exact stat), by far his worst stats against any one team. And that is with a 21 and 11 the last time out added in. Tonight, Yao continued his domination. And I don't want to hear a single word from Magic fans, he legitimately fouled all 6 times and could have been called for another one.

You know what this does to Howard's reputation? Not a damn thing, he's a fantastic young player and one of my favorite in the league.

It does however, mean that Yao has owned the meetings.

This season alone:

Game 1
Howard: 7-13 for 21 points, 11 boards (1 Offensive), 3 blocks and 5 fouls and he was 7-9 from the line
Yao: 7 - 18 for 19 points, 19 boards (5 Offensive), 3 blocks, 2 assists, 3 fouls and 5-8 from the line

Game 2
Howard: 5-11 for 16 points, 8 boards(2 Offensive), 3 Steals, 1 block, 6 fouls and 6-10 from the line
Yao: 10-18 for 26 points, 10 boards (6 Offensive), 4 fouls and 6-7 from the line

There is an ongoing problem though, in the last 4 games, there has been a ridiculous foul called against Yao. Tonight's was the worst. He stood in the lane as Luther Head went for a layup on the fast break. Dwight Howard runs up his back and Yao is called for an offensive foul. It was the worst foul call I've seen that involved contact in my 22 years of watching NBA basketball (I'm older than that, but don't count stuff like that until I actually know what I was watching). It was even worse than the foul that the Beard had called for him the other night and worse than the offensive call he got when he got punched in the ribs two nights ago. It was horrendous in every sense of the word. I'm hoping someone over at Clutchfans caught that on video so I can post it here. I can't even describe it well enough to give it true justice.

Update, here's the video (And the racist crap isn't my tag, just comes with the vid):

Yao-gets-another-Bogus-call--Refs-Racist-plain-and-simple - Get Video Code

And for anyone saying that the Magic won tonight, give me a break, that could have gone either way. It was one that I could have seen called in or out. I personally think it was no good, but I would not have been upset if it had been called good.

Well this is a first

The Rockets just beat the Orlando Magic, win one of the four game streak that The Dream Shake has predicted. That's a rarity in itself this season, a Rockets win against a good team. But that's not the first I'm talking about. This is:

Rafer Alston had a great game. I know what you're thinking; "Holy shit someone on The Dream Shake complimented RAFER."(EDIT: It's so rare I accidentally typed Yao here last night.) And you'd be right to think that.

Rafer, I salute you (Dave hates you in every way still though, I promise). You had a wonderful game. If you want to play like that every game, I'll stop talking shit about you relentlessly. This was the Rafer we thought we were getting when we traded someone we actually liked in Mike James for you. 20 points, 7/14 including 3/4 from the three, 8 assists, only 2 TOs and 2 steals to cap it off. And on 3 of your 4 threes you had no choice with the clock winding down, and on the fourth you were wide open. Seriously man, I'm not joking, that is what I want from you night in and night out.

And just to keep the rest of the I hate Rafer Alston crowd happy, I could take a few less of your "tearputs", that is not a legitimate shot, just lay it up man.

I thought he deserved his own post, I'm proud of you Rafer.

Rockets versus Magic, it's FANNNNTASTIC

Tonight at 6 Post Meridiem Central Standard Time… wait, now I get why we just say 6 PM CST, that’s a lot easier. Anyway, at 6 PM CST tonight the Houston Rockets will take on the Orlando Magic. This could be a big game. It is a chance to go 3-1 with Tracy out and a win against a good team; which we haven’t had in a while. And what does the outcome of this game hinge on?

Everyone but Yao hitting the open shot that he provides

The problem with that for me? That’s not the sexy answer!! I want it to hinge on Yao versus D-Ho. So we’re going to pretend like it does!

Tonight it’s Yao versus D-Ho, live on regional television!!

Let’s get a few things out of the way:
1. Yao is a bad ass
2. Dwight is a bad ass
3. They can both be bad asses equally, one doesn’t have to win
4. Yao plays for my Rockets and sorry Dwight, that makes him better on principle alone

Stats comparison:
Yao Ming:

Dwight Howard:

Let’s analyze a few of these:

Career Averages

Edges to Howard:
Minutes Played 35.9 to 32.2: That’s a big stat, but not a huge difference. Some of this has to do with a few of Yao’s injuries having to be taken slowly on the recovery. But still, it’s a testament to Dwight’s conditioning. He’s actually up to 39 minutes a game this year and Yao up to 37, those are big numbers for centers

Field Goal % .562 to .518: .562 is a spectacular number. And that’s actually being brought down by his first two years, he’s shooting better than 60% the last two years. He’s good around the basket and his strength allows him great positioning. Yao isn’t exactly a slouch, especially considering he takes a lot of jumpers and hook shots that Howard does not have the range for.

Rebounds Per 12.1 to 9.1: What can I say? Other than that he’s the best rebounder in the game in my eyes. Yao’s at number 8 this year, that’s really good as well.

Edges to Yao:
Points Per 18.8 to 16: This stat is skewed a bit by 2 things 1. Yao has more years 2. Yao plays with another superstar; they cancel each other out in my mind, so edge to Yao.

Blocks Per 1.9 to 1.8: Both have done a great job at becoming true shot blockers. But the stat is the stat, Yao is the winner at blocks

Turnovers Per 2.6 to 2.9: This one is amazingly in Yao’s favor. Well not amazing to me, but amazing to those that think he’s soft and clumsy. He’s not, and there you go, his turnover ratio is better than Howard’s so suck it haters.

Free Throw % .826 to .606: Yao is better than most centers in the history of the known universe, so this isn’t a surprise. Now we just need the referees of the NBA to realize that Yao indeed does get fouled. Oh, and that he can play good defense and to stop calling bullshit fouls on him.

Total It Up: So grand total, 3 categories to Howard, and 4 to Yao. Plus Yao has 2 more years in the league, so I’m counting that as number 5. What’s that? I can’t do that? Yes I can, it’s my blog!

Your winner! Yao Ming, look at those guns!

And my prediction for the game tonight? PAIN!

Streaking! [For] a Quad!!

Yes, I firmly believe the Rockets will win the next four games. I see a four-game winning streak ahead of us if we can take care of business. Come on, everybody, we're going streaking!!! For a quad!!! (Rafer, you don't have to join us if you don't want to... it's okay. Really. And keep your green hat.)


My gamble begins tonight with the Rockets traveling to Orlando to establish their dominance over Dwight Howard and the Magic. My statement (not quite a guarantee) that the Rockets would win has already been called out by a prominent Magic blog. Nevertheless, I stick by my initial convictions!!!

The recipe for success? Distract Dwight Howard by hijacking the videotron above the court - have it play The Lion King on an endless loop. Howard has already admitted to it being his favorite movie. He will not be able to overcome the technological sneak attack.

Yao can then dunk all over his ass.


Then just wait 5 minutes... and let Rashard Lewis start shooting 3s non-stop while he counts his money. Rebound the inevitable misses. Savor the results. Oh, and keep Rafer on the bench and let our midget rookie play. That guy can play some ball!

Point / Counterpoint

Hey, Roger Clemens:

F-U!

Look, Lee may not care that you and 85% of the MLB players from 1988 through, oh, today, took HGH and 'roids. But I do.

(And by the way, HGH has always been illegal to obtain without a prescripton. Anabolic steroids have always been illegal. Just because it's not in baseball's rules didn't make it okay. Kinda like how baseball doesn't need to write a rule/bylaw that says you cannot murder the umpire when he makes a bad call. It's obvious.)

Yeah, the Mitchell Report was a witch hunt. But without it, we would have never known about your fetish for ass-injected B12. Or lidocain. Or the rabies shots you had to get after Mike Piazza touched you. For it is certainly not information you would have volunteered had it not been for the MLB-sponsored witch hunt.

Too bad you don't play for the Astros now, because you and Tejada would apparently have gotten along great! Just ask Raffy!

Look, you did the 'roids. You did the HGH. You know it. We all know it now. You're still going to get into the HOF, just not on the first ballot. Just sack up and admit what you did. Waiting a month to get your buddy to throw you softball questions and then answer prepared questions by the media is not exactly going to prove your "innocence".

Trying to get me to believe that you have no idea why your friend would lie about you just insults my intelligence. And I hate the fact that I supported you for 24 years even when everyone else hated you for being a prick. Now you prove them right. Thanks, a-hole.

B12 and Lidocaine are Life's Little Miracles

The Dream Shake was founded to talk about everything Houston Rockets, but we certainly reserve the right to talk about whatever we want (It's my ball, if you don't like it I go home and take it with me!) And to me, Roger Clemens stating that the steroids he is accused of injecting were:

"Lidocaine and [vitamin] B-12. It's for my joints, and B-12 I still take today,"

Why do I care about this little story? Because Roger is a Houston, University of Texas, Red Sox and Astros icon. And those all happen to e things I care a lot about. Yes I know he plays for the Yankees, I try to ignore that because I genuinely like Roger. I've met him multiple times, he always been great, especially with kids. He signs autographs, and will shoot the shit with you, I like that in my sports heroes. Plus, he came home (even if he went and played mercenary this last year) and that is a big deal to me.

Here's my quandary, we all know Roger did the roids and the HGH, I just don't care. I also don't care that Jeff Bagwell or Barry Bonds did them, or the other 85% of the players in the MLB. It just doesn't matter to me. And some can say it was against the rules, but an unenforceable rule is not really a rule in my book. And hell, HGH wasn't even against said rules until much later. The problem I have is that Roger is obviously not telling the truth, and I'm not sure why. He lives in Houston and people idolize the man here. He was unlikely to play baseball next year and has more money than a few of the owners in the league (not based in fact.) Why does he care? I mean, he's a man, he's over 40, so maybe it's just a fire that says he has to defend his own honor. But come on Roger, just let it go.

That's not to say in any way that he should have, or anyone should have for that matter, cooperated with Mitchell. Fuck him and his witch hunt, he had no authority and had no right to ask anyone to come talk to him. You are a fucking idiot no matter how innocent you are if you would have talked to him ahead of time.

Roger, I'm just going to have to remember you like this:

and this:

The good news is that while it's a ridiculous traveshamockery, I won't have to see you in Cooperstown with a Yankees hat on your plaque.

This Day in History: January 3rd

Rafer Alston sucks, that's been widely elaborated on by this site many, many times. And today is no different. In fact, there are a lot of historical things that happened on January 3rd in the world, and Rafer's every day game play is a reflection of them.

In 1823, Stephen F. Austin gets a Texas land grant from the Mexican government. This was the start to Texas becoming it's own country. Rafer was given a shot on the And1 tour a start to a "professional career" for him. Unfortunately also on January 3rd the capital of Texas' namesake was arrested and imprisoned in 1834 (worked out in the end though, take that Santa Anna!). Rafer also has had his down swing after making the NBA, most notably, sucking.

In 1870 construction on the Brooklyn Bridge began using limestone and granite bricks in construction. To honor a bridge from his home town of NYC, Rafer continually throws up bricks still to this day.

In 1871 Henry Bradley patented his famous margarine. Much like Rafer it had a lot of promise but is now linked to heart damage.

Marvin C. Stone patented the drinking straw on January 3, 1888. This is a completely underrated invention. No more cold teeth. Plus it gave Rafer something to suck shit through.

The easiest way for Rafer to get out of town got a name on this day in 1899. The first known use of the word automobile was written in The New York Times. Rafer's from NYC, coincidence? I think not.

In 1959 Alaska took over Texas' reign as the largest land mass state in the union pissing me off (if I was alive in 1959 it would have anyway). Rafer honors this by pissing Dave and I off on a daily basis. It's his way of showing he cares.

The second worst of all happened in 1973, George Steinbrenner bought the NY Yankees. Why is this significant? Because the Yankees are one of the few things that I dislike more than Towelie. You might even say I hate the Yankees where I only hate his play on the court. So F Rafer's court time and the Yankees.

And the coup de gras is in Dave's post today. F you Al Del Greco and the Houston Oilers defense. Much like the Oilers that day, Rafer constantly fails to complete his tasks in the second half of games.

This has been January 3rd in History, thanks for tuning in.

Without Choke City, there is no Clutch City

January 3, 1993.

It was fifteen years ago. The Houston Oilers set the standard for embarrassment in professional sports. The Oilers, led by future Hall of Fame QB Warren Moon (and the prolific run-and-shoot offense) took on the hated rival Buffalo Bills. The Bills were usually led by Jim Kelly, but not this time - Frank Reich was in at QB due to an injury to Kelly.

The Oilers quickly built a 28-3 halftime lead. Warren Moon was unstoppable.

And yet I'll never forget the halftime interview of Bill Cowher by Bob Costas. Pittsburgh was set to play the winner of the Oilers/Bills game, and Costas asked Cowher if he was already preparing to play the Houston Oilers due to the "insurmountable" halftime lead.

That smug midget jinxed us.

The Oilers took the field in the 2nd half ready for blood. And on the Bills' first pass of the half, Bubba McDowell took Frank Reich's errant pass all the way to house for a TD. The score:

35-3.

There was no way we could lose this game. Check that...

Offensive Coordinator Kevin Gilbride (douchebag #1 - ask Buddy Ryan) and Defensive Coordinator Jim Eddy (#2) then decided to go into a wussified conservative offense along with a prevent defense. As everyone at home knows, but apparently no NFL coach knows - the prevent defense only prevents you from winning. The Oilers went into a lock-down mode playing not to lose instead of playing to win.

Next thing I know... the Bills run one in on a seemingly meaningless 1 yard TD. Then the Bills recover an onside kick.

Then Don Beebe runs OUT OF FUCKING BOUNDS... and catches a TD in the end zone. The ref was not paying attention to the guy 10 feet out of bounds who still caught the pass and did not throw a flag. 35-17 all of a sudden. Fuck.

By that point, my 15 year old head was spinning and next thing I know the Bills score on a TD pass to Andre Reed. And then another. All of a sudden it's 35-31. And on another Reed TD reception... the Bills somehow took the lead at 38-35.

Oilers somehow tie it up to force OT (thank you, Al Del Greco for delaying the inevitable.)

Early in the OT session, Moon attempts a third-down pass to Ernest Givens. But Givens was given the Woodland Critters treatment by the Buffalo defense. The gang-rape prevented him getting to the ball, and Moon's pass was picked off. Bills ball at the 20 yard line. Game fucking over.

Now, it goes without saying that this game sucked huge Donkey Balls. And at that point was the basis for the worst day of my entire life.

But, on the flip side... while the Oilers introduced us to the concept of Choke City -- without this game (and the Rockets collapse against Phoenix in Game 2 in 1994), there could never be a Clutch City. And I guess I should be thankful for that.

Go Rockets!

Tough Game, Tough Team

The Rockets found themselves down by 20 in the first half yesterday and they could have given up. They could have, but they didn't. As Dave said, there are no moral victories. There are building blocks in a long season though, and this is one of them. The Rockets now know that they can play without TMac if they play as a team, that's invaluable.

What did I like about the game? Aaron Brooks running the offense AND playing some good defense, Luis Scola's hustle even though he was getting screwed by not being on the floor more, and second half monster dunking Yao. I also like the fight in the team as a whole, and yes, even Towelie had some fight in him last night. They fed Yao relentlessly.

What didn't I like? Unfortunately Rafer also had some pathetic turnovers, including one that was probably given to Head, but was because Rafer passed him the ball and then ran right into him. The Rockets letting the Celtics get a 20 point lead. And I say letting because they had plenty of open looks, everyone was just taking paint chips off the rim during that period of the game. First half Yao's shooting was truly awful, I don't know what was up but he was certainly not in the same country as his shooting touch. Luckily it got FedEx'd same day for the second half.

The worst part of the game was the officiating. I rarely hear Bill Worrell or Clyde or AirBullard call out the officials, but it was relentless in the second half. Bill even called Bill Spooner out by name. I'm not sure how fining works, but if announcers can be fined, he will be getting a nice present from the league. The problem with that fine? Bill is right, Spooner seemed to have a personal vendetta with Yao like Dick Bavetta used to have with this site's namesake. It was pathetic, and Yao kept cool somehow, simply choosing to release his anger on the rim with three crazy gorilla dunks, one on Garnett's head.

I am encouraged over all by the game, a little more proper Yao officiating, and a little less rim clanking in the first half and it might have gone our way. We get a rematch at home on March 18th. And I agree with Dave, we're going on a 4 game winning streak starting tomorrow night. I'm saying Yao puts up 32 and 15 with 2 blocks and 4 assists on Friday.

There are no moral victories

The facts are the facts:

The Rockets lost to the Celtics 97-93 last night.
It counts just as much as if we lost by 40.
The Rockets are now 15-17.
T-Mac is still out of the lineup.
Rafer Alston still sucks.
Yao Ming is still a badass.

But there are many things to be learned from last night's game.

1. Referees hate Yao Ming. There were back-to-back bullshit calls last night. This follows the worst call I've ever seen from Monday night when the Beard ran into Yao while Yao had the ball and was shooting. And they called a foul on Yao because Baron fell down.

2. If we don't give the other team a 20 point head start, we might actually win a game. I turn on the TV and the next thing I know we are down 40-20. Then Aaron Brooks and Scola come into the game and we start playing much, much better. Coincidence?

3. Rafer Alston should not be taking 16 shots. I do not care if he actually made 8 of them... first time he's shot 50% in forever. But he was 1-5 from 3-ball land. Where we actually needed help.

4. Luther Head should not be playing 33 minutes. Look, I realize there were matchup problems with Boston. I get that. I do. But Aaron Brooks was giving Rondo and the Celtics fits with steals and timely passes. Luther Head, on the other hand, still cannot figure out how to pass the ball to a man who is 7'5". Bill Worrell last night with 1:00 left in the 4th Q:

"Luther just cannot make that pass for the life of him... he has such difficulty with the entry pass to Yao."

(When Bill is taking time away from ripping the referees to announce to the world how much you suck at post-entry passes - that's bad!)

5. Boston is really, really good.

With Golden State and Boston out of the way, the Rockets *should* win their next four - with or without T-Mac. (Magic, Knicks, Wizards, Knicks)

19-17???

Free Luis Scola?

Not to steal any ideas or concepts and especially not trademarks from the guys over at FreeDarko (for my vocabulary just is not expansive enough to compete)...

but the Rockets need to free Luis Scola. Now. When the trade with San Antonio was made over the summer, whereby we acquired the rights to Luis, many thought our problems at the power forward position were solved. Chuck Hayes is a very solid role player (translation: he can't shoot or pass, but he knows his role). Luis Scola, however, was expected to be a very skilled offensive player who could also contribute with a respectable amount of defensive rebounds. It made for quite a good day when he was introduced as the newest Rocket.


Hell, they even gave Scola jersey #4 -- i.e. the same number Barkley wore when he was with the Rockets. That could not have been unintentional.

In pre-season, in large part due to the acquisition of Scola, John Hollinger picked the Rockets to possibly win the NBA Championship and also compete for 60 victories on the season. To paraphrase Kenny Mayne - that would be a (Rockets) record. Sadly, with the Rockets languishing at 15-16, we'd have to go 45-6 over the rest of the season to win 60 games. Yeah, that's not happening.

Scola has not been the second coming of Barkley (yet), but his stats are misleading for many reasons. He's averaging only 7.4 ppg to go with 5.1 rebounds and an even 1.0 assists. Though upon closer inspection you'll see he's getting these numbers in only 19.6 minutes of game action. If Scola played 40 minutes, he'd average 15 points and 10 rebounds. We could not ask for more from him as the third option behind Yao and McGrady.

Scola has clearly been more productive offensively than Chuck Hayes. He's not that far behind defensively either (though he does seem prone to stupid fouls and mental errors in team defense at times). Why then does he seem to rot away on the bench in the 4th quarter? Apparently - I am no longer the only one who notices this. From ESPN.com - David Thorpe's Rookie Analysis (where Scola is ranked #5):

Analysis
December 26, 2007
Every time I focus on Scola, he leaves me wondering why he does not get more playing time. He seems to have an antidote for a team currently 22nd in offensive efficiency. He can shoot, post up and create his own shot -- with crafty moves and superb timing on his counter-spin (both off the dribble and on the blocks).

I guess Rick Adelman really, really does not like rookies. Even the non-traditional ones. Hey, Ricky - were you not aware that Luis is an international basketball star? He's kinda good and stuff. He even helped his country win some medals. Things LeBron and D-Wade have had trouble doing. If SportsCenter worthy highlights are what you need to be impressed, Scola can deliver:

He's got mad gorilla-dunking skillz!

When the season started and we opened against the Kobes, I was okay with Luis not starting. I understood he needed to be slowly introduced to the NBA game. And that Chuck might have issues being productive coming off the bench. But we're now almost 30 games into the season, and we're not exactly making a positive playoff push. The worst was on Monday when Scola was killing (and I mean killing) Golden State with rebounds, shooting and hustle plays. Yet when the fourth quarter saw the Rockets choking away an 11 point lead -- Scola was nowhere to be found. Why??!?! Scola has the prettiest looking shot on the Rockets for all players shorter than 7'5" - we need to start taking advantage of this. I mean... have you seen Chuck Hayes try to shoot? It is cringe-worthy.

Free Scola!!!

The Big Green

I heard on the radio this morning that's who we are playing tonight, The Big Green. I was totally pumped, because I thought we were playing the Celtics, and those guys are good. 26-3 good. That's incredible good, in case you were wondering, that's on pace for 78-9, okay, well there aren't 87 games in a season, but I'm not very good at math. I think it works out to like 74-8, and in case you were wondering, that would be better than the 95-96 Bulls record of 72-10. Of course they haven't played the Spurs, the Suns, the Mavs or the Hornets yet. But I'm still glad we're playing:Does Patrick Renna really think he can guard Yao? He has to be their center, right? He's been Ham Porter (shit talking catcher), Larry Musgrove (shit talking goalie) and The Sandlot (the inarguable greatest baseball movie of all time) tells us that he will one day become the great Hambino, surely he is the most talented sports kid of all time. Though to be fair, Squints plays for both teams as well.

We are also lucky for this, tonight we get this on the sidelines:

And that's awesome, I got my first crush on her when she was Kevin Arnold's older hippie sister. And seeing that she not only knows soccer, but now apparently knows basketball too? If I wasn't in love with my wife, I'd be a huge Big Green groupie.

To top it all off, Steve Guttenberg will be there, and who wouldn't get excited for that? Hell, maybe Micheal Winslow will show up and do some sound effects to show some love for his Police Academy partner in crime!

What's that? We really are playing the Celtics??? FUCK, those guys don't suck. They even found a way to make Kevin Garnett smile again, that does not bode well.

That is not the formula for success

Thank God it is 2008 - for 2007 could not have been more disappointing and frustrating if you were a member of the Houston Rockets.

Monday night's effort and result was a metaphor for the entire season to date. Start strong, look impressive... then go limp and lose to Golden State.

In the process, we may have stumbled upon an anti-formula. Whereas the formula for success is simple: play inside-out, feed the Big Man, and then make open 3s... the Rockets tried a new formula Monday night. Let's break it down:

1. Announce that T-Mac will possibly miss 7 more games. (check!)
2. Only get the aforementioned Big Man (that 7'5" guy named Yao) all of eight (8!!) shots in the entire game. (check!!)
3. Play Rafer Alston 44 minutes and also allow him to chuck bricks seventeen (17!!) times. (check!!!)

For those without math degrees, Rafer shot more than twice as much as Yao. Brilliant!

4. Miss 10 layups. Yes, I am looking at you, Bonzi.

and...

5. Go up by 11 points in the third quarter and immediately declare victory. And by "declare victory" I mean stop playing defense, stop passing the ball, stop trying to take the ball to the basket and stop rebounding. Then again, the Rockets made no effort to rebound all night. Out-rebounded 47-34 by Golden State. Ouch.

Of course, there is an easier way to explain how/why the Rockets lost Monday:

When Rafer Alston is named "Player of the Game" by Bill and Clyde... you're pretty fucked.

Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison!!!

Welcome to the Year of Our Lord 2008

Or at least mine. Happy New Year everyone!! Disappointing loss last night, but I'm an optimist this year, I truly believe that the Rockets will turn it around by the All Star break. Hell we're only 2 games back of 9th place and 3 games back of 8th place. We can turn it around, I know it. I have a feeling we are going to beat Boston, they just seem like a team that needs a loss to the Rockets, and the Rockets are just the team to give them a loss to the Rockets!

Anyway, Happy New Year to all!